Chapter Nineteen
B rady
Holy shit! Had he just told Jane he loved her?
He squeezed his eyes closed and buried his face against her neck.
Her sweet jasmine scent wrapped him in a cocoon, made him feel safe, even with his feelings.
So comfortable, in fact, he had said he’d loved her.
He had never said those three words in a meaningful manner to anyone.
Not a single soul. And he’d just blurted them out during the most epic orgasm of his life.
She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him even closer. Her chest rose and fell in rhythm with his own.
What the hell had he done now? The words had slipped out in a rush of pleasure, but he’d meant them.
He’d never meant anything more in his life.
He loved her—completely and undeniably. Every cell within him vibrated with it.
But he hadn’t planned to say it. Not yet.
Not like that. Not in the middle of reunion sex.
Would she think it was just a byproduct of his orgasm? God, he was shit at this relationship stuff.
Lifting his head, he met her gaze. Her green eyes swirled with emotion. But she didn’t say a word.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, kissing the tip of her nose.
“For what?” A soft smile curved her lips.
“For storming in here. For taking you so roughly. For not coming to you sooner. For leaving things the way I did.” But not for those three words. He wouldn’t take them back. He wouldn’t even bring them up unless she did. If she chalked it up to ecstasy, that was fine. For now.
“Brady.” She ruffled his hair with her fingers.
“I’ve tried to move on.” He shook his head. “I’m at a crossroads. I’m not ready to confront your brother with this,” he motioned between them,” but I’m also not letting you go. Ever again. I can’t.”
Her brows pinched together, forming that familiar little worry line he adored. “What are you saying?”
“I want you, Princess. I need you.” His gaze didn’t waver.
“I can’t do casual with you. Friends with benefits. I won’t. I’m not built that way.” She looked down at her hands, her voice barely a whisper. “It will tear my heart to shreds to see you with another woman.”
“There is no other woman,” he said firmly. “There is no one else.”
“We can talk to Rex together.” She wrung her hands in her lap. “I don’t want to live in the shadows. I don’t want to be your secret.”
“We will. I promise.” He kissed her softly. “But I need a little time. Let me catch my breath with you. Let me make sure we’re steady before we bring in the storm.”
He knew it wasn’t fair. Not to her. Not to Rex. But the truth was, he wasn’t ready. Maybe he was the goddamn coward his father always accused him of being.
“I’m not ashamed of you.” She squeezed his hand. “Of us.”
“I know.”
“How long do you need?” She squeezed her eyes closed for a second.
He pulled her into him. “A few weeks.”
She sighed. “What are you worried about, Brady?”
He pulled back from her and met her gaze, eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I’m scared. Afraid you will wake up one day and realize you don’t want me. That I’m not what you need. That once the haze of sex fades, you’ll see me for what I am.”
She reached up and cupped his jaw, her thumb brushing along his stubble. “That isn’t going to happen.”
“You can’t promise that. You don’t know.”
“Then tell me,” she whispered. “What don’t I know?”
He swallowed hard. “I come from a long line of angry, broken men. Men who destroy everything good in their lives. And some days...” His voice cracked. “Some days I want to shred my life to pieces. The brewery. My friendships. Myself.”
He shook his head and looked away. “I don’t deserve what I have. Not the business. Not Rex. Not T. And definitely not you.”
She placed her hand over her chest. “It breaks my heart to hear you say these things, Brady.”
He squeezed his eyes closed. He wished more than anything that he didn’t mean them. He wasn’t good enough for her. He had his father’s blood coursing through his veins. But he wasn’t giving her up. Not this time.
“You are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known,” she said softly. “I have always been able to open up to you. To trust you. You’ve let me ramble on about my teenage heartbreaks and friend problems and never made me feel the fool.”
He chuckled. The memory clear, sixteen-year-old Jane pouring her heart out for two straight hours.
Rex had tried to lure him away with a beer and a game of billiards, but Brady had stayed, quietly listening while she vented her high school angst. He hadn’t said much as drama wasn’t his thing, but she’d walked away lighter.
“You’ve always been there,” she continued. “You helped me get my studio ready, made sure I had what I needed. And when I’ve been burned by guys, you’ve defended me. You’ve had my back.”
He grimaced. The idea of her with other men had all sorts of feelings crashing into him.
He thought back to one of her college boyfriends, who had cheated on her at a party.
After Rex had received a late night call with Jane in tears, the three friends drove over to her college and gave the jackass a talking to when he wouldn’t stop banging on her dorm.
“But I can’t change where I come from, Princess.” He stared down at her legs still wrapped around him.
“None of us can. But we can move in the direction we want to go—not the direction we feel has been carved for us by our bloodline or ancestry.” She ruffled his hair, softening the weight of her words.
He looked up at her, his heart pounding. Her green eyes scanned his face with warmth.
“I want to be with you,” she said. “You! Not anyone else.”
“Fuck, I want that too.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, fighting the emotions rising in his chest.
“Three weeks,” she said firmly. “In three weeks, we sit down with Rex and tell him. He may be upset at first, but we will deal with it—together.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. Damn, he hoped this didn’t end with him losing both Jane and Rex. But the thought of a life without her, without her in his arms every night, was unbearable. For the first time in his life, something felt right. Whole.
He nodded.