11. Jonah
CHAPTER ELEVEN
jonah
Okay, this is it. The first game as a Big Bend Bear. You can do this. It’s not a big deal.
I breathe deeply as I stand on the sidelines with the whole team behind me, dressed in full uniform, holding the face guard of my helmet, my heart racing.
I’m not an idiot. All eyes are definitely on the new quarterback tonight. Everyone knows I’m Micah’s little brother. Speaking of Micah, he doesn’t look nervous at all. Which is just crazy.
I know how much pressure small-town football coaches have on them.
For some people in this town, these Friday night games are everything.
They shut down business to come to the games.
Every Friday night is homecoming for some of these people.
They’re already in their hometown, and they bank on every game being something exciting to watch.
It’s a lot of pressure.
I look to my left and see Calvin standing next to me in his blue and white uniform, his helmet on.
But I can see his eyes—they’re right on me.
I let out a slow breath and close my eyes for a moment, listening to the rowdy crowd around us.
To the players hyping themselves up. To the coaches telling us to have fun out there but to keep our heads.
Oh yeah, I’ve got this. I’m Jonah Zimmerman. If there’s one thing I know—it’s football.
I open my eyes and see Calvin watching me closely, so I shoot him a quick wink and when the announcer shouts, “Let’s welcome our Big Bend Bears,” we all run out onto the field to the excited crowd’s shouts, whistles, and applause. I’ll never get tired of that sound.
The game is against Hayes, and I’m proud to say the score isn’t even close at halftime.
It’s a spanking of epic proportions from us to them, and it’s a beautiful thing.
In the locker room at the half, Micah grins from ear to ear, giving us all pats on the back and telling us to keep it up. But I can’t keep my eyes off Calvin.
He’s sitting on the bench, his helmet off, his hair sweaty—which to me is a sexy enough look on the big guy—but it’s his face I can’t keep my eyes off. He’s happy. He was having fun out there—blocking for me flawlessly. Their defense hasn’t had a chance tonight.
He catches me looking at him, and the slowest, most gorgeous smile falls over his face. So beautiful, it nearly knocks me over.
Whoa.
Head back in the game, Zimmerman.
The second half of the game is more of the same, and I’m on a high when we walk back into that locker room as the victors. It feels good to see my entire team pumped from the game. Everyone floating on that win.
I quickly strip and head for the showers, my arm sore from all those touchdowns I threw, but it’s the best kind of sore. I can’t look to my left because Calvin is there—naked and wet. I knew I was gay from a very young age, and I have always kept my eyes down in the locker room.
This is the first time I can say I’ve been tempted to look. But I rush through my shower and get dressed in record time because I know the faster I get dressed, the faster I can get Calvin all to myself.
He must have the same idea because he’s pulling his shirt on over his head the exact same time I am. I’m about to grab my bag and get the hell out of here when Adler pops up right in front of me. He’s shirtless still and smirking at me. “You coming to celebrate, QB?”
He actually sounds genuine. Must be the win that’s making him feel a little nicer tonight—but not a fucking chance. “Nah. I’m heading home.”
“What?” He looks like he’s actually disappointed. “You have to come celebrate with the team. We won.”
“Yeah, I don’t celebrate by getting shitfaced in some field.”
“No?” There’s that menacing shitheadedness I’m used to from him, looking over at Calvin and then back to me. “And what exactly do you do to celebrate?”
“I was thinking ice cream,” I say, not looking at Calvin. I wouldn’t give a fuck if this asshole knew I planned to spend the night with him, but I have a strong suspicion Calvin would.
Adler rolls his eyes and snorts like a furious bull. “Ice cream? What are you, five?”
“Don’t ever knock strawberry ice cream.”
“Dude, that’s the worst one.” I look over at Billy, who’s fully dressed, but he’s grinning kindly at me. I don’t get the sense he’s like everyone else on this team. “Everyone knows you celebrate with mint chocolate chip.”
I toss my head back on a hearty laugh. “That is a good choice, but I say go with a classic. Strawberry is where it’s at.”
He laughs too, and I think we broke Adler’s brain because he’s just staring at us both with a confused look on his face.
“Don’t die tonight. You’re not totally awful on the field, and we’d hate to have to replace you,” I say, thumping his shoulder with a good-natured pat and then walk to the door, kind of hating the compliment but liking that it was close to an insult too. I’m sure it’ll still get under his skin.
I don’t look behind me to see if Calvin is coming because I don’t want to draw any attention to him, but I walk slowly enough to hear his footsteps behind me. I don’t think I’d have been able to leave him there alone with Adler and Shields, not knowing if they’re questioning him too.
This protectiveness I feel over him doesn’t seem to be waning at all. If anything, it’s doubled in the short time I’ve known him. We walk out to our trucks, and when I reach mine, I have to stop and look over at him. “Still coming over?” I check.
He looks around nervously. Some players walk out to their vehicles, but none are close enough to hear us or pay any attention. He gives a small nod, and I know enough not to push.
I nod at him and hop in my truck, relieved when I see he’s following behind me as I drive to Micah’s. When we get there, the house is quiet, which is kind of eerie.
“No one is home?” Calvin asks, his bag slung over his shoulder, and it hits home that he’s staying the night. Holy shit. I can’t believe this is actually happening.
