Chapter 14
Harper
I lean against the door, my heart doing a frantic tap dance against my ribs. My cheeks are hot with anger that feels good, righteous.
Who the hell does he think he is?
Cole’s words replay in my head.
I don’t like other men hitting on you.
He doesn’t get to say that. He doesn’t get to look at me with that stormy, jealous intensity after a dinner where he barely said two words to me.
Jack and Tyler are friends. Brett’s teammates. Their flirting is harmless, and Cole’s reaction was arrogant and Neanderthal.
My anger begins to cool, curdling into something more complicated. I replay the evening again, but this time, I try to see it through his eyes. Me, laughing at Tyler’s stupid jokes. Me, leaning in to Jack.
From across the table, it might have looked like more.
A cold trickle of realization drips down my spine. My fury wasn’t just about his possessiveness. It was a shield. The second he demanded a claim he had no right to, I panicked. Because a claim means a definition.
Cole is asking me to commit to something I don’t understand, and it terrifies me.
His raw, unguarded jealousy wasn’t about control. It was about want. It was the same look he had right before he kissed me on the balcony. It was the same intensity he poured into me last night.
And I threw it back in his face because I’m scared.
The fight drains out of me, leaving me hollow and ashamed. I’m a hypocrite. I want his attention, but the second it becomes real, with real stakes, I push him away. I overthink it into oblivion.
Ariel’s voice rings in my head. You build walls so high that most people can’t even find the door.
I won’t do it this time. I won’t run away,
Before I can talk myself out of it, I'm opening my door and padding down the hallway. I raise my hand to knock on Cole’s door, then stop. What if he doesn't want to see me? What if I've pushed him too far?
The door opens before I can decide, and Cole is standing there in just a pair of shorts. “I was just coming to find you.”
“We need to talk,” I say at the same time.
He steps aside to let me into his room. “I'm sorry,” I say before he can speak. “You were right to be upset. I was being defensive.”
He sits on the edge of his bed, and I take the chair by his window. “I don't know how to do this, Harper. I've never wanted someone the way I want you.”
The honesty in his voice makes my chest tight. “I'm scared,” I admit. “I don't know what you want from this. From me.”
“I don't know either,” he says, and somehow that's exactly what I need to hear. “All I know is that I can't stand the thought of other men touching you.”
I look down at my hands. “I like it when things are defined. I'm a planner, Cole. I need to know where I stand.”
“I can't put this in a box, Harper. All I know is I'm not interested in anyone else, and I don't want you to be either. Can we start there? Keep it private, take it slow, and see what develops?” he says in a ravaged tone.
It sounds terrifyingly simple. “And at work?”
“Professional. Completely professional.” His eyes meet mine. “But here? You're mine, Harper. And I'm yours.”
The possessiveness in his voice should scare me. Instead, it sends heat spiraling through me. “Okay,” I say.
“Okay?” He smiles, transforming his entire face. I can’t believe that this hot, intense, complicated man is mine. For now. “Now come here. You’re too far.”
I stand up from the chair and, with unsteady legs, I cross the small space between us. Cole reaches for me the moment I'm within arm's length, pulling me down onto his lap.
I straddle him, the material of his shorts a thin barrier between my core and the thick ridge of his cock. Cupping his face, I align my mouth against his and slip my tongue in.
Cole groans against my mouth, a raw, hungry sound that vibrates straight through me. His hands drop from my waist to my hips, his fingers pressing into my skin as he grinds me down against his length. A sharp, desperate moan tears out of my throat at the friction.
Breaking the kiss, he fists his hands in the hem of my nightshirt. In one swift motion, he pulls it up and over my head, tossing it aside. The cool air hits my skin, but it's nothing compared to the heat of his gaze as it rakes over my bare breasts.
One arm bands around my back, holding me close, as he dips his head and takes a nipple into his mouth.
I cry out, my head falling back as a bolt of pure pleasure arcs from my nipple through my body, heat pooling low in my belly. His tongue is hot and wet, licking and sucking until I’m writhing on his lap, my fingers tangled in his hair.
