Chapter 30 #2
‘She got a job, and we lived in a council flat until I started earning money of my own. The only reason I got into veterinary school was because I got a scholarship.’ The day I came home and mum held that letter between her trembling fingers, we’d both burst into tears.
‘When did she start with all the…witch stuff?’
I breathed out a soft laugh. ‘About a year after the divorce was final. She found this group that met once a week at the local library. She thought it was a book club, ended up going and… let’s just say the house filled with crystals very quickly after that.
But it got her out of the house. It gave her a purpose. Hope.’
Something they never tell you about building a life from the ground up, starting over again when you’ve lost everything, is that the smallest sliver of hope, no matter how minute it might be. That’s what keeps you going. That’s what keeps you alive.
George opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when the words didn’t come.
Already knowing the question he was trying not to voice, I exhaled a sharp breath.
‘There were a couple of years where he didn’t let it go.
He’d send texts, emails, even found out where we lived and banged on the doors for hours, even though we refused to let him in.
But eventually, I think he got bored. He signed over custody of me and gave her enough to buy the house she lives in.
I haven’t heard from him in seventeen years.
If he choked on a truffle and suffocated on his own bad breath, I’d bake a fucking cake to celebrate.
’ My lips pressed together in a thin smile.
Hate is a strong word. One many use too flippantly.
But when you loathe someone down to the very marrow of your bones, it’s often the force that propels you to action.
It’s the reason I worked hard in school, determined to never need to ask for a single cent from anybody.
It’s why I made a promise to myself that I would never let myself be in the same vulnerable position Mum was in, where a man with too much power and influence could swoop in under the guise of saving me.
A grapefruit lodged itself in my throat.
‘The cruelest thing you can do to a person is take their autonomy. Build them up so much that they depend on you, and then disappear. Taking the very essence of who you are with them. That’s why I never wanted this.
’ I pressed a hand to his chest. He lifted a hand to my jaw, tilting it up, forcing me to meet his impenetrable gaze.
‘No one can take your autonomy.’ His eyes sharpened. ‘Not really. Being alive means you’re free. Not many realise that. I think the cruelest thing you can do to someone is make them believe that they’re not their own person anymore.’
That’s exactly what my father had done. Taken mum’s humanity away, bit by bit.
Done with the spotlight being on me, I poked him in the shoulder. ‘That’s all the vulnerability you’re getting from me tonight, sir. Now make it even. Tell me a secret about you.’
His lips ticked up. ‘I’m not the biggest fan of chocolate.’
At the absolute horror on my face, his grin stretched wide. ‘It’s the truth.’
‘Okay, well, this is never going to work. I’m sorry.’ I made to turn over, twisting myself away from his body. He wasn’t having that. He dug his fingers into my waist to stop me from moving.
I batted his hands away. When he kept digging his fingers in, I let out a sigh. ‘Hang on a minute.’ He twined his legs with mine, pulled his body up so he was hovering over me.
Face staring down, eyes narrowed. Fuck, he was handsome.
He dug his fingers into my side once again. His eyes widened when I stared up at him, unimpressed.
‘You’re not ticklish.’ He let his hands wriggle all the way up my side, trying to find a weak spot.
‘Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not,’ I said with a smile. Honestly, feeling his hands on my body, even if it was in an attempt to tickle me, was incredible. It sent warmth rippling up my spine, making me want to close my eyes and sink into his touch.
‘You have to have a ticklish spot. Everyone does.’ He brought a hand to my neck to tickle me there. All that did was cause a soft moan to slip free. He stilled above me.
‘You like my hand around your neck.’ It wasn’t a question. His eyes darkened as he spread his fingers, slotting them around my throat and squeezing ever so gently. That pressure alone had my eyes fluttered closed and my worn pussy suddenly twitching to life.
‘Uh huh,’ I mumbled, as his grip tightened almost imperceptibly. ‘I rarely let guys do it, though.’
