Chapter Ten
Sienna was mortified.
She wasn’t sure about exactly what, at least not yet.
But her body clearly knew. Her mouth tasted like she’d gargled pennies.
Her skull felt like it had survived a war.
And her body ached in the same way it had after her first half Iron Man years ago.
Except she hadn’t run last night. Or swum. At least not that she could remember.
She rolled over in bed and clutched the pillow to her chest. She inhaled deeply, hoping a little oxygen was all she needed to get over this, but before she could even exhale, the memories came back.
Though not all at once. They arrived in waves.
First came the taste of the sunrise jackal, the popular tequila cocktail with a hint of orange liqueur and grenadine.
Then came Vivian, politely leading her back to her tent.
Why had she done that? Sienna couldn’t quite remember the interaction.
She also couldn’t quite remember if she’d invited Vivian into her tent or if the host had just dropped her off before—
Fuck!
Sienna saw herself, like an out-of-body experience.
Or worse, a highlight reel from her Instagram feed she didn’t remember filming.
Sienna walking to her bed, listening for footsteps, thrilled when she heard Vivian follow and the door click shut behind her.
Sienna dropping her dress to the floor when Vivian’s back was turned.
The surprise on Vivian’s face when Sienna, completely naked, lunged for her and crashed her mouth against the host’s.
“Fuck!” Sienna screamed into her pillow. “I tried to climb her like a jungle gym.”
She sat up so fast the tent spun around her like she was on a merry-go-round.
She could still feel Vivian, the press of her palm against Sienna’s bare skin.
And then, like salt in her already painful wound, she remembered how Vivian had pulled back, and had looked every bit as regretful as Sienna should have felt if only she’d been in her right mind.
“What the hell did I—”
Her words were cut off by a knock on the door.
Sienna froze. Completely. Even her heartbeat seemed to stop.
For one horrifying second, she imagined Elise standing on the other side of the door, arms crossed, expression somewhere between disgust and amusement, ready to tell her she’d been officially fired.
If that was even possible. Could The Sapphic Match fire their star?
Maybe. Probably. It wasn’t like they were very far into the show.
They could fly out another bachelorette tomorrow.
“It’s Charles,” the voice said instead. “Elise asked me to let you know about today’s itinerary.”
Itinerary. Shit.
Sienna swung her legs off the bed and winced.
Her head throbbed. Her skull felt like it had become a drum that someone was testing for sound quality.
She found her robe behind the bathroom door, threw it over her naked body, and then it hit her.
Vivian had walked her to her bed last night.
She’d pulled back the covers. Guided Sienna in gently, like she was tucking in a very drunk teenager instead of a fully grown adult who’d just tried to seduce her.
She’d said something. What was it? Something soft.
Something devastatingly kind. And then she’d left.
Sienna pressed a hand over her eyes. Not only did she not want to see her own reflection in the mirror, but she also didn’t deserve to see at all. Not after what she had done. Eyes were for people who didn’t behave like complete and total idiots.
There was another knock. “Everything okay in there?” Charles called.
“I’m coming!” Sienna yelled, her voice cracking like a preteen boy’s. She pulled her robe tighter and headed for the door, which she threw open.
A young PA stood outside on the wooden pathway, smiling.
He had deep shadows under his eyes and ruffled sandy-blonde hair.
But when he said “morning,” it came out bright and sprightly, not at all exhausted like she’d expected.
Looking at him, Sienna couldn’t help thinking about how he hadn’t just ruined his entire life by trying to sleep with the host of The Sapphic Match.
Lucky him.
“The next date starts in an hour,” Charles said. “You’ll be heading out after breakfast for a bush picnic date by the watering hole.”
Sienna blinked against the bright sun. “Bush picnic?”
“By a watering hole,” he said. “It’s apparently very rustic.
They’ve set up a canopy under the acacias.
There’s a good chance you’ll see elephants bathing.
” He looked almost jealous, and for a moment Sienna wanted to convince him to dress in her clothing and take her place.
