10. Soundtrack to You and I…
Soundtrack to You and I
Being in the moment meant that you were enjoying what was in front of you.
The world faded, time stopped ticking, and suddenly the things on your plate didn’t feel that heavy.
For that very reason, summer came and went.
I hadn’t spent my days counting the clock, rather they’d been spent enveloped in what was becoming the best chapter of my life.
Jersei may have been finding herself, but in her, I’d found the kindred spirit I’d convinced myself I didn’t need.
All bets were off when it came to her, and it was no secret that she had my nose and heart wide the fuck open.
With only two and a half weeks remaining until the school bell was set to ring, professional learning kicked off this week.
Since I was the school counselor, I wasn’t required to attend every workshop the teachers did, so I spent this time rearranging my office and preparing exercises I wanted to implement during the year.
The goal was always to be better for myself, my family, and these bad ass students.
One of my back-to-school traditions was Valen coming down to help redecorate. Well, it was more of her bossing my ass around and that was exactly what she’d been doing since I got back from my eleven o’clock meeting.
“I’m throwing these bean bags out,” she lifted one and tossed it into the hallway then the same with the other.
It was rare that I argued with V, so I watched her move around like a mad woman.
“Don’t look at me like that. Do you know how many sour booties been on them?
Disinfectant spray can only do so much when that asshole stank. ”
I hollered and started importing the newly enrolled students onto the Pea Drive.
Across the campus, we were expecting close to seven hundred more lil’ niggas but thank goodness the only thing I had to fill out was any child marked with previous mental health records or CPS files, and that was close to two hundred.
With a good playlist, I could have this done before two.
“Valen, shut the fuck up,” I mumbled hearing my phone ding.
I smiled before I picked it up. Nobody called my shit for real and I kept it on do not disturb for everybody except for two people and one of them I was looking at.
I clicked the message, and it was a screenshot from a sub place up in Edgewynne.
I wanted to surprise you so bad, but the driver has to be buzzed in at SPA. I got some lunch being delivered for y'all at noon, for your first unofficial day back
I leaned back in my chair feeling my cheeks heat.
Thank you, baby. I tried to make that smoothie this morning, but that shit was no good. I think the avocado was old. I needed this.
I miss you.
I held the phone for a minute awaiting her dots. I don’t know how long I waited, but I did. What I told her was true, I missed her and couldn’t wait to touch her, even if it was only her fingertips.
I tapped the screen again to prevent it from going black and the dots appeared then two pictures populated.
My legs instantly moved in and out trying to suppress my hardening dick.
Jersei was in black lingerie in the center of her bed.
In one image, the camera was directly between her legs with her thong pulled aside giving me the perfect view of her pretty puffy lips.
The other was of her bent over in front of a mirror, with her hand wrapped just below her anklet.
Her ass sat high, and I could see her tight hole between the barely there thong against her smooth tawny-colored skin.
Everything about her was exquisite. Swiping my hand down my mouth, I muffled the growl I couldn’t hold back.
I peeked up at Valen who was hammering something into the wall while I was trying to compose myself.
I miss you and I believe she does too..
Miss J….
Yes baby?
You look so fucking good. I don’t know of a more perfect combo than you in black.
See you as soon as I log out.
I will be waiting, handsome.
I sent her some emojis I’d used before. Shit, I barely knew what they meant, but they were…cute. I sat my phone down to see Valen now sitting ahead of me with her feet on my desk. I threw a pen upside her forehead.
“Ouch!”
“Get your feet off my shit girl.” I sprayed disinfectant on her feet, but she didn’t budge. I shook my head and went back to my work on my computer.
“You like my friend huh?”
I chuckled. “I’m starting to think you both are delusional. You and Jersei haven’t even met in person yet but swear y’all are besties.”
“We are! You jealous and that’s okay,” she placed her feet on the floor. “I’m really happy for you, Bubby. I never thought?—”
I cut my eyes at her. “Thought what? Finish your statement.”
Valen pressed her lips together. “After everything with LaBrina. I didn’t think you would put yourself in a…situation again, but I’m glad you did. I like seeing you in love.”
