Chapter 11
MINNIE
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Mum asks in the car, looking ever the model in a rented floor-length gown and her most glittering jewellery.
‘Talk about what?’ I ask, trying to sound like I don’t have a care in the world and can’t imagine what could she be referring to because I’m totally fine.
She slides me a pointed look. ‘You know exactly what. Brian O’Connell’s a tosser. Always has been.’
I itch my ear. ‘It was just… passionate discussion. That’s what TV’s like.’
‘It looked like bullying to me.’
‘You don’t understand, we’re encouraged to back-and-forth.’ If I were Pinocchio, my nose would be tickling the driver’s ear right now.
‘Well I don’t like it.’
That makes two of us, but obviously I can’t tell her that.
Greg gave me a giant bollocking after we wrapped the qualifying show earlier.
Brian’s the expert; I misunderstood my research.
Our viewers know far more about the sport than I assumed and they like feeling on Brian’s level.
I should stick to what I’m good at: bantering with the drivers.
After all, I’m accessing people Brian and Krunal can’t even access and blah blah blah.
‘It’s fine,’ I say with a hard full stop.
Mum has only just made peace with me having this job.
Mere hours ago, she said she was proud of me.
I haven’t done anything to be worthy of her pride in a long time.
Sure, I’ve shared selected small niggles with her – the teams aren’t engaging with me, the coffee in the media centre’s revolting – but big cracks?
Brian thinks I’m a moron; my bosses hired me for sex appeal; I’ll probably never make it as a serious F1 journalist; my big sparkly career change is a dud. It’s impossible. I just can’t.
Say I quit, what would I do with my life? It’d be like last year all over again. Lying in bed, watching reality TV, wearing holey sweatpants, eating M your dad’s like that; étienne’s dad’s worse now he’s a team principal. They’re narcissists. I’m surprised Brian even knows your name.’
Fair point. ‘I wish it was just Brian; it’s my whole team. My bosses. My producer.’
He chews thoughtfully and swallows. ‘How do you want your role to look?’
‘I want to prove myself as a serious presenter. Sure, I love chatting to you guys, but I also want to discuss races and have my opinion taken seriously.’
‘That doesn’t sound unreasonable.’
‘I don’t think so either.’ I move the asparagus around my plate. ‘I had this stupid idea that I could even improve the show. Make it more accessible to a larger number of people.’
He eyes me carefully as he picks up his water. ‘Have you checked social media?’
‘Yes,’ I sigh. ‘Everyone’s been really supportive, and it almost makes it worse. All my friends from home are keen beans with the race car emoji.’
‘No, I mean outside of your private accounts. The Channel 3 platforms.’
‘Of course not. Social media’s a hellhole full of trolls.’
‘Can be, but it can also show what people are thinking. Last year, when our car wasn’t performing and quali was miserable and team morale was at an all-time-low, I looked to my Instagram comments.
Sure, there were trolls, but they were just talking ignorant shit.
There were also so many people whose parents and grandparents were Ackland fans, and their first word was “car”, and their blood ran green.
They knew we were trying as hard as we could, and they had faith we’d be champions again.
Sometimes you need to lift your head above the… barrier? What’s that phrase?’
I smile. ‘Parapet.’
‘Really? I’d never have got that.’
When I go to the toilet, I do poke my head above the parapet. The gasp that escapes me echoes through the humongous, marbled bathroom. Under today’s photo of Brian and me on the Channel 3 F1 Show’s Instagram are two thousand comments.
Two.
Thousand.
Before I can convince myself they’re tearing me limb from limb, I click to read more.
danturnballdeveloper:
‘@BrianOConnell legenddddd’
mugshot217:
‘Like this chick. Great legs’
tommy.shehan.pagari.fan:
‘FINALLY @channel3f1 have some sexy eye candy’
mrs_jameson:
‘What the hell are @channel3f1 doing sticking some clueless nepo baby on their show. She knows nothing about F1. Bet she’s sleeping with the drivers too. Gold digger’
My one bite of asparagus is crawling up my throat when comments further down catch my eye.
@cassieelizabethsmyth:
‘MYSOGENISTIC PRICK! Let the woman speak!’
@hilarythehomeopath:
‘Hilarious interview with @EtienneBlanchetOfficiel. Had me in stitches! Minnie’s so great at putting the drivers at ease and showing their personalities’
@maddiemartinellif1:
‘get lost brian and take your double chin with you’
@davidmyers64:
‘Not cool @channel3f1. It’s not fun seeing one of your presenters being so disrespectful to a colleague. You need to bring him in line and make space for your whole team’
@kpopgirlyforever:
‘LOVE how #minnieroberts breaks down the technical stuff. I’ve learnt so much since she’s started. Great trousers too’
I don’t realise I’m crying until a droplet plops on my screen.
They like me.
They understand what I’m trying to do.
They see that Brian’s a bully.
I switch over to X, fully aware it’s swimming with even more keyboard warriors and I’ll probably reverse all the ground I’ve made, but I can’t help myself.
#C3F1Qualifying is trending.
@ryanator1131:
‘LMAO this passes for f1 commentary @channel3f1. bunch of toddlers squabbling. i’m watching the race tomorrow on sky #C3F1Qualifying’
@samiiieeef1:
‘Love to see #minnieroberts sticking up for herself against the sexism poisoning F1. Doing it for the girlies! #C3F1Qualifying’
@MV1CE:
‘Lord please take away all of @AcklandMotorsport’s pain, double it, and give it to Brian O’Connell #MiamiGP #C3F1Qualifying’
@futuremrsbowden:
‘Can’t believe @channel3f1 are still using #brianoconnell. He thinks he’s too good for TV. Thank god for @KrunalBakshiTV and #minnieroberts #C3F1Qualifying’
I feel ten stone lighter. Validation is pouring thick and fast from everywhere I look. I know only a small number of viewers would take to social media to air their opinions, and many of them do love Brian, but this is enough evidence to start a discussion and bargain for what I want.
Does Greg analyse social media learnings? How about anyone at the London office? Do they already know this? Or is Brian’s hold on them so tight they can’t do anything? That’s an issue for another day.
I flush the empty toilet, clean up my face and rejoin the dinner party with heaps more pep than I came in with. I have a good feeling about Imola. A really good feeling.