Chapter 7 #2
I grip his shoulders and toss my head back, rocking my hips in rhythm with him.
He’s so strong and fervent, so hard and unyielding.
It feels like we’re beasts, savage and untamed and letting our instincts take over.
My mind goes blank, just feeling him inside me and hearing our shared grunts and breaths.
I don’t want it to ever stop. I want him to own me.
My eyes are squeezed shut as I revel in the feel of his hard cock pounding into me like waves crashing onto the shore.
I feel him in the deepest parts of me, touching more intimately than I’ve been touched in an achingly long time.
Suddenly a surge of emotion washes over me, and I find myself fighting back tears.
I pull him into my chest so he won’t see.
“Tell me. How it feels,” I order him breathily, desperate for more. More connection.
“You feel amazing, Chelsea,” he gasps. “I’m not sure how long I can—” He cuts off with a grunt, breathing into my shoulder as his fingers grip my hips tightly.
I wouldn’t mind if he kept going. But he’s been so sweet and taken good care of me. “It’s okay, baby. Go ahead and come,” I say, panting.
His muscles tense under my hands as a tremor rocks through him.
“Chelsea… Oh God, you feel so good, so good. So—” He breaks off in a shout, throwing his head back and arching himself up as he climaxes, continuing his frenzied thrusting.
Finally he stills, sweaty and shaking as he collapses over me, holding himself up on his arms but resting his head on my shoulder.
I press my eyes shut and focus on slow, deep breaths until I feel like I’m back under control.
We lie there together like that for a while, until he rolls off and out of me, still breathing heavily. He slings an arm over his face.
I sit up, pulling a throw blanket over my naked body. I laugh softly. “We didn’t even make it to the bed.”
Julian doesn’t respond, just sucks in a breath.
My stomach drops.
Oh no. Oh shit.
I can see only his mouth, pressed into a firm line. I kneel beside him, touching his arm gently. “Are you okay? Oh God, Julian, what have I done to you?”
He lets me pull his arm away from his face, which is red and shiny. His eyes are glistening and fixed on me with so much emotion it takes my breath away.
I try to stay calm, but inside, I am absolutely losing my shit. I didn’t want him to get hurt. What the fuck have I done? He’s a mess. I did this; it’s my fault. I swallow against the huge lump in my throat, my own eyes starting to fill up.
He sees my reaction and grabs my arms, sitting up and pulling me toward him. “Hey, I’m okay,” he says, his voice raw. “I’m just emotional.”
He wraps his arms around me, and I resist him, but he won’t loosen his grip. So I give up and rest my head on his chest.
I can hear his heart thumping heavily. My mind is racing, but I’m trying to keep it together for his sake. After a few minutes, I pull back and peek at his face again. He seems much more normal, but I’m still wary.
“What was that? Are you actually okay?” I ask, terrified of the answer.
He lets me pull away enough that we are face-to-face again, grasps both my hands in his, and holds them against his chest. “I promise I’m okay.
” His regular zen-like calm has returned.
“That was just… the most amazing—” He swallows thickly.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever experience anything like that again in my life.
” He gazes at me with a face that makes me want to both kiss him and run away from him at once. “You are incredible.”
“Thank you,” I say softly. I rise on my knees and examine him slowly, searching his eyes. “Promise me I didn’t… that you’re not…”
“I’m strong, Chelsea. I promise. Please don’t look so worried.”
I bite my lip, trying to decide whether I believe him. He brushes a stray tear from my cheek.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
His brows pull together. “Please don’t regret this, okay? Don’t wish it hadn’t happened or regret it. I’ll never forget tonight. I’ll never be the same, and I’m thankful. Don’t you dare be sorry.” His voice is firm, almost… angry.
The strength I hear in it is reassuring, though, and it makes my nerves settle a bit. “All right.”
“All right?” His eyes are intense.
“Yes, okay. I believe you.”
“Good.” A sly grin creeps over his face. “So, about tomorrow night…”
I take a sharp breath. “No, Julian. Absolutely not. We had an agreement.”
“Okay, okay.” He holds his hands up. “Just thought I’d ask.”
“Only once. And no spending the night. Like we talked about.” I sound much more resigned than I feel.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I give him a sharp look, but he just winks at me.
After a while, once we’ve put our clothes back on and cooled down, I walk him to the door, still unsure about where he is. He hugs me and kisses my lips gently, meeting my eyes with a sweet smile as he lets go.
“I—” He swallows uncertainly. “About earlier. I just have a lot of… pressure on me. My friends, my family—they all expect me to be a certain way. I’m the oldest, and my parents and grandma are so proud, but I have to live up to what they expect, you know?
” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve gotta go to school, earn my soccer scholarship by kicking ass on the field and keeping my grades up.
Make something of myself, become a strong, successful man. ”
I study him, taking his hand. He twines his fingers with mine and smiles softly down at them.
“Which I definitely intend to do. But here, with you, I just felt…” He huffs a small laugh, and I can tell he feels vulnerable sharing this with me.
“Safe. Like I could just be me and not worry about anything. It was such a relief, such a weight off. And that’s why I got all choked up.
So… thank you.” When his eyes meet mine again, a pang hits my chest at the sight of so much depth in them.
I squeeze his hands. “I love that I could be that for you.”
“I love it too.”
Suddenly, saying goodbye feels so hard, and I really don’t want him to go. Not yet. I’m about to say this when he releases my hands, leans in, and pinches my chin before kissing my lips softly.
His eyes are twinkling. “Goodnight, Chelsea.”
I narrow my eyes at him. Oh, that was so not a final goodbye. He is most definitely planning to come back here.
I’ll just have to see what I can do about that.