Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
ROSALIE
The smell of coffee was overpowering as I focused on my project. I lowkey hated group projects, and thankfully, my classmates felt the same, as we split it up and agreed to put it together. So, there I was in Rise and Caffeinate, drinking my usual Chai and struggling.
I struggled to focus on the task at hand; all I could think about was Derek and his lips.
Even before the kiss, he occupied a big portion in my mind, but now... holy shit. I think I was having an addiction. But the good kind. The kind that made you all giddy and made you feel mushy on the inside. I just wanted more.
We haven't seen each other much; he was busy with practice and the possibility of starting, and I was busy with my constantly twitching leg and the need to dance.
I woke up at the crack of dawn each morning to improv in the studio while it was empty before my workout, and after my group classes, I stayed behind to dance.
I was working out and dancing twice a day, which still wasn't even half the time when I was training, yet Daisy found it crazy how much I worked out.
Guess it was different perspectives.
"So, I think we are official," Daisy ended her monologue that I mostly fully missed as I daydreamed over my homework. I was good at multitasking, but not that good.
"I'm sorry?" I asked, closing my book and lifting my eyes up to meet hers. "Could you repeat?"
"I said," she smiled wider. "Jeremy asked me to be his girlfriend."
"Wait, do people do that?" I gaped. "Like the whole: will you be my girlfriend... isn't that just obvious? It just happens?"
Daisy furrowed her brows. "No. You don't assume you're in a relationship until you have the talk.”
"So if I go on several dates with a guy..." I started
"That's dating."
"But what if those dates include sex?"
Daisy shrugged. "That's hooking up."
"Hooking up is when there are no dates, no?" I was confused.
"Booty call or Dex," Daisy laughed. "Okay, that was mean. I haven't seen him with a girl in ages."
I did my best not to react to her comment. "I really think it only happens in movies."
"Well, not to be mean, but you don't actually know many things about having any sort of relationships."
I arched my brow. "Excuse me?"
"It's not a bad thing," Daisy rushed to save the conversation. "I'm just saying, you're kind of naive when it comes to relationships. Guys or girls."
"We're friends," I pointed out. "I'm friends with the girls from the team."
"How often do you text first?" Daisy fired back.
"Maybe sometimes?" I shrugged. "What is there now a text limit that needs to be reached in order to call someone a friend?"
"No, no," she rushed to say. "I'm just saying you aren't that good at maintaining and building them.
Sure, live it's all fine, but you're not a texter or caller.
I'm surprised you even use your phone. You're a great friend, but you lack basic conversation skills.
I still love you, it's just how you are. "
"Which is clearly wrong," I grimaced.
"That's not what I meant," Daisy shook her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to offend you."
"No, you didn't. It's good to know how you feel," I shrugged with an eyeroll. "I think I was nothing but a good friend, and yeah, maybe I don't text or call or post on any social media, but that's not the point of friendship in my opinion."
"I'm just saying that if you want any sort of relationship with anyone, sometimes you need to text them. Like you do with Derek."
I gaped at her, shocked. "Yeah, well, he doesn't criticize me for my texting habits."
"I wasn't criticizing, I was just pointing out that..."
"You made your point," I lifted my hand, stopping her from talking. "I have homework to finish, but I'm very happy for you and Jeremy."
"Come on, Rosie, don't be upset," she pouted.
"I'm not," I dismissed her coldly. "Just have a lot on my plate, and lucky for you, you live with me, so no need to text you later. I'll see you at the dorm."
"I'm sleeping over at Jeremy's, that's what I was gonna tell you,” she continued, pouting.
I stopped and stared. Daisy swore up and down she wasn't gonna hook up with him for months.
"Are you sure?" I asked carefully, not wanting to offend her, but enough to show concern.
"Yes," she nodded. "I want to take this step and move on finally."
"You shouldn't do it just to..."
Daisy stared at me. "Sorry, don't think you're qualified to give suggestions on the topic."
"Clearly," I scoffed. "I just hope you know what you're doing. I don't want to see you get hurt."
