Chapter 30 #2
“Ro,” Theo said, pushing himself up to sitting, Rowan in his lap.
He wrapped his arms around Rowan’s waist and held on to him as he wiggled his legs free and wrapped them around Theo’s back.
They were tangled like two pretzels. Like a pile of necklaces at the bottom of his mom’s jewelry box.
It might have been messy getting where they were, but they were stuck like that forever.
“I’m not kidding,” Rowan insisted.
“I know. I don’t think you are. Exaggerating, maybe…”
“Teddy, c’mon. I’m trying to say something here.”
In the last handful of months, Rowan had really shown up for him.
He’d tried to be as direct in his communication as possible.
He’d showed Theo that things are different now that they’re adults.
And he’d shown Theo over and over the regret he carried over the way their respective professional careers started, and their relationship ended.
In turn, deciding to bury the hatchet and look his own shitty teenage behavior in the face made him feel lighter than he had in a long time. Being with Rowan made him feel like he was a cracked teapot that was getting glued back together.
“I would have been pretty heartbroken to watch you and Felix win the Cup together,” Theo admitted, in the name of transparency. Rowan laughed.
“I know. I don’t blame you.”
“Not that you didn’t deserve it. I watched so many Victory games over the last eight years, and you and Felix really put on a clinic every night.
” Theo had a measure of jealousy around Felix still.
Felix got to be Rowan’s best friend for some important years Theo missed out on.
But the thing that he and Felix undeniably had in common was that no matter how good at hockey either of them were, they would never be the best player when playing on the same team as Rowan.
“You watched my games?”
“You didn’t know that?”
“I thought you were angry with me.”
“I was. But ever since I met you, there has been a large chunk of my brain reserved for Thinking About Rowan Foley , and it has never gone away.”
Rowan’s arms were tight around Theo’s shoulders.
They had both shaved their playoff beards, and while Theo’s was already on its way back, the unstoppable force of his life and reason he usually didn’t shave in general, Rowan’s face was still bare and smooth.
It suited him much better than the scraggly beard he’d been rocking for weeks.
“I love you,” he told Theo, his words holding the cumulative weight of their journey. It was a different love than it had been those many years ago. It was stronger now, settled. It was built on honesty, and trust, and forgiveness.
“I love you, babe. Are you going to let me fuck you while Vic is home?”
Rowan laughed like it wasn’t something he had a little hang-up about. If he didn’t feel comfortable with it, Theo was happy to just nap next to him. But he had a little energy left, and he wanted to use it up by making Rowan come.
“Yes,” he said, wiggling a little in Theo’s lap.
“Does the presence of you in my lap mean you want to ride me?” They hadn’t done that yet, and he couldn’t pretend his dick wasn’t interested in the idea.
“Umm…”
“Umm yes or umm no? If not, it’s no big deal.”
“I kind of like…when you’re on top of me.” Rowan looked mortified admitting that.
“Are you telling me,” Theo asked, flipping Rowan onto his back so he could hover over him, the way Rowan apparently liked, “that you’re a pillow princess, babe?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Rowan said, but he didn’t deny it. That was fine by Theo. If Rowan wanted to lie there and look pretty, Theo was going to make sure he rocked his world.
Rowan’s confidence, bravado, and expertise on the ice was nothing to scoff at.
But while Theo was so proud of Rowan, a selfish part of him was glad that there were things than he was better at.
With practice, Rowan would gain confidence in bed too, but Theo would be content if Rowan always wanted him to do all of the work.
He grazed his lips over Rowan’s, pleased when Rowan chased the kiss to deepen it. The legs he had around Theo’s waist tightened, and Theo understood the need to be as close to each other as possible.
“Alright, alright,” he said, pulling back from their kiss to dig condoms and lube out of his nightstand. Rowan’s legs remained where they were, keeping them together.
He knew they needed to be quiet, both to be good roommates, and because Theo knew Rowan would be mortified if Vic made a comment about hearing them, so he went slow, reaching behind Rowan with slick fingers to tease him open. He felt Rowan’s body tense.
“You gotta relax for me, baby,” Theo coaxed.
Rowan took a deep breath. He was still new at this, and Theo wasn’t interested in rushing it.
He took his time with Rowan, listening carefully for his quiet noises as he pumped his fingers in and out of him.
He wanted Rowan to start enjoying himself before giving him his dick.
In the meantime, he watched Rowan’s face. The flutter of his eyelashes, the way his mouth parted in an almost silent moan. He didn’t rush Theo through his prep, and Theo let himself enjoy the process until his dick was so hard he thought he might explode. Rowan’s cheeks were rosy and beautiful.
“You ready?”
“Fuck yes,” Rowan whispered, just to the space between them.