She needed a minute. Hell, she needed a few days, or years even until Vivian had completely forgotten all about last night.
If that was even possible. Which it probably wasn’t.
“Okay,” she managed to say. “I’ll be ready.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “Because I can get Fiona to come in if you need.” He gestured vaguely toward his own cheek. Sienna realized he meant that she probably looked like a horrible mess that needed help.
“I’m sure.” Then she slammed the door closed and headed for the shower. At least there her tears would blend in with the water running down her face.
An hour later, Sienna walked along the winding pathway toward the main lodge deck where she was set to meet the contestants joining her for today’s date.
The sun was already punishingly bright, stabbing rudely at her retinas.
The air smelled like wet earth and acacia sap, which made her stomach twist with nausea.
And somewhere in the distance a bird hooted, announcing her arrival.
Sienna spotted Lara first. She was tall, with a blonde braid slung over one shoulder. She wore a khaki romper and white Adidas Samba sneakers. She looked like a new-age Brooke Shields minus the Blue Lagoon tan.
“Morning, Sienna,” Lara said brightly, raising a stainless steel water bottle with the lodge’s logo branded into the side. “We were just saying how insane this view is.”
Marie stepped out from behind her. She was smaller and darker, with freckles on her nose and a floppy, dusty orange sunhat that matched perfectly with her linen overalls.
“There’s literally a giraffe over there,” she said, pointing toward the bushveld that Sienna had ignored on her entire walk up there. She’d been too busy hoping not to bump into Vivian.
“Oh really,” Sienna said, forcing a smile for the two cameras angled in her direction.
She followed Marie’s pointed finger, and sure enough, there was a giraffe.
It was standing halfway between a marula tree and a large termite mound.
Its eyelids drooped lazily, and its spotted coat glowed honey-gold in the early light.
Its tail flicked invisible flies. “He’s gorgeous,” she added, putting on her most polished voice.
“We really are lucky to be here, aren’t we? ”
Both Marie and Lara agreed.
Elise appeared out of nowhere. She strode across the deck, holding an iPad that she checked twice before she acknowledged them.
“Okay, ladies,” she said. “You’ll be heading out for a picnic this morning at the watering hole.
It’s one of the lodge’s more famous ones, but your guide will tell you all about that on your way there. ”
She met Sienna’s eyes for just a second too long, and Sienna found herself wondering if Elise knew. Had Vivian told her all about last night in excruciating detail? Or was it just her own guilt manifesting and bubbling under her skin?
“Vivian was going to join us for the first segment,” Elise went on. “But she seems to have come down with a headache, so you’ll be heading out without her.”
Sienna’s heart sank to her stomach. Vivian had a headache. Or more like Sienna was the headache Vivian didn’t want to face. She suddenly felt sick. Not that she had anyone to blame but herself, and whoever thought sunrise jackal was a good idea.
“You ready?” Marie asked, walking toward her.
“Of course,” Sienna lied, her voice sunny and camera-friendly. Whoever was watching would never know that she had tried to grope Vivian’s boobs just the night before. “I’ve been looking forward to this all morning.”
Moments later, she was climbing into the back of a Land Cruiser.
The ride was both beautiful and punishing.
The wind whipped through her hair. Her eyes watered uncontrollably, which surprisingly hadn’t happened last time, and every bump in the dirt jolted her body so that her back smacked against the seat, rubbing right against her tender healing skin.
“The watering hole we’re going to is very special,” Themba called over his shoulder. “It’s called Inyoni Rest. The word inyoni means bird in isiZulu.”
Sienna, who was holding on to the side like her life depended on it, nodded as if she were absorbing this beautiful place instead of wondering if Vivian was going to meet them at the watering hole. Not that Sienna expected her to. It wasn’t like every date needed narration.
“It’s one of the oldest in the reserve,” Themba went on. “It’s fed by an underground spring, so even when droughts hit, there’s always water there.”
