Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
DOTTIE
I can’t do this.
So as soon as Damon fell asleep, I did the coward thing and slipped out of bed and left. I was sure he’d wake up when I fell over trying to get my dress on, but thankfully he didn’t.
Now I’m sitting in my hotel room, on the shower floor, while the hot water washes away my tears. I feel like I’m tearing into two, like I’m being ripped apart, and I don’t know how to glue myself back together.
Memories from last night play havoc in my mind, twisting the already twisted carousel into a bunch of fuckery I can’t untangle. I see his dark, smouldering eyes, his hot, inked body, his pierced cock, but what is at the forefront like it has been for years, is that damn smirk on his handsome face.
It unravels me.
Unnerves me.
Consumes me.
And I don’t know what I’m going to do now that it’s over.
Last night was more than I could have ever hoped for my first time. It was beautiful, intense, and Damon — I saw how much he wanted me, and it scared me.
He can’t have me, and I can’t have him.
Another sob breaks through and echoes around me, when I think of Arrie and how I can’t have anything more with Damon even if I wanted to. Who am I kidding? Of course I want more, and I guess that’s why it hurts so fucking much.
If I give into my wants and desires, I hurt my best friend and cousin. If I do not, I hurt myself and put others before me once again, and another piece of my heart shatters.
But it’s a small price to pay.
Is it?
That stupid voice pipes up for the umpteenth time and I curse the damn thing. And as if the universe is against me, I hear my phone ring in the room, cringing when it’s Arrie’s ringtone.
I can’t avoid her forever. She is my best-friend, and knowing her, she would find out where I am and haul ass here, the longer I dodge her calls.
Wrapping a towel around my waist, I leave the bathroom and grab my phone on the way to the bed. Sitting down, I open it and look through my messages and missed calls. I hate not seeing a message from Damon and the emotions it elicits.
What did I think was going to happen?
Sighing, I call Arrie.
“Wench, you are fucking lucky. Guess what I did this morning?”
“Well good morning to you too,” I say jokingly, hoping it pays off.
“I went to your parents to find that you haven’t been staying there. Something you want to tell me?”
Apprehension forms in my gut, feeling like a heavy weight, and I know it’s because of her last question. I can give her an answer to why I’m not at my parents, but I can’t tell her that I lost my virginity to her stepdad last night.
I swallow down the panic and answer. “I was going to tell you.”
“When?” she cuts in, and I can hear the hurt in her voice.
“I didn’t want you to worry, and it was kind of a last-minute decision.”
“Why didn’t you just stay with my dad?”
Images of Damon flash through my mind, and my body heats at the mention of his name. “I was only staying there because he wasn’t home, Arrie. He’s a grown ass man. What if he wanted to bring someone home? I was not going to be there for that, girl.”
Arrie bursts into a fit of laughter, and I feel my body relax.
“Ok, very true. We both know my father is a man whore.”
I force an awkward laugh. I do not want to think of Damon’s cock near another woman.
“What are you doing now, and where the hell are you?” she demands, breaking me from my inner ramblings.
“I just got out of the shower. And I’m staying at The Melrose.”
“Huh! Least you picked the best place in town. I’ll be there in thirty. Be ready. We are going out for lunch and drinks.”
Groaning, I look at the clock on the bedside table and move my ass to get ready.
Twenty-five minutes later, there is a knock at the door.
Sighing, I check myself over one last time in the mirror and move to open the door. Arrie, in a cute little pink sundress, and behind her are Adam and Connor, dressed in jeans and tight black shirts that showcase their inked arms.
Arrie draws me in for a hug. I squeeze her back, even though the sickly feeling wrestles in my stomach. Tears prick behind my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall, especially when I notice Adam and Connor looking at me.
Adam smirks at me, while Connor just looks at me, like really fucking looks at me, and it makes me squirm under his assessment. Connor has always been attractive, and with his 6’6 muscular and fit build, dirty blonde hair and green eyes, throw in his tattoos, he’s any girls wet dream.
Just not mine.
Plus, I am almost certain when he turns his attention to Arrie, that he is also banging her. Yeah, nah, not going there. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t do it with anyone standing here.
Damon. The Tin Man. My step-uncle.
I force myself to get my shit together.
Even though I betrayed her and her trust last night when I screwed her dad.
I gave my fucking V card to her dad.
Pulling back, she raises a brow and assesses me. When her eyes grow wide, I start to panic. There is no way she could know.
“No. Fucking. Way.”
My eyes dart from her, to see matching confused faces on the boys.
“Is this why… Oh shit. I want the details.” She looks over her shoulder as if she only just realises Adam and Connor are still with us.
“Later. For now, we are getting drunk!”
Five hours and six margaritas later, I am well and truly sloshed.