Theo figured out the condom and some more lube, trying to let Rowan continue to hang on to him with his legs. He needed the closeness in that moment, and Theo was stupidly grateful for it. He wouldn’t have asked to be plastered to Rowan like this, but he needed it just as much as Rowan did.
Theo lined himself up with Rowan’s opening, and slowly pressed the head of his dick into him, his eyes finding Rowan’s. Rowan was looking right back at him. His dark, intense eyes carried a softness that Theo had never seen anywhere outside of being alone with him.
He captured Rowan’s lips in a kiss, as Rowan used his legs to try to pull Theo into him more quickly. Theo wrapped one of his arms around Rowan, pressing a hand to the small of his back. “Be patient,” Theo encouraged.
“No.”
“I’m going to make it worth your while,” Theo promised. He eased in and out, hips shifting in a somewhat loosened lock of Rowan’s legs. He took a breath when he was fully seated and pressed his forehead to Rowan’s.
“I know we’re as close as we can be, but I want to be closer,” Rowan said.
“Every day we’re together, we’re closer.”
“You’re signing your contract extension, right?”
Theo laughed. He was balls deep in Rowan, and he still wanted to talk about hockey. To some extent, Theo thought talking about their relationship would always include talking about hockey.
“Six years,” Theo said. “Probably. There’s some stuff to iron out before I sign, but winning the Cup this year was great timing.”
“No-movement clause?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“Then we’ll both have six years left as Serpents.”
Rowan wanted to hold on to Theo the way he knew how to.
With hockey contracts. It may seem a little clinical to other people, but to Theo, he knew this was Rowan’s version of romance.
Especially given their history. Rowan making sure they would be together and, with a no-movement clause, couldn’t be torn apart again against their will.
“We have a lot of time to win the Cup again,” Theo said. He started thrusting into Rowan slowly, softly. He wanted to pause time and live in this moment as reigning Cup winners, tangled together physically and legally.
Rowan’s mouth parted as he started shifting his own hips, working himself back against Theo. The hand Theo had on his lower back guided them together with the precision to make Rowan gasp.
“I thought you wanted me to do all the work.”
“You were barely doing anything,” Rowan complained.
God, Theo loved this boy. Rowan could be frustrating and stubborn, his thoughts and emotions opaque, his focus pointed at hockey and hockey only.
But Rowan knew Theo down to his bones. Rowan made room for him.
Rowan had followed him in a sport that makes it notoriously difficult to choose who you play with.
When they were younger, Rowan had accidentally made Theo feel expendable. This season, he’d made Theo feel whole.
Theo kept thrusting in time with Rowan’s movements. His tight heat felt like heaven. In bed together, everything made sense. The two of them being together forever was completely possible.
Looking at Rowan became overwhelming, and Theo tucked his face into Rowan’s warm neck, the smell of him grounding and comforting.
Even if he smelled mostly like Old Spice body wash.
Rowan could afford bougie shower products, but he still used the same shit he did when he was seventeen.
As much as he claimed he wasn’t superstitious, Theo knew better.
Rowan was still holding on to his shoulders with a death grip, so Theo adjusted them a bit, sliding an arm under Rowan’s shoulders both to hold him close, and to brace himself above him a bit, and took his other hand from his lower back so he could wrap it around Rowan’s dick.
Theo liked listening carefully for the quiet sounds Rowan made, and he gasped when Theo started jerking him. Their rhythm sped up, and Theo was careful to make sure that the headboard was quiet and the bed wasn’t squeaking.
“Teddy,” Rowan whined. He didn’t have to tell Theo he was close. When he came, he came with a long, drawn-out, but still quite, quiet moan.
“That’s right, baby,” Theo said, jerking him through it, letting every last drop of come drip onto his stomach.
Theo pulled out gently and slid his condom off.
He jerked himself off quickly, the image before him of Rowan, sweaty, red-faced, and covered in his own come more than enough to push Theo over the edge.
“Fuuuuuck,” Rowan said, finally letting his limbs relax so Theo could get up and get a washcloth. “My fucking legs are jelly.”
“Yeah, ’cause you used more leg muscle to hold on to me than you use on ice in three periods.”
“Stuff it.”
“Wasn’t that what I was just doing?” That earned Theo an eye roll in return. He cleaned Rowan up and manhandled the two of them under the covers. Rowan tossed one of his legs over Theo’s thigh as he curled onto his chest, and Theo pressed at least a dozen kisses to his hair.
“You know, I always thought I was cursed to keep padding my stats, to keep being called a superstar, but that the cost of being good at hockey meant I would never be happy. And you may never be recognized for how great of a player you are, but you did get to be happy. I never thought we would get both, together.”
That hit Theo like a ton of bricks. He had spent so many years pitying himself and wanting the success Rowan had, and Rowan was out in Texas envying what Theo had ended up with.
“Life is so fucking weird.”
“And really good sometimes,” Rowan said.
“Yeah. Really, really good.”