12. Favorite Mistake
Favorite Mistake
(Earlier That Morning)
When the plans changed this morning, I told J to put me wherever she needed a helping hand.
She had to decorate and so as not to disappoint or alter Zy’s plans, I told her I’d take him.
Jersei damn near had a cow because she wanted to be part of our first time being alone outside of the school, but Zion and I needed time to connect.
Going into today, I don’t think either of us knew what to expect, but the shit was cool.
We didn’t have awkward moments, and I believe that was because of the three weeks we got to bond at Sweet Pea Academy in counseling.
It didn’t feel like I was hanging with a kid because he truly had an old soul.
We started the morning at The Golden Café where he ordered whatever he wanted.
I was a frequent customer, so the owners made him some type of cookie French toast and sang happy birthday to him.
After that, we went up to Edgewynne to do some shopping. Just like his mama, he acted like he didn’t want anything. I had to break down his pride and tell him it was his day, and it was okay to be selfish. We left there with shoes and clothes for the new year.
We shouldn’t have been, but I brought him to Whipped to get a root beer float. It was their specialty, and I’d learned today that it was one of his favorites outside of sorbet.
“Aw man,” Zion flipped his phone over.
“That’s your mama again?”
“Not this time. My gaming friend said that he’s on punishment for two weeks. I don’t know who I am going to play the game with now,” his shoulders slumped.
I slipped my double Oreo milkshake knowing this shit was going to fuck my stomach up later. “You got a PS5 or Xbox?”
“Xbox.”
“Me too. I’on play much but add me and I’ll hop on the game with you.”
His eyes widened. “Really?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, man. Don’t be talking about me when I’on hit buckets like I’m supposed to.”
Zion laughed. “We all start somewhere,” he played with his ice cream. I could tell that fast he’d drifted off in deep thought. “What do you like about my mom? Well, that is a pretty loaded question. Give me two things that you like about her.”
“Damn,” I leaned back in my seat. “Her mindset and how loving she is. I feel like you may ask me for a definition too, so let me beat you to the punch,” I chortled, and Zion’s head bobbed up and down.
“You know how good a person is based on how they treat the people around them. You are her world, and I love seeing her do whatever she can to make sure that you don’t want for anything.
When I say how loving she is, what I mean is she automatically takes care of the people that are around her.
She can make the most damaged person in the room feel love and it's a beautiful thing. She’s a beautiful person,” I smiled thinking about her.
“Have you ever watched Family Feud?"
I nodded. “I watch it often and I always root for the black people.”
“Me too!” He giggled, making me laugh. “You know how they say, good answer, good answer! That’s me to you right now.”
I hollered. “You goofy like your mama.”
“I am. I believe you though. You have those same big googly eyes Mama does when she talks about you. It’s funny.” Zy set his spoon down and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt then flexed. Nothing moved, not even the muscle, but his little boney arm was shaking from him trying to show me.
“You see that?”
I laughed loud as hell. “Yeah, I see something.”
He pointed to the muscle. “And you remember how I did that kid at school don’t you?”
I knew where this was going and still couldn’t stop laughing. “I didn’t see the fight, but I did see the aftermath, yes. Why, what’s up?”
“I like you, Mr. Vayce, but I love my mama, and I don’t mind fighting for her. I am not afraid to use these knuckles on you.”
“I definitely don’t want my ass kicked, so you can put the guns up,” I held my hands up in surrender. “I got you and always defend her like that, or any woman in your family. I don’t care how big the person is. You keep that lion's heart.”
“Yes sir, I will.” He spooned the last of his ice cream. “Can I tell you something?”
“Whatever you are comfortable with.”
“I’m excited to have you around. I know in our sessions you said that I am used to two parents.
I know you can’t be my dad, but I was hoping that you can be my stepdad one day,” he laid it on me heavily.
“Mom wasn’t happy when I left her, but I could tell over the phone she was slowly getting there.
Now? She is really happy,” he expanded his arms. I chuckled.
“She was hurt but you are helping her get better so I want to say thank you.”
I ruffled his little curls. “I’ll do anything for her, Zy.”
“Yeah. My dad told me that too then he hurt her. Can you please promise me that you will make her this happy forever?”
