Prologue #2
There was never such a thing as us. The life I thought we had was a fairytale that was too good to be true.
The late nights, work conferences, and half ass baby not tonight’s were because he was with someone else.
Maybe the burn would’ve been different if Victor hadn’t been in our home and living a bold ass lie in the presence of our son.
Or if the person he chose didn’t play a vital role in Zy’s life.
He called him uncle when he was really his father’s lover.
The gun I’d never used was left in the car, but I wondered if they’d notice me leaving to go retrieve it.
I was having an outer body experience. I saw myself rinsing my lips with bleach.
I saw bullets flying. I saw… red. Dark red blood seeping out the sides of their heads from the bullets I wanted to put through them.
But then, I saw my sweet baby boy Zion. My brain flooded with images of his precious face and how his already damaged heart would break if he was told he lost not one, but two parents.
A lone tear dropped from my right eye. I had no choice but to walk away.
Our son needed me. When I took a step back, the cake slipped out of my hand, falling to the floor with a wet thud.
They both turned in my direction with their eyes damn near bulging out of their head, but I didn’t miss the slight relief in Vic’s eyes.
“Shit!” Victor pushed Solomon away and tried to adjust himself.
“Baby,” Solomon scrambled to his feet, not even bothering to wipe his mouth.
“Don’t,” I turned to walk away, stepping over the scattered food beneath me. “We ain’t got a mutha’fuckin’ thing to talk about.”
“Please Jersei. I can explain! This shit is not how it looks. We w?—”
I quickly turned in his direction. “Explain? What the fuck is there to explain Solomon?”
The door closed behind me and Solomon exhaled. For a second, I thought Victor was gone, but he returned to the chair they’d just moved from.
“Keep your fucking tone down,” he gritted peering behind me. “I was going to tell you. It just happened, man.”
I blinked trying to make sense of the shit he was saying. “Sucking a nigga’s dick on the clock three days before your anniversary just happened?”
“He’s not a nigga,” he quickly defended, looking over at Victor.
I watched Victor damn near swoon, and the change of tone let me know more than I needed to.
As I looked between them, I could see the hearts in their eyes.
These mutha’fuckas were in love, and I chose to be so blind that I missed red flags that were probably waving in my face the entire time.
“He’s my best friend,” Solomon finished.
“Your best friend, huh?” I scoffed in disbelief. “Nigga, fuck you! I see you pick and choose when you want to be on your knees. I begged you to check the plumbing under the sink for months, but you in this bitch getting yours.”
“It was once!”
“Solomon,” Victor stated as a warning.
Solomon’s eyes closed. “Look. I love him, Jersei. We fuck often. Daily.”
I burst into laughter but wasn’t shit funny. This nigga had grown a pair of balls I wasn’t sure existed. My head was getting light processing the shit, so I braced my balance on my knees looking up at him.
“You fuck him daily!” I screamed. “So, fuck my health?”
“I’m clean!” Victor defended.
There was a vase of flowers on the stand beside me. I took it and threw it directly at Victor, but he dodged it. “You shut the fuck up! This probably ain’t the first ass you done played in!” I pointed.
“Chill out, Jersei!” Solomon reached out for me, but I pushed his chest.
“Don’t put your fucking hands on me! I will kick and scream, nigga until these white folks come and lock yo’ trifling ass up! Please try me!” I warned, and he took a step back. “Is he such a hell of a man that he is worth your family Solomon?”
He didn’t respond. I scoffed.
“The fishing dates, uncle and nephew shit is no more. Until you are man enough to have the conversation with our son about who he really is to you, you will not see him when Victor is around.”
I tried to walk away but he snatched me back to him by the elbow. “What? Fuck that! You not keeping my son from me!”
“Sucking dick got your hearing fucked up I see. I said Zion won’t be around you two while yall playing Barbie, Ken, and Ken. It’s one thing to lie to me, but lying to Zy will not happen. Victor is not to be around him until you are honest,” I broke it down as if he was a toddler and I meant it.