The Land Cruiser slowed just as the dense thicket of bush gave way to an open, sun-bleached clearing.
At the center of it was a glimmering pool of bronze-colored water.
Three elephants stood knee-deep in the shallows, spraying their flanks lazily.
A family of impalas lingered in the shade nearby, and a fish eagle sat on a branch that was sticking out of the water.
Themba parked beside a wide marula tree where the crew was already set up and ready.
Under the shade of the tree was a cream canvas canopy that housed a low wooden table sitting on top of a thick hand-woven reed mat.
Cushions in cream and dusty rose were scattered around it, and on the table was a spread that made Sienna’s mouth water.
The ride over had seemed to cure her hangover and she couldn’t wait to dive into the roasted vegetable skewers, the grilled pork chop drizzled with honey, the half-moon-shaped spinach and feta pies, and what looked like delicious bread perfectly dense for the assortment of spreads.
“Wow,” Carla said, accidentally kicking up a mini storm of sand as they approached the tent. She flipped her head back to Sienna and said, “Thanks for choosing us.”
Sienna hadn’t chosen her. The producers had.
Which, truthfully, felt a little strange because shouldn’t she be the one deciding who she wanted to date?
She made a mental note to ask Elise when they got back, but for now, she wasn’t going to burst Carla’s bubble.
“You’re welcome,” she said. “I’m excited to get to know you better. ”
Carla beamed. Then they both followed Marie, who was already settling onto the cushions. Sienna did the same. Carla too. A PA appeared like a mirage to pour sparkling water into glasses. She thanked him and then crossed her legs.
For a minute, no one said anything.
Sienna could feel Carla and Marie watching her, both a little tentative, and she knew why. She’d disappeared halfway through the party last night. She hadn’t even said goodbye.
“So,” Sienna said, resting her elbows on her knees.
“I need to apologize to you both, and every other amazing woman who is out here for me.” She also had to apologize to Vivian, whom she’d pounced on like a cat.
Though honestly, no amount of apologizing—not even groveling on her hands and knees—could ever make up for that.
Carla placed her glass down beside her. Marie paused mid-bite of pork chop.
“It turns out that consuming copious amounts of alcohol is not recommended,” she said, embracing the heat in her cheeks.
“And believe me when I say I didn’t plan on drinking sunrise jackals like they were orange-flavored Gatorade.
” She truly hadn’t. After the first glass of champagne and the conversation with Vivian, when she said she was a lesbian, it had all just gone downhill from there.
“I think it’s safe to say I’ll be retiring from alcohol indefinitely. ”
Carla laughed. “Don’t feel bad. We’ve all been there.”
“I agree,” Marie added. “If you want, I can recount several occasions where I got blackout drunk. That was before I had kids,” she quickly added. “Now, I get my satisfaction from eating the chocolates I hide from them when they go to bed.”
“You’d think having kids would lead you to drink,” Carla added.
Marie seemed to consider this and nodded.
“You have no idea. Last month my six-year-old twins decided to fill the swimming pool with dirt and plants, because apparently, they wanted a swimming pond like a kid in their class.” She then gave an embarrassed laugh.
“I promise my children aren’t delinquents. ”
“Well, you can’t say they don’t have initiative,” Carla said. Then she turned to Sienna and asked, “Do you want kids one day?”
The question was so sudden, so blindingly straightforward, and about something Sienna had never actually let herself think about that she almost choked on her fizzy water. Thank goodness, Themba was walking toward them with his hand raised.
“Ladies, look there,” he said, pointing toward the watering hole.
They all turned at the same time.
Across the water, two more elephants were making their way down the slope.
One was enormous, wrinkled, and had ears like great sails.
The other was tiny. Barely up to her knee, with adorable flapping ears and a trunk that flailed clumsily.
It was as if it’d gotten it just that morning.
The baby stumbled over a rock, righted itself, and hurried to catch up.
All three gasped.
And then the elephant calf splashed into the shallow waters, and Sienna forgot all about last night. “Look at its tiny trunk!”