“Jenna and the girls went to the game. I guess they waited for Micah.”
His grin is small, but it’s there on his face as we stand by the door. “It’s cool they go to every game.”
“Coach’s family life,” I say, and yeah, I think it’s cool too.
Jenna has always been there to support my brother, and the girls love the games.
“You can put your bag down in here or in my room.” He doesn’t move.
“I mean, not that we’re sleeping in my room or anything.
” I point awkwardly at the huge L shaped couch in the living room.
“We’ll be out here, but if you want to get it out of the way . . .”
He smiles again, and God help me, I can’t seem to shut up around him.
“Sure.” He walks back to my room confidently since he’s been there a few times before, and I resist the urge to follow him.
I’d love to be alone in my room with him, with the house empty like it is right now, but I’m trying to remind myself to go slow.
Right now, we’re just friends and barely that. Anything could scare him off at this point, and I’m starting to realize how devastating that would be. Just as I kick off my shoes and get settled on the couch and Calvin is walking back in, I hear the door open.
Great, I love my nieces to death, but it’ll probably be an hour before they settle down and I can just hang out with Calvin. But I’m shocked when Micah comes inside with a silent, sleeping Ruby in his arms and Jenna walks in with an equally silent, sleeping Hannah in hers.
My eyes widen, and Micah shoots me a look, like for the love of God, be quiet. They might as well be carrying very delicate explosives as they walk down the hall toward the girls’ rooms. Calvin tiptoes toward me, sitting next to me, stiff and still—clearly picking up on the precarious moment.
I hear the soft click of one door, followed by another before Jenna and Micah walk into the living room with a soft high five. “We did it!” Jenna whispers.
“I think they’re totally out,” I say, not whispering, but I keep my voice down.
“Yeah, but you never know. Very delicate business,” Micah says, and the poor guy looks terrified.
Like they could wake up any minute. I can’t help but laugh at that.
They love their girls, but I can tell a couple who needs some alone time when I see it.
I almost feel bad for not going to the party for an hour or two tonight.
But Micah doesn’t seem bothered at all with Calvin and me being here. “Good game, guys.”
“Yes, you boys did a fantastic job,” Jenna says, going to the kitchen. The house has an open floor plan, so it’s connected to the living room, and I can see her buzzing around in there. “You two are a really good team. Work really well together.”
Okay, Jenna. Let’s be subtle here. I don’t think she knows anything, but she knows I’m gay. She doesn’t know about Calvin though—and neither do I, for that matter. Still, I can sense by her tone, she thinks something could be there.
Well, join the club, sister-in-law. But we can’t rush this.
I think Micah is clueless, though, as he starts going over highlights from the game and how we worked well together out on the field. Jenna’s face the whole time, though, is shooting me these conspiratorial looks, and I swear, if I didn’t love her so much, I’d be mortified.
But it’s Jenna. She sees things others don’t. She’s hopeful in ways most people aren’t.
“I got you guys lots of snacks. And I know you probably want to play your game all night, but we do have Netflix and Hulu. So feel free to find a movie. I got popcorn!”
I try not to laugh, and Calvin just looks at me like is she serious? He looks back at Jenna, and I can see the softness he feels for her too. “Thank you. That was nice of you. You didn’t have to go to all that trouble.”
She waves him off. “Oh, it was fun. I want you guys to have a great night.” She looks over at me and winks, and I face-palm, a blush coming over my cheeks, but I just laugh because—Jenna.
“Thanks, Jenna,” I say.
“Yeah, well . . .” Micah looks at me and then his wife, clearly confused but also not asking and then grabs a bottle of wine and some glasses. “We’re going to go to sleep early. Super tired. You guys have fun out here. Don’t wake the girls.”
Jenna’s face lights up, and okay—sure, Micah—you’ll be sleeping. “Oh yes. Very, very tired,” Jenna says with no shame at all. “It’s been way too long since we’ve had any sleep.”
“Gross,” I laugh. “You’re not fooling anyone,” I say as they head down the hall toward their room, giggling like teenagers.
“Wasn’t trying to, little brother,” Micah whisper-shouts, and then there’s a click of the door. I laugh, shaking my head.
“They’re ridiculous,” I say to Calvin, who’s smiling at their antics.
“They’re pretty cool, although I’m not sure I needed to know my coach is getting laid only a few feet away.”
I scrunch my nose. “I didn’t need to hear those words out loud. Don’t need that image in my head, dude.”
He laughs—it’s rusty like he doesn’t do it often, but it’s a deep rumble. “Sorry. But I mean, that’s what they were hinting at, right?”
“Oh, for sure. But I still don’t want to think about it.”
“It was really nice of Jenna to get all those snacks.” He points toward the counter that’s practically covered in junk food.
I hop up and direct him over. “You hungry?”
“I’m always hungry,” he says as he joins me, motioning to his big body. “You’ve seen me, right?”
Oh yeah, I’ve seen him. A lot. Up close and far away.
I’ve studied the man and his body, for damn sure.
I can’t help it. Everything about him just does it for me.
His strong, muscled legs and arms. His broad shoulders and wide chest. The way his biceps nearly rip the sleeves of his T-shirt, they’re so big.
Everything about him screams powerful, yet he’s kind of a gentle giant.
Silent. Not imposing.
He’s a sight to see all right.