The tears rimming his eyelids broke my heart.
I placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him my full attention.
“I experienced a lot of hurt as a kid, so much that if I explained it to you, it would ruin your birthday. I promise to never inflict intentional pain on your mother as long as God blesses me with breath. Hearts are like glass. They’re fragile, breakable, and they hold a lot of things together.
Before I damage hers, I’d rip mine out and give her my own even if that means I die.
I will treat and love her like it’s my purpose in life.
As a ten-year-old, there are a lot of things you have to be concerned about, but me mistreating your mother isn’t on that list. I promise to not mishandle her heart in this lifetime or the next.
If I do, I give you permission to use those muscles on me. ”
Zion laughed. “I will remember that. I will also tell you if I see the google in her eye disappear.”
What he said didn’t make sense, but I knew exactly what he meant.
“You do that. As black men, we are to hold one another accountable because out there,” I pointed toward the door.
“We’re a target. We’re misunderstood. They are waiting for us to fuck up.
We are all we got, so if you ever see me slacking in any area of my life, my love, my actions, my profession, hold me accountable.
Accountability makes you a better person. Don’t you ever forget that.”
“Accountability makes you a better person,” he mumbled, trying to memorize it. “I won’t.”
We sat and talked for another 20 minutes or so before Jersei texted saying that we could head home because the decorations were complete. Zion thought he was having something at home, but he was in for a surprise. After throwing away our trash, we headed out of Whipped.
“Thank you for my birthday gifts. I had a great time!”
“Anytime, Zion. I’m glad you did.”
“I don’t know if my mom told you, but I can keep a secret. In school, I will act like you are only my counselor, but at home we are game buddies and soon stepdad and stepson. Deal?” He extended his fist.
I chuckled and bumped his fist. It warmed my heart that he could picture the same family I did in my head. I was praying God would reveal the same vision to J as well. “I like that. We got a deal.”
“Great! I feel like we need a handshake.”
I smiled as I pushed the door open for him. “That fist bumping shit is kinda lame. Let’s work on one soon.”
“Sounds like a plan!” He made some sound and jumped off the curb.
(1 Week Later—Present)
“I get bitches, Mr. Denver. It comes easy to me,” my student stroked his face like he really had a beard.
“Language,” I typed notes in the Pea Drive.
I’d been counseling Cedric since he was in fifth grade, and personality wise, he was the same mutha’fucka that came in my office three years ago.
One thing I appreciated about Ced was that he is who he is, but a lot of times it was a mask for his past trauma.
He survived a car accident where his mom passed away, so we met twice a week to check on his mental.
He held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry. I get women. That has never been an issue for me. How many women do you have? You look like you get ‘em too. No homo.”
I leaned back in my chair. “I never cared about having more than one woman. It’s easy to play and gamble with their hearts just because I could.
It’s lame and shows that I lack self-control if I’m being honest,” Ced looked off and I could tell he was a little offended, but it was the truth.
“To answer you, I have one woman, and she fulfills so much in me that I feel like I have seventeen women in one. That’s all I need.
You’re still young. One day, you’ll get there. ”
“Yeah, one day I will. It sounds good, but I’m a young nigga.
I got a girl for everything.” He smirked, standing to his feet.
Like I knew he would, he started shooting invisible buckets.
I watched him jump across my office and give me fake ass advice on women like he wasn’t but a fraction of my age.
“Oh, and I started journaling like you told me to. When I get sad instead of fighting, I have been writing down my feelings. On paper, I can beat anybody’s as—behind.
It makes me feel good. I appreciate you. ”
That made me smile hearing that he was using my tactics. We conversed for another ten minutes before I wrapped up our session and saw him out. Since it was the second day of school, our time was limited but there were certain students I needed to lay eyes on.
The bell rang and kids filled the hallways like roaches. Leaning against the doorpost, I eavesdropped on the chatter of the students, watched them run to make their class, while others picked through their lockers and moved as if they had all the time in the world.
“Aye!” I snapped my fingers at two students who were preparing to lip lock. “No kissing in the hallways.”
“Lil’ niggas sum else ain’t it?” Shawn approached me from my right side. We dapped. “What’s up, my boy?”
“What’s good family. You straight?”