Chapter Twenty-One
Vivian had always had a pretty good idea of how her life was going to go.
A set plan for her future, as one would say.
Yes, she’d had a few hiccups along the way.
She might not be a famous movie star like she’d dreamed, might not have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, might not have scored a romantic lead opposite Scarlett Johansson, but her job afforded her enough.
Enough to live in a sunlit Malibu penthouse apartment with large windows and a view of the ocean that made her feel like she was on permanent vacation.
Enough to holiday at least twice a year.
Santorini in spring, Kyoto in the fall. Enough to have a perfectly curated closet of silk blouses, Manolo Blahnik heels, a Hermès Birkin resting on a velvet chair in her walk-in closet, and a row of watches lined up on a leather tray. A Rolex, a Cartier, and an Omega.
Enough, frankly, to convince herself she was doing okay. More than okay.
But clearly, she wasn’t.
Not just because she’d fallen in love—and yes, she regarded that as the kind of rookie mistake which she had always thought she was too seasoned to make—but also because she had to watch the person she had fallen in love with go on dates with other women.
Which bordered on the masochistic. It felt so cruel, in fact, that her chest ached like a herd of buffalo had decided to go stampeding across it.
But it was her fault, wasn’t it? She hadn’t fought back. She’d succumbed to Elise’s request, or more like a threat, with her tail between her legs and her reputation on her mind. She’d chosen her job over Sienna, and now she had to suffer.
And suffer she did.
“I’ve always wanted to go on a hot-air balloon ride,” Fi said, leaning in close to dab concealer under Vivian’s left eye.
“It’s ridiculously romantic. Cindy said if a man ever took her up in one of those things, she’d be the first to propose.
Which is hilarious if you knew my sister’s resistance to tradition. ”
Vivian didn’t say anything.
To say something meant she had to think about Sienna’s date with Holly three days ago, and she’d done enough of that already.
At the time of filming, she’d bravely watched some of the footage of Holly and Sienna in the hot-air balloon at sunset.
The sky had been molten gold behind them while the savannah stretched endlessly below.
She’d walked out on the part when Holly had leaned in and kissed Sienna with her mouth open like a savage.
“I had a feeling they were going to kiss,” Fi went on, her brush tickling dangerously close to Vivian’s lash line.
“Since Brooke left, Holly and Sienna have all this chemistry. Cindy started a bet and even got some of the lodge’s staff members in on it.
She thinks the top two will be Holly and Nisha. You want in?”
“No, I don’t want in,” Vivian snapped. She cleared her throat and switched up her crossed legs.
This wasn’t the time nor the company for her to get emotional.
That was something best done alone and with a locked door, and a goose in her hands.
A bottle of Grey Goose, to be specific. Vivian had learned her lesson about leaving the door unlocked. Never again.
Fi wrinkled her nose but seemed too caught up in the drama she was spewing to care. “Fine,” she said, breezily. “More cash for us when we win. Sienna’s date with Nisha was fire yesterday. Who knew birdwatching could be so romantic?”
Vivian would’ve rolled her eyes if Fi wasn’t busy attacking her lashes with mascara. “It really isn’t,” she said dryly.
“Did you not see Sienna and Nisha yesterday?” Fi asked, stepping back to grab a different brush. “The way Nisha wrapped her arms around Sienna to show her how to hold the binoculars.”
“Sienna knows how to hold binoculars,” Vivian said a little too quickly.
Or at least she assumed she did. A person didn’t travel all over the world and not know how to hold a pair of binoculars.
But the fact was that it had looked that way when Nisha had spotted a bird somewhere up a tree and kept trying to get Sienna to see it, which was why she moved to stand behind Sienna.
It wasn’t romantic. It was instructional.
Except for the part where Nisha’s hand brushed Sienna’s hip.
But Vivian chose not to dwell on the details.
Fi shrugged. “Anyway, I think it was awfully romantic. Like a scene from a Nicholas Sparks movie. Minus the obvious tragedy. I’m just surprised they never kissed.
Who knows, they might tomorrow. I personally think Sienna’s going to pick her for the villa date now that Brooke and Marie have gone home. ”
Vivian didn’t need to be reminded about the villa date. The infamous overnight escape was where things got intense. No one really knew exactly what happened inside since camera crews weren’t allowed. But the rumors alone were enough to paint a pretty vivid image.
“I know they never got to it in the last two seasons,” Fi said. “You know, given everything that happened. But I do know that Christy from season three had sex with Ellen during the villa date. They did an entire interview on it. I’m sure you’ve seen it.”
She had. And it was the last thing she wanted to think about.
In fact, there was only so much more of this conversation Vivian could take.
Her skin felt hot. The collar of her shirt stuck uncomfortably to the back of her neck.
Fi’s perfume, a nauseating mix of vanilla and gardenia, clogged the air like smoke.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Vivian said, waving a hand in front of her face. “Out.”
Fi blinked. “What? I’m not—”
“Out,” Vivian repeated, standing up so abruptly from the chair that two makeup brushes toppled off the vanity.
“I need some time alone please. To rehearse.” It felt necessary to give an explanation despite it being completely false.
No. What she needed was to scream into her pillow, so she didn’t have to think about the villa date coming up.
Fi gave a little shrug and gathered her things. “You’re cranky today,” she said, sliding her makeup kit closed. “When was the last time you had sex? Maybe you need a date to let off some steam.” She waved a manicured hand vaguely in Vivian’s direction.
“Maybe you need boundaries,” Vivian muttered and ushered her toward the door.
Once Fi left, Vivian sank onto the edge of her bed and exhaled long and hard like she’d been holding her breath for an hour.
She pressed her palm firmly to her chest and willed her heart to slow down.
It didn’t. In fact, it sped up dangerously when she remembered she still had to host tonight’s stargazing date, and she had to do that while pretending she wasn’t dying a little inside.
Impossible. Especially when she had to watch Sienna lie beside Dani on a nest of blankets and cushions, their fingers interlaced as they gazed up at the far too bright and romantic Milky Way.
UGH!
Vivian couldn’t understand why she had to be there. But Elise insisted she deliver a line about love and the universe, which, to Vivian, felt less like a creative decision and more like a calculated act of cruelty.
At least she could catch Sienna’s eye, which was something she very much looked forward to considering they hadn’t seen each other all day.
Not even a quick glance across the lodge’s main deck, or one of those featherlight touches they’d been sneaking in the last few days, or a hushed whisper whenever they passed each other on the raised wooden pathways.
A chime sounded from her phone on the bedside table.
It was the first notification reminding her to get a move on.
Vivian sighed and crossed the room to silence the alarm.
Then she smoothed out her ivory silk blouse with its tiny pearl buttons, ran two fingers along the edges of her freshly painted lips—she’d gone for Rouge Dior 999—and slipped on her shoes.
By the time she reached the door, a sinking hole opened in her chest.