That small truth felt like dropping an anvil into the quiet room. My eyes snapped open to find George’s lips inches away from mine.
‘Why?’ His hot breath fanned over my lips as he placed soft kisses on the corner of my mouth, peppering them up to my cheeks. His hand still curled my throat. ‘Why don’t you let others hold this pretty neck as they fuck you, sweetheart?’
How can he make crass words sound sweet? And why did I want to answer every question he voiced with stark honesty?
‘That requires trust,’ I said thickly.
The implication of that statement rang loud and clear. From the way George’s eyes softened, he knew it too. I trusted him. Enough to hold me this way, enough to share my fucked up childhood with him.
‘You haven’t told me a secret yet,’ I pointed out.
He exhaled heavily, sensing I wanted to move on, and flopped back down on the bed.
‘Yes I have.’
Propping myself up on my elbow, I raised my eyebrows. ‘Not liking chocolate isn’t a secret. It’s an unfortunate character flaw, one that I’m not sure I’ll get past. But it’s not a secret.’
He rolled onto his back, lifting one arm around the back of his head as he stared up at the ceiling. It took him a few moments where I could see him work through something in his mind.
Finally, he spoke in a low voice. ‘I have to sell Cora’s.’
I sat bolt upright, not caring about my nakedness in the slightest, and tucked my messy hair behind my ear. ‘You can’t sell. That’s your dream.’
George’s eyes dipped to my bare chest and for a second I saw the flare of heat behind them before he shut them and shook his head. ‘I don’t have a choice. I’m in so much debt. There’s no climbing out of this hole.’ His voice cracked. And my heart nearly split in two at the agony I saw on his face.
I placed a hand on his chest. ‘I know you don’t want to do it, but why not ask—’
His eyes popped open, fixing me with a hard stare. ‘No. I’m not asking my brother.’
‘But he could help,’ I started.
‘Rosie,’ he said my name softly—a desperate plea. ‘I don’t want to talk about this right now. And especially not when your tits are staring me in the face.’
I glanced down at my chest and back to him. ‘You saying they’re offending you?’
A small smile crept up his face. ‘Not in the slightest. But if you continue to sit there, I’m going to have to see if earlier was a one-time thing or not.’
My entire body shivered at the promise in those words.
‘But I think we could both do with some sleep.’
I eyed the bed, feeling my shoulders tense. ‘Oh, you’re gonna sleep in here?’
He hesitated. ‘Did you want me to leave?’
No.
‘Rosie?’
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Not looking at him. ‘I’ve never slept in the same bed as anyone before. Apart from Fallon,’ I added. ‘But she doesn’t really count.’
‘Ever?’ The note of surprise in his voice had an uncharacteristic wave of self-consciousness crash over me.
I shook my head. ‘My point is…’ Half way through that sentence I realised I had no idea where I was going. My bottom lip pulled into my mouth.
‘Sweetheart?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Come here.’
He lifted the duvet and rolled onto his side. ‘Don’t think too hard about it,’ he whispered when I didn’t move straight away.
‘That’s like asking a china doll not to be creepy,’ I grumbled, sinking back down to the mattress. George chuckled.
He didn’t give me a chance to worry about configuring my body. The second my head hit the pillow, he turned me over so my back was plastered to his chest, his arm cinched tightly around my waist. He pressed a soft kiss to my neck. ‘Relax.’
‘Uh, huh.’ My body obviously wasn’t getting the message because it remained wound tight as a spring.
I’d never cuddled with a guy before. Never let them hold me like this as we drifted off to sleep.
And a tiny part of my head—that was loopy with the sex hormones—started cheering. Lord, this was comfortable.
His heat warmed every inch of my body. The soft, fresh laundry scent that I was realising was just him, filled my nostrils and slowed my erratic heart beat.
If this is what I’d been missing all those years… that was my last thought as I drifted off to sleep.