Chapter 54
MINNIE
SURREY, ENGLAND
‘Shut up! It’s the love fern bit,’ Mum says, throwing a fistful of popcorn at me.
I’m quiet for approximately five seconds. ‘Kate Hudson really reminds me of you in this movie.’
That earns me her full attention. ‘You take that back! She’s psycho.’
‘No she’s not, she’s cunning. And hilarious. And ballsy.’
‘She just blew her boyfriend’s nose in front of his friends.’
‘But she’s not really like that, she’s pretending. I can imagine you doing that if it was a means to an end.’
She ignores me and looks back at the screen, crossly shovelling popcorn in her mouth. ‘Are you going to yap through the whole of my choice? I didn’t talk through Bride Wars.’
‘That’s because Bride Wars—’
The doorbell rings, followed by an explosion of barking.
I turn to Mum accusingly. ‘Did you order from that French deli again?’
‘No!’ she retorts, pausing the TV.
‘They’re the only ones who deliver past nine on a weeknight. They’re really expensive.’ I get up. ‘We’ve talked about this – their Comte Prestige is not worth it.’
‘I didn’t!’ She looks close to laughing, meaning she absolutely did.
Saying that, as I walk to the door, careful not to release the floofs, I could murder some Comte grated into paper-thin slices and served with—
My stomach bottoms out as I open the front door. ‘Jack?’
He’s really here.
At my house.
He looks better than I remember, all wrapped in a thick black coat, scarf tucked under his chin, hair tousled by the icy wind. I’ve never seen him dressed for winter and he looks dapper as hell. How dare he look this good when I’m in jogging bottoms and covered in popcorn.
In fact, how dare he period. Hide me like he’s ashamed of me for months, make me fall in love with him, stomp all over my heart, and now show up to my house uninvited expecting me to— I don’t actually know what he wants, but I don’t want to hear it.
‘Hi,’ he replies. It’s more vapour than sound, and I will my knees not to buckle. Traitorous knees. We don’t love him anymore.
‘How do you know where I live?’
He opens his mouth but the reply comes from the living room. ‘I told him! For god’s sake talk it out. I can’t take Mopey Minnie any longer.’
Mum did this? I don’t know how I feel about that. No, wait, I do. She’s a traitor too. How humiliating, my own mother summoning my ex—whatever he is. Was. I don’t know anything anymore.
‘I have a speech,’ he says, ‘like the one in Just Friends.’
‘Well, Ryan Reynolds got pied, so—’ I make to shut the door when his hand juts out and holds it open. He’s infuriatingly strong.
‘Minnie, stop being a cow!’ shouts Mum even though she can’t see.
Jack leaves his hand on the door while he rushes to say, ‘The only person I’ve ever said “I love you” to is physically incapable of saying it back.’
I drop my hands. What?
‘I didn’t grow up in a loving household,’ he goes on, ‘and I’ve always associated love with struggle and pain. Then you came along. The feelings I have for you petrified me – they still do – but I want this. I want you. And I… I love you, Minnie Roberts.’
My heart’s doing somersaults. My eyes are prickling. He’s saying all the right things, and there’s nothing I want more than to throw my arms around him and surrender to the possibility of us.
But what if I fall for his newfound bravery only to have him freak out next week and dump me again? Get a taste of what we could be only for it to be snatched away? It’ll destroy me even worse than Las Vegas did. I’ll need more than Alanis and Toni to save me.
‘You have some gall,’ I retort. ‘You forced me to fall in love with you – I didn’t want to, it was against my will – and then you par me in a foreign country after I pour my heart out to you, and you think you can just come here—’
‘Oh Minnie, get off your high horse!’ Mum calls.
‘No, you’re right,’ says Jack. ‘It took a long time to earn your trust and I wrecked it. But I’m willing to do whatever it takes to win it back.’
‘Words, Jack, these are just words.’
He rubs the back of his head. ‘I want to court you. I want to hold your hand. I want to buy you dinner – not a takeaway, a real dinner in a real restaurant, with fancy knives and forks and specials and shit. And I want you to meet my brother. And I want to go for boozy brunch with your friends because that’s all they seem to do. ’
A small laugh bubbles up but I manage to stifle it.
‘I want to do everything with you,’ he says. ‘I don’t care where it is or why, I just need to be next to you.’
He steps up the porch stairs and I falter back. My resistance will vanish if he gets too close. God I’ve missed him. I’ve missed him so much my bones ache. And now he’s here, standing in front of me, a strange magnetism is wrenching me towards him. It’s messing with my head.
‘I know you’re scared, and I’m scared too,’ he continues, taking another step. This time I don’t move. ‘But I think… I think I’ve been made to love you, and I think I could be good at it.’
He’s so freaking cute. What am I supposed to do? I don’t want my heart to get broken again, but…
He takes the final step and we’re on the same level, barely a foot apart.
I can smell his deliciously familiar scent.
I can see the exhaustion around his eyes.
I can catch the rawness at the base of his nose.
He’s been hurting as much as I have. I don’t know why but the idea surprises as much as it softens me.
‘If you’ll have me,’ he whispers from beneath his lashes.
Oh hell. I grab his coat and crush my face to his.
His arms immediately wrap around my waist and pull me against him.
We fit back together like puzzle pieces.
He tastes like him – and a touch like salty plane snacks.
His hair cascades through my fingers as I part my lips and his tongue claims me.
I love this boy. I love him with everything I have.
‘Please go easy on me,’ he breathes against my lips, his cold thumb tracing along my cheekbone. ‘You don’t know the power you have. I’ll let you do anything you want to me, and it’s terrifying.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,’ I promise, and kiss him again.
The moment’s disturbed by frantic paws pounding against the hall’s wooden floor.
‘Alright, love birds,’ says Mum, sounding right behind me.
Jack’s almost knocked back down the stairs by a tide of black, brown and white.
‘You’re not scared of dogs, are you?’ she says, half-joking.
The answer’s obvious. Jack’s crouching, trying to distribute pats and ear scratches evenly between them. He’ll learn that’s not possible. Coco loves being the centre of attention.
‘You weren’t kidding, you really do have six dogs,’ he says through a broad grin.
Mum cups her mug of tea to her chest and leans against the doorframe. ‘We have twelve at the moment.’
He glances up with incredulous eyes, until Coco almost head-butts him with an overambitious jump. ‘Which one’s Maple?’ he asks.
‘The brown one sniffing you suspiciously,’ I say.
‘She’ll come around,’ adds Mum. ‘She’s a protective she-bear but she’s soft really.’
‘Sounds like someone else I know,’ I mutter, and she elbows me lightly.
‘Who’s this old girl?’ Jack strokes the top of Maggie’s head.
‘Dame Mags,’ Mum and I answer in unison.
‘She’s Mum’s favourite, named after Maggie Smith,’ I explain, folding my arms tighter to stave off the chill.
‘She’s the first dog I got – a puppy from my grandmother’s litter,’ Mum chimes in. ‘She’s blind now, bless her, and her back legs are going, but she’ll always be my special lady.’
Maple may be sceptical but Maggie’s certainly not – her bottom’s wiggling contentedly. What a flirt.
‘Do you want to cuddle some puppies?’ Mum asks.
Jack straightens up. ‘The answer’s always yes.’
Mum laughs. ‘Come in then. I hope you like being around women because there’s eight of us in this house – and more with the pups.’
‘I think I can manage that,’ he says, wiping his boots on the doormat.
As we head to the dining room, Jack’s hand trails down my arm and captures my hand.