"Don't worry." She nodded, with a fake ass smile, before standing. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yep," I nodded, ducking my head back into my homework and notes, my mind spinning.
My phone's vibration startled me as I glanced at the screen.
Derek
That looked intense.
Looking around, my eyes landed on him sitting with Aaron, Oliver, and Maddox on the opposite end of the café with their drinks. I didn't even notice them coming in; that's how immersed we were in conversation.
He looked great in his blue Titan’s crewneck, which made his eyes pop, and simple jeans. He played with a baseball hat in his hands, and when his eyes met mine, he flipped it on his head and took his phone again.
Derek
I had to hold Aaron back from going over.
And myself.
A small smile tugged on my face.
Yeah, Daisy was in a mood to tell me I suck as a friend. But I think she is just stressed because she's about to have sex with Jeremy, and she is probably triggered. So she was being her meaner version.
I saw his eyes darken from afar and his fingers typed faster.
Derek
She sucks. You're a great friend.
I mean, she made some valid points that I'll take under advisement, but still... it sucked to be called out like that.
Derek
I'm sorry, Thorn.
I looked up at him across the café and flashed him a sad smile. His eyes were still on me, waiting for my attention as he returned a small smile.
The need to go over to him and curl into his arms, where everything was safe, was strong, but I remained seated on my chair and forced my eyes back onto my project.
My mind kept wandering about Dex staring at me, while Daisy's voice echoed in my mind. And the words in front of me blurred.
"Hey," a voice startled me, and I snapped up, staring at my brother. Annoyance washed over me, and I frowned.
"What's up?" I asked, flipping my book closed. "I was just leaving."
"You seemed upset," he stated the obvious.
I nodded. "Just got into a little fight with Daisy. Nothing major."
"Anything I can do?" he asked. Usually, I wasn't bothered by my brother's protectiveness. But at that moment, I wanted Derek to be the one comforting me, not my brother.
"Nope," I shook my head, and forced a smile. "Just girly things. It will blow over."
Aaron bobbed his head, his hands sinking into the pockets of his joggers. "All right, if you need anything."
"I'll let you know, big bro," I forced a laugh. "Really, when something big is happening, I always let you know. Don't worry."
"I know, Rosie, but it's my job to worry."
"And I love you for it," I said, giving him a kiss on his cheek. My eyes caught Derek staring at us, and I offered him a smile as well before facing my brother. "Don't worry, you'll get grey hairs earlier than necessary."
Aaron let out a short belly laugh. "You convinced me."
"Good," I grabbed my bag. "I'll see you later, big bro."
I ran out of the café and made my way to the only place I knew was going to help me calm my mind. The studio.
Hours later, when not even the blasting music during my improv could numb the guilt that was eating me alive, I shot a text to Ivy asking if she wanted to hang. It turned out she was with Nova, and they were both more than happy for my company, so I went over to Nova’s place for a girls’ night.
"What were you planning to do?" I was shocked when I saw the kitchen table was covered with a newspaper. "Are we doing pumpkin carving already?"
Ivy laughed. "No, silly. I got these super cute mugs and plates, and we are going to paint them. I've been dying to try this."
I glanced at the ceramics she mentioned, then at the paint, and nodded. "Wow, okay. I suck at painting."
"Have you ever tried painting?" Nova appeared behind me, wearing the cutest checked dress and cowboy boots.
"Love this outfit," I complimented her before shaking my head. "Actually, never."
"Come on, ballerina," she nodded towards the table before handing me the drink. "Since you don't like wine and you're underaged your choice of drink will be lemonade. I put some strawberries in it, so it looks fancy."
I chuckled and nodded. "Thank you. Sorry for crashing your..."
"No, no, no," Ivy cut me off. "I'm so glad you texted. I wanted to text you... But you usually say no, so I didn't want you to feel like I was pressuring you."
Contemplating her words, I nodded. "Oh... I never thought that's how it comes across. I think I'm just bad at maintaining relationships."
"I don't think so," Ivy shrugged. "You and Daisy are close, which is great!"