“Love? I’m not in?—”
“Oh, nigga please,” she fanned her hand with disgust on her face.
“If you not, you beating the damn door down. Please don’t tell yourself you’re not because of the timing because I be falling in love in seven business minutes and that’s okay.
That means I know what I want,” she wiggled her shoulders.
Again, I shook my head. “Living up to everyone else’s standards will keep you behind every time. Go with what you feel.”
I sat with her words for a minute. “I hear you, sissy.”
“You better!” Valen said. She took a swig of her energy drink.
“I know this shit will make your day,” she sighed, and my eyes perked up.
“I’ve been thinking long and hard. I think I’m going to see Coretta,” she called our mother by her real name.
It was rare that we called her mama in conversation with one another.
It was either her street or government name.
“I was not expecting you to say that. It’s gone snow in hell. What changed your mind?”
Her shoulders went up and down. “Well, I do know. Devon and I were talking about how he lost his mom unexpectedly. He still has days where he just cries, and they were on good terms. Since then, I have been thinking how would I feel if somebody shanked Sticky’s ass to death,” she demonstrated a quick stabbing motion.
It wasn’t supposed to be funny, but V would have a straight face while saying the wildest shit.
“Would I cry? Would I go to her funeral? Would I live with regret? I answered yes to all three questions, so I’ma go see her especially before she gets sentenced.
Ain’t no telling where they gone ship her ass to. ”
I stopped typing and tugged at my beard. That was something to think about. It was easy having Sticky close, but the system has the power to place her anywhere. A lot would change so we had to prepare for the unknown.
“First, I applaud you for taking that step. I know she left visible and invisible scars, but I pray the two of you can gain a relationship if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t know what I want, but I am willing to try. I plan to go up there next week.”
“Do you need me to go with you?”
Valen sighed. “At first, I did, but we need to talk one on one. I don’t want the mother and apologetic version of her yet.
I want the mutha’fucka who left us for the streets first. I want Sticky.
Then, I will work my way up to where she is now as a woman who just so happens to be my mother, and I don’t need you to be a referee for that.
I need to wear my big girl drawls, and I got some big granny panties,” she chuckled.
I laughed but knew she was deflecting and trying not to cry. “Proud of you, V. If you change your mind, let me know. I pray you get everything you expect out of it.”
“Me too.” She looked out my window, sighing. “Look, I know I talk shit and get on your nerves, but you are the best big brother a girl can ask for. I don’t give you enough credit and I’m sorry for going off on you when you were in the mountains.”
I waved my hand. “I’an thinking about that, V.”
“Because you’re selfless, Vayce. You had no clue what a menstrual was, but you taught me anyway.
There were nights you starved but made sure I had at least a piece of bread.
I missed so many moments with Sticky not being around, but we don’t talk about how many you missed because you spent your childhood being a father, mother, and brother when you were never supposed to,” she allowed the tears to fall.
I stood, rounding my desk and pulled her into my arms. “I’ve been teasing you about Jersei ‘cause for the first time, I see how free you are. Yes, you’ve been free in the mind, but she has unleashed your heart.
Not even LaBrina did that. I want you to get back all the years you lost and anytime she’s the topic of the conversation, I see twelve-year-old Vayce and all his happiness.
Please promise me you won’t miss out on the love you deserve this time. ”
I cleared my throat feeling the tears hit it.
“V, I’d do it all over again today if I had to.
I wouldn’t have wanted my life to fall any other way because I wouldn’t be who I am today.
You’re right. I did miss out. I was in roles I shouldn’t have been, but I’ve healed and let that hurt go ‘cause at the end of the day, Sticky was living while we were hurting. The world teaches you everything, how to hide, how to fuck, how to get over, but niggas don’t tell you how to deal with the tear-stained pillow or that ache in your chest. I got tired of feeling broken every fucking day while the world kept going.
Forgiveness is hard as a mutha’fucka, V.
I’an saying the shit gone happen tomorrow or even within a month, but I do know that it’s worth the peace on the other side.
Get that. As far as love, I can promise to get what is given to me and more. ”