Chapter 6 Willow
Willow
It’s not possible.
Luca is staring at me with those impossibly golden eyes with tiny flecks of green that you can only see in certain lights. He’s watching me with a wary expression as I sit frozen in my seat. There’s no way it can be him.
My phantom.
I take a deep breath and focus on the rise of my chest as oxygen passes through my lungs. It’s not him. It can’t be. I would know if it was him. Right? There’s no way I could live with someone for four years and not know that he’s the man submitting to me once a month at Euphoria.
Only… why the hell would he be muttering my phantom’s safe word?
“Willow?” Luca asks again, glancing at our parents before focusing back on me. “Do you need medical attention?”
That snaps me out of my stupor. “No,” I gasp out. “No, I’m fine.” I reach for my glass of water, but my hands are so shaky that I knock it over. “Shit.”
Mum gasps, grabbing her linen napkin and mopping up the mess while George signals for the waiter. “Honestly, Willow. Of all the clumsy things … Sometimes I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”
My entire face is in flames, and I duck my head, hiding behind my hair. I wish a black hole would open up and swallow me. Anything would be better than sitting here wondering if I’ve been fucking my stepbrother for the last six months while being chewed out by my mother.
“It was an accident, Gwendoline,” Luca says, his voice laced with thinly veiled aggression. “It’s not like she did it on purpose.”
I peek through my blonde strands taking in his tense jaw and narrowed eyes.
He always keeps his head buried in his phone and ignores the drama around him whenever Mum makes her passive-aggressive comments.
His indifference never bothered me before—the less attention he paid to me, the more I could blend into the shadows at school.
Anyone who didn’t know us well would never even know we’re step-siblings.
“Don’t speak to your mother like that,” George snaps.
“Stepmother,” Luca grits out. “And maybe you should tell her not to speak down to her daughter like that.” He jerks to his feet and holds out his hand to his manager who shakes it, looking as if he’d rather be anywhere else. “Get the paperwork ready. I’ll come in tomorrow and sign it.”
Without a backward glance, he stalks out of the restaurant, leaving our table in shocked silence. Everyone, that is, except my mother.
“Well, I never!” she exclaims as she clutches at her pearls. “Felix, I am so sorry you had to bear witness to that unfortunate outburst.”
I push the tortellini around my plate, but I’ve lost my appetite.
My mind’s a mess, and I keep darting glances over my shoulder towards the door while Mum and George try to salvage the meal.
I can’t focus on the conversation around me.
There’s an unsettled feeling in my stomach, and I need to know whether I’m going crazy or whether Luca really is my mysterious phantom.
When I climb to my feet, Mum glares up at me. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Ignoring her, I force a smile at Luca’s manager and say, “It was nice to meet you.”
He nods in return, and I follow Luca’s path, not daring to glance back at the table as I leave the restaurant.
Knowing Gwendoline, there will be a price to pay for my insolence, but right now, my only concern is getting to Euphoria and hopefully finding out that the whispered voice of my stepbrother is not the same as the man I’ve been acting out my fantasies with.
My phone burns a hole in my pocket as I recall the messages I’ve received from the phantom this week, begging me to meet him tonight. Is that where Luca has gone now? Were those the plans he was talking about earlier?
Pulling the device from my pocket, I dial Leni’s number.
“We have a potential problem,” I say when she answers. “I need you to pick me up at the corner of Talbert and Market Streets … and bring me a change of clothes. I’m coming to Euphoria.”
I need to know, one way or another.
Being the best friend that she is, Leni doesn’t ask questions when she pulls up to the kerb ten minutes later. I climb into the front seat and slip on my seatbelt, my heart racing. As she pulls back into the traffic, I blurt, “I think the phantom is Luca.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Leni turns to me, bug-eyed, the car swerving slightly, and I brace myself against the dash.
“You can’t just climb into my car and hit me with that bombshell.
Why do you think it’s him? You’ve lived with the guy for almost four years, surely you would have realised by now if you were bumping uglies with your fine as fuck stepbrother. ”
The unease builds deep in my stomach, and I breathe deeply through my nose to stave off the impending panic attack.
“We’ve barely spoken since I moved in, especially after everything with Breanna. I try to avoid him as much as I can, and when we’re eating at the dinner table, he usually has his head buried in his phone, watching Primary League highlights or some bullshit.”
“Premier League,” Leni corrects me with a smirk. “Your family is so dysfunctional.”
“Focus on the problem at hand.” I swat at her. “He used our safe word, then he whispered to me at the restaurant, and I could have sworn it was him.”
She laughs as she rubs her arm. “He whispered to you? What kind of kinky shit was going down at that table?”
“Not helping.” I groan and bury my head in my hands. “This is serious, Len. If you think about it, the height, build, and colouring match, and… Oh my god.”
“What?”
“Room thirteen.”
Her face scrunches up in confusion. “Room thirteen?”
“Room thirteen! The room he always rents for us. Leni, it’s his freaking jersey number.”
“Holy shit,” she breathes out. “Luca’s the phantom!”
“What am I going to do?”
Leni thinks for a moment. “Do you think he knows it’s you?”
“I don’t think so,” I say with a shrug. “I mean, he didn’t act any differently towards me.”
Apart from checking to see if I was okay. But that was only because of what I shared earlier with him in the car… right?
“Do you want him to know it’s you?”
My stomach backflips as I consider her question.
Do I want him to know it’s me? I freaked out last month when he suggested we meet up outside Euphoria, and that was before I knew it was him.
I meant what I said that night. Someone like him wouldn’t be interested in someone like me in the real world.
This only proves I’m right. I’ve lived with the guy for four years, and tonight is the first time we’ve had a real conversation.
Then it hits me like a ton of bricks.
“It doesn’t matter if I want him to know it’s me or not. Luca’s leaving Beckford.”
“Leaving? What do you mean, he’s leaving? There’s still a couple of months before graduation.”
I smile despite the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. “He’s moving to the UK to play football.” I may not know him very well, but I know how hard he’s worked to achieve his dreams. He’s always working out in the home gym or discussing his meal plans with our housekeeper.
“Wow. That’s… something.” She’s silent for a moment before she says, “You don’t know the phantom is Luca. Not one hundred percent, anyway. I say we go to Euphoria as planned so we can scope him out, do some proper recon. If it turns out you’re right, we can decide what we’re going to do about it.”
I shake my head. “Take me home.”
“Wil—”
“Take me home, Leni. Please.”
Something in my voice halts her protests, and she nods, turning down the next street.
The farther we get from Euphoria, the easier it is to breathe.
Luca is leaving in a week. Regardless of whether he’s the phantom or not, no one besides me and Leni ever needs to know.
He doesn’t need to know. He can move to the UK without knowing that the woman he’s submitting to is his stepsister. Let him keep the fantasy of me alive.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Leni asks as she pulls up in front of George’s ridiculously oppressive mansion.
I don’t trust my voice or my ability not to burst into tears, so I simply nod and climb out of the car.
Before I can shut the door, she calls out, “Whether you decide to talk to Luca about this or not, you know I’m always here for you, babe. Ride or die.”
“Ride or die.” I blow her a kiss before turning and entering the dark house.
I’m making the right decision. With Luca leaving, there’s no need to tell him who I am. It’s not as if we have a future. Our arrangement was always going to end one way or another. Best to walk away now before it gets any more complicated than it already is.
If only it didn’t hurt so much.