I take my ass to the bathroom for a breather. The longer I’m around Arrie, the worse I feel about the whole situation. Especially when I can’t stop thinking about him.
Her fucking dad.
Pulling my dress up and thong down, I sit on the toilet to do my business. Pulling out my phone, I squint through one eye and check it for what feels like the thirtieth time, and when I see a message from the Tin Man, my cheeks heat.
Blossom… I can’t stop thinking of you and what happened last night, but I am so angry with how you left me. Did you think I would forget you? Forget how you creamed over, and over on my cock while screaming my name? Like fuck. I know this isn’t ideal, but I’m not ready for this to be over.
Damn the consequences.
I read the message a few times, swaying on the toilet seat with a stupid grin on my face, and when there is a loud bang on the door, I screech, drop my phone and watch it clatter to the floor and outside the stall.
“Shit,” I curse, rushing to stand and pull up my thong, almost falling over.
Opening the door quickly, I come up short when I see my phone in Arrie’s hand while she reads the message. I reach for it quickly, but she snatches it away, peering up to glare at me.
“Going to tell me what happened?” she slurs.
“Wh ─ what do you mean?”
“Who the hell is Tin Man, and does he have a big dick?”
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
I cover my face with my hands. This is not happening. Arrie bursts out laughing, and I peek through my fingers to see her waving my phone in the air while she sways on her heels.
“You lost your virginity and checked out before he woke up. That’s cold, Dottie. Even for you. Now gimme the deets!”
This is so fucking embarrassing.
“Give me my phone and I’ll fill you in.” I lie easily, knowing there is no way I can tell her everything that happened last night.
Arrie smirks, but hands me the phone, staggering as she does, and then her eyes go wide.
“Wait! Is that where you were last night? Why did you lie and say you were at your parents?”
“I didn’t want to tell you if it didn’t work out.” I can at least be honest about that.
“Bullshit.”
“It’s the truth. I would have been so embarrassed if he was an old, overweight guy with a beer gut.”
Arrie laughs.
“Was he?”
“Not in the slightest.”
“Are you going to─to see him again?”
“No. It was a one-time thing. I told him I don’t want more. He didn’t even know I was a virgin.”
“Dottie! Damn, girl. Cold.”
Arrie grins at me, but she must sense my discomfort because she links her arm with mine, and we walk out of the bathroom. Just before we reach the table where the boys are sitting way too close together, Arrie stops me and faces me.
“You are not getting out of this so easy, girly. Next week, on our girls’ night out, I want to know everything .”
I swallow hard and nod.
Smiling at me, Arrie yanks me along with her, and we sit down with the boys, but I suddenly feel jaded, and like I could use a good nights sleep in hopes that when I wake up, this nightmare is fucking over.
However, just as I’m about to voice exactly that, I get a feeling like spiders skittering all over my skin, and I glance up and lock eyes with Damon across the bar. He sits on a stool in a pair of faded, ripped blue jeans, a white shirt and an unreadable expression on his face.
I feel hot. Really fucking hot.
Grabbing the margarita that’s waiting for me, I scull the contents with my eyes on Damon, my nipples hardening under the thin black dress I have on. I can see his smirk from here.
Fuck. Him.
Moving my hand to my face, I pretend to move a strand of my hair, when in reality I am giving him the bird. Asshole. I quickly turn away from him, not wanting to see his reaction, only to find Arrie lip-locked with Adam, Connor sitting between them.
This is not what I signed up for.
I get up and hightail it out of the bar, flagging down an Uber to The Melrose.
As soon as the car begins to move, so does my damn head. I feel sick, but it’s more from lying and keeping secrets, than it is from the alcohol. Resting my head on the headrest, images play on repeat in my mind from my night with Damon.
Why is it, that when I finally decided to give up my V card, it had to be with someone that was unavailable, un-fucking-reachable. With the one person I can’t have, but also with the potential of hurting the only person in the world I care about in the process.
Rubbing at my sternum, I force myself to breathe and stay in the moment. What’s done is done. I can’t go back and change shit, but the sad thing is, I wouldn’t even if I could.
Qué Será, Será
What will be, will be.
I must have dozed off, because before I know it, I’m jolted awake as the car is slowing. Opening my eyes, I look around and find we are pulling into the parking lot of The Melrose. I pay the driver the fare and give him a tip, before exiting the car and heading toward my room.
Pulling the keys from my bag, I push it in the lock and turn, and just as the door opens, I’m shoved inside with a hand over my mouth and panic setting in. I start thrashing around, throwing my arms and weight around, but then a scent wafts up, and I freeze.
“That’s right, Blossom, the Tin Man has come to claim what’s his, and you’re going to be a good girl for me and get on your knees, aren’t you?”