BRNO’S BEST #1
?íma
official minutes. day one of the semifinal era. the committee reconvenes with a headache it declines to explain
item one. attendance. thirty men survived the night. the shirt did not
Novotny
the shirt will turn up
Polá?ek
the shirt was last seen leaving with the kit man’s cone. they looked happy together
Novotny
one more word about the cone and I release the footage of you doing the handshake with the night porter
Polá?ek
that handshake was dignified
?íma
item two. recovery. pool at ten. attendance is not optional. this is the captain speaking through me, the way saints speak through weeping statues
Hájek
pool at ten. food at twelve. film at four. that is the whole day. anyone who front-loads his legs answers to me
Horak
did anyone else’s family send the clip of me crying? my mother has sent it four times. with commentary
Polá?ek
seven time zones watched it live, kid. there is no containing it now
?íma
item three. Horak cried in high definition and a nation loved him for it. wear it like a cap. the record certainly will
Ková?
eggs are back to normal. investigation closed
?íma
fifteen days of proceedings and the eggs case closes in one line. the committee notes the verdict and finds it suspiciously tidy
Ková?
noted
?íma
item four. Italy has been eliminated from this World Cup by this squad. I said it out loud to the mirror this morning for wellness reasons and the mirror agreed
Novotny
SAY IT AGAIN
?íma
no. rationing. it has to last five more days
Novotny
then the bar. tell the bar one
?íma
the bourbon report is a breakfast item. there is a ceiling fan involved and the fan deserves a seated audience. that is all I will say in print
Novotny
I am already seated
Polá?ek
he is standing in the lift. I am watching him type
?íma
minutes concluded. pool at ten. hydrate like professionals and comb your hair, the cameras found us this morning and they are not giving us back