I gave her a puzzling look as we settled around the table and each picked an item. I took the mug because it seemed the easiest, but both girls chose a plate, so maybe I was wrong.
"You do know we suck at this, too, most likely?" Nova asked, already dipping her brush into the paint. "This is just supposed to be fun; it doesn't have to be perfect. We want to make them silly and funny and give them to the guys."
"Max will probably say it's amazing," Ivy giggled. "He wouldn't admit, even if you tortured him, that I most likely have no talent for painting."
"So just let your perfectionism go, stop the wheels in your mind spinning, and just have fun with it."
A small smile pulled on my lips. "I'll try."
And that's what we did, most of us used blue and white for the Titan colors and tried to make something fun.
Ivy was painting letters that spelled captain and Nova was making it all green like a soccer field.
I decided on a Titan's blue background, with soccer balls on top.
It was neutral enough that I could give it to Dex or Aaron, and that smoothed some of my anxiety.
"Soooo," Nova started after a couple of minutes of quiet, where only the music blasted while we worked. "What made you reach out?"
Staring at her, I almost painted the table. "What do you mean?"
"You don't usually hang with us," Nova pointed out the obvious.
"Out of the fifty times when we invited you, you only joined like ten times.
And all those times it was because you had your own agenda.
" Ivy tried kicking her under the table, but it didn't help, and Nova finished her sentence.
"I'm not saying this to be rude, I'm just curious. "
I shrugged. "That's fair. It was brought to my attention that I'm not a good friend, so I'm trying to improve that. I didn't mean to come across so cold and unbothered."
"We know you're going through a lot," Ivy jumped to my rescue. "We totally get it."
Nova rolled her eyes. "Yes, we get it. But that's what friends are for, to help you. Unless you know, you're perfectly fine having just Dex help you out."
I gaped at her, and this whole honesty coming from Nova was getting on my nerves. "Dex and I are friends."
"Exactly, you actually text him and talk to him. You act with us like an uninterested guy."
Despite my best efforts, I laughed. "That's rude.”
"Have you tried texting a guy who's not interested? It's really fucking hard," Nova muttered, taking a sip of her wine. "Sometimes that's how it felt texting you."
"I'm sorry," I said, hoping she could hear sincerity in my voice. "I'll work on this."
"We are just happy you reached out," Ivy smiled. "And we should totally do pumpkin carving next time."
I chuckled. "Thankfully, I at least know how to do that."
Nova laughed. "It's good to step outside of your comfort zone and do things that scare you."
With a nod, I went back to the soccer balls that I was drawing. The paint dried surprisingly fast, and it wasn't even transferring to my fingers as I turned the mug.
"We've been thinking of driving to the away game," Nova changed the topic. "Rumor has it Dex will be starting."
My head snapped up so fast, my neck cracked, and both girls gave me a puzzled look. He didn't tell me he was going to start. Then again, we haven’t talked in person for a while, and I guess it wasn’t something he wanted to share over text.
"It's not final yet," Ivy jumped in. "Max told me they were going to finalize it today, so hopefully when they come back from practice tonight, we will know."
I smiled. "I hope he gets to start, and I'd love to join, please."
"Yay," Nova clapped, splashing her green paint all over the newspapers. "Sorry, Ivy."
"It's all covered, so no worries," she shrugged. "I'm so excited for Dex to be back with the team and starting. He deserves it."
"Yes, he put a lot of effort into his recovery," I nodded proudly. "He's doing really well."
The girls exchanged a secretive smile that I didn't care to decipher, and instead, I shifted the conversation. "What are you going to be for Halloween?"
I knew it was Ivy's favorite holiday, and the way her eyes lit up, and she started spitting out ideas together with Max’s funny commentary made Nova and me laugh.
It felt good to spend some quiet time with these girls, and to admit that deep down Daisy was right.
Not in her approach or delivery, but the underlying message was correct.
I was really giving off uninterested guy vibes to my friends, and I wanted to change that. I wanted to be part of their group.
For the first time, I didn't think about building walls around me and hiding; I wanted to belong and settle in.
After all, I was here to stay.