He switches to my other breast, giving it the same attention, his teeth grazing lightly, making me whimper with need. We’re a tangle of desperate movements and ragged breaths, and the world beyond his lap, beyond this room, ceases to exist.
But it’s not enough. I want more. I want all of him.
I push myself off his lap and stand on trembling legs before him. I suppress a shiver as his steel blue eyes rake over me. I hook my thumbs into the waistband of my sleep shorts and panties and push them down my legs, kicking them aside.
Then I do the same to him, pushing his shorts and boxer briefs down until he can kick them free. He’s magnificent, fully aroused, and all for me.
Instead of facing him, I turn around, presenting him with my back.
He lets out a sharp intake of breath. “Jesus, Harper. This view is going to kill me. So fucking perfect. I'm going to remember you like this every time I close my eyes.”
Laughing softly, I lower myself slowly, guiding myself onto him, sinking down onto his length with a gasp as he fills me completely.
His hands immediately find my waist. “Fuck, Harper,” he grunts, his voice strained. “You feel so goddamn perfect.”
I begin to move, rocking back and forth, setting a slow, deep rhythm. His hands slide up from my waist to my breasts. He palms them, his thumbs circling my nipples until I’m moaning, hit by sensations from all angles.
“That’s it, baby,” Cole murmurs in my ear. “Ride my cock. Make yourself feel good.”
His dirty talk sends sparks of electricity straight to my core. I move faster, my own hands using his thighs as leverage, pushing down to meet his upward thrusts.
“I can feel you getting tighter. You going to come for me?” he growls, his breath coming in ragged pants.
“Yes,” I gasp, the orgasm tantalizingly close.
His grip on my hips tightens. “I’ve got you.”
He takes over then, lifting me up and slamming me back down onto him, setting a punishing, perfect rhythm.
The orgasm crashes through me, and I scream his name as my body convulses and my vision blurs.
Cole moves me up and down fast as he jackhammers towards his release. “Fuck, yes,” he growls, his voice a raw, shattered rasp against my neck.
For a long moment, we don’t move, slumped together in a sweaty, sated heap. The reality of what we just did slowly filters through my haze of pleasure.
“Cole,” I say, my voice shaky. “We didn’t use protection.” I’ve never done that before, but I’m not as frightened as I should be. I don’t imagine that Cole is the kind of person who is careless about his safety.
“I know,” he says, his arms still wrapped around me. He presses a kiss to my shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone in… Christ, almost a year.”
I twist to look at him over my shoulder, a teasing smile on my lips. “A year? You? Captain of the New York Renegades? I find that hard to believe.”
He swats my hip. “I’ve been focusing on hockey. But yeah. I’m clean. I get tested regularly.”
His honesty makes me serious. “I’m clean too. And I’m on birth control. It’s been almost two years for me.”
Now it’s his turn to look surprised. He raises an eyebrow. “Two years? A woman who looks like you?”
I laugh. “Focusing on my business. Now we’re even.”
Pushing me up to my feet, Cole takes my hand and leads the way to his massive shower. He proceeds to soap me down as the hot water cascades over us. I’m getting used to taking a shower with Cole.
“So,” I say, leaning back against his chest as his soapy hands slide around to my stomach. “The season opener is on Thursday. Are you nervous?”
“I’m always nervous before any game. You spend all preseason preparing, but you never really know how it will go until you’re out there for real.”
I turn in his arms to face him. Water streams down his face, and I wipe it from his eyes. “It will be awesome. You’ve worked hard for it. And the Renegades have a new fan.”
He wags a finger at me. “Don’t let Brett hear you say that.”
I laugh. “My lips are sealed.”
We talk about the Renegades' chances for making the playoffs this year as we finish showering. When we’re done, we wrap each other in towels and head back to Cole’s room.
Standing in his room, I'm suddenly uncertain. We've talked about taking it slow, about seeing where this goes. But what does that mean for tonight? My feet seem rooted to his floor, torn between the safety of my own room and the terrifying intimacy of staying in his.