Solomon held my elbow tighter with a devious smirk on his face.
“What the fuck authority do you have Jersei? Huh? You don’t run a fucking thing.
Nobody will ever believe you when you tell them what you saw today.
You have no credentials, power, or name for yourself,” he gritted.
My heart dropped hearing someone speak what I’d been telling myself.
“Victor is a part of my life, so that means he is part of our son’s life too.
If I want to go on a date with my man and my son, I will because I pay the cost to be the fucking boss. ”
I blinked rapidly as I looked between his eyes. The anger running through my veins had my body trembling.
“Solomon, if it wasn’t for my son, I would shoot the shit out of you right here right now,” I turned to Victor. “You too! Holding my son, kissing him on the forehead with my nigga’s balls on your tongue? What the fuck? In my hou?—”
“Your house?” Solomon interjected, throwing his head back laughing hard as fuck.
Victor joined in. “Your name ain’t on shit, Jersei.
You leave me and what are you going to do?
Huh? Go live with your mama? Everything of yours is attached to me.
Everything. I own you, little girl. Did you forget that?
So, you either accept this for what it is and keep your fucking mouth closed, or option A.
With the life I give you versus the one you never will have, there are no other options.
Who the fuck is going to want a stay-at-home mom?
You have nothing to offer anybody but three warm holes and that’s not enough.
Can’t you tell? You won’t have shit without me, and you know that. ”
There it was. The source confirmed the voices that had been echoing in my head for years.
Solomon was hanging it over me as if he was waiting for the moment to drop on my head all along.
My head was spinning with emotions, ears ringing with anger and hurt.
I felt humiliated, lower than the scum of the earth because everything he said was right.
I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and scream.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, refusing to fold in front of them.
“Paying bills doesn’t make you a man. It makes you my sponsor,” I looked past him.
“And Victor that makes you the sponsor’s hoe.
” Their eyes widened and I smiled, snatching away from him so hard that he stumbled.
“Don’t forget I know everything about you and all the ways you dig deep to get these deals.
You think the CEO is going to love finding out what his chairman and VP are doing on their lunch break?
” I looked between the two of them, watching how my words landed.
They were skating on thin ice and if I wanted to take a step and break it, I could.
“You know like…the books that I have access to of yours and the side deals you talk the customers into when bribery is completely against company policy? It would be a shame if someone were to find out about that. Wouldn’t it?”
“Nah,” Solomon shook his head. “You wouldn’t do that.”
I stepped a little closer, but not too close because I didn’t want to smell the dick on his breath.
“Try me, nigga. I will expose yo rabbit ass just as sure as my name is what it is, ‘cause that’s all I got, right? You don’t have to have money to have proof.
This stay-at-home mom will go down to the court and file child support on your dog ass to-fucking-morrow.
Potted meat, saltine crackers, and Caprisuns will become your new best friend next to your precious Victor.
” I took a deep breath, looking between the two of them.
“I’m taking my son, my dignity, and the satisfaction of knowing that I could bury you with three sentences if I wanted to. ”
Solomon swallowed hard, but he kept his firm posture. “You’ll regret this. You need me, Jersei. You know that,” he rambled as I was preparing to walk away.
“Need you?” I narrowed my eyes on Solomon.
Ten minutes ago, you couldn’t have paid me a million dollars to believe the man I’d been with for almost a decade would do or say anything of this caliber.
Looking in his eyes was enough to make me flutter, but as I stood here, I saw nothing but deceit.
Piece by piece, I could physically feel my heart shattering and everything in me was becoming unstable, my life included.
Including the walk to the car, I had another five minutes or so before I could crumble in peace.
“The only thing I need for you to do is to be a father to our son. You better hope that when I’m done with you, Zion’s not going to be the only family you have left.
” I cut my eyes between him and Victor one last time.
“Yall can finish now,” I took some steps backwards.
“It seems like this is the only time you’ll ever finish with me in the room. Fuck you, nigga.”