Chapter 12 Willow #2
I stare at her dumbfounded. “What? No. I don’t know.” Groaning, I cover my face with my hands. “Why would you ask me that? I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because it will never work.”
“So, what was that little show back there?”
I huff out an annoyed sigh as we pause outside the door to Leni’s theatre class. “He’s trying to prove we can make this work in the real world.”
“You looked like a cute couple to me,” she says with a shrug.
Narrowing my eyes at her, I scoff. “In what universe do Luca and I look good together? He’s one of the hottest guys on campus, and I’m just—”
“A smoking hot bombshell,” she finishes for me. “Willow, I wish you’d see yourself the way we see you, and not the cruel words your mum spews at you.”
“Whatever,” I reply, my cheeks heating.
“Look, you still have time, right?”
I shake my head. “Only one week.”
“Then spend it with that sexy stepbrother of yours. Don’t worry about what anyone else says. If it feels right to go with him, then go, but don’t spend the rest of your life regretting the what-if because you were too scared to try. You deserve love, my friend, and I want you to be happy.”
I pull her in for a hug. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Let me know what you decide but know that I’m firmly in the Happy Willow camp.”
As I leave her and head to my music composition class, my head is spinning, and my heart is torn.
I don’t want to say goodbye to Luca. He makes me feel seen for the first time in my life, and I believe him when he tells me he wants this.
But it’s so hard to ignore the self-doubt tugging inside me, telling me I’m not good enough for him.
The confident angel from the club is a persona I’ve been playing. It’s not who I am in real life. Willow Hepburn cares about what other people think, and she’s terrified of not being who he needs.
Luca is waiting for me on the steps of the arts building when classes end, his face breaking into a warm smile when he sees me push through the door. He closes the distance between us, pulling me into his arms and dipping his head to kiss me.
“How’s my girl?” he murmurs against my lips.
My cheeks flush. “Luca,” I warn, shoving at his chest, but he doesn’t budge.
“Angel,” he mimics, pulling back only far enough to grin down at me.
“People are watching.”
“Let them.” He presses his lips to the top of my head. “I told you I don’t care what anyone thinks.”
Gazing up at him, I see the truth in his words. “You really are serious about this, aren’t you? About us.”
He tucks my hair behind my ears and brushes his lips over mine. “Absolutely. Are you ready to go see your course advisor?”
I’m tempted to shake my head, to call this off now before he can break my heart, but to my surprise, I say, “Okay. Let’s do this.”
The massive grin that breaks out on his face causes my chest to expand, and I let him take my hand in his and pull me along to the administration building. On the way, he tells me about a conference call he and his coach had with his new club.
“They’re going to set us up with an apartment in Hurworth-on-Tees near Rockliffe Park where we train, and I’ll start training with the first team as soon as we get there,” he says, his voice full of that energy he gets when he’s talking about football.
“I’ll play a couple of games with the academy team before I get my shot in the Championship.
But that’s okay, I’ll need time to settle into the style of play over there. ”
“That’s amazing,” I tell him, even though I only understand half of what he’s saying.
“I’ll learn from players I grew up watching on TV. How wild is that?”
“Not that wild,” I say with a half-smile. “You’ve worked hard for it.”
Over the past four years, we may not have spoken much, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen his dedication to be the best he can be—strict meal plans, long hours of practice and conditioning—there’s no doubt Luca will succeed in his dreams.
“It still doesn’t feel real. Championship football, living in England, getting a proper go at it.” He chuckles, nudging my shoulder gently with his as he squeezes my hand. “But the best part about it all is having someone to share it with. I’m glad it’s you.”
Warmth spreads through me, and I suddenly feel stupid for doubting myself—for doubting us. Luca hasn’t once wavered from his declarations over the weekend. He wants me to be a part of this. He wants me.
I pause, a sudden fear washing over me. “What if they won’t let me finish my course online?”
He frowns, like the thought never occurred to him, that he thought this conversation would simply be a formality. “Then you finish your studies before coming to join me.”
My insecurity rears its ugly head. Three months stuck in that house with Mum and George without him. What if he meets someone during our time apart? The thought sours my stomach. I don’t want him to be with anyone else. Even if I don’t think I deserve him.
“Hey,” he says softy, cupping my cheeks and bringing my gaze up to meet his. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Wait and see what your advisor says.”
“This is crazy,” I tell him again for the hundredth time.
“Yeah, well, I’m crazy about you.”
A smile tugs at my lips. “You’re so cheesy.”
Luca grins and shrugs. “Whatever happens, Willow, I want you in the UK with me. Whether it’s in one week or three months, promise me you’ll give us a shot.”
I gaze up at him, his eyes full of a certainty I don’t feel yet, but I want to.
When Luca discovered I was his angel from Euphoria, he could have easily shut it down and run away to the UK, leaving me firmly in the past, but he hasn’t.
He’s been full steam ahead with us having a future together.
I need to harness some of his confidence that what we have is real.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I promise.”
His grin softens, and he leans in to press his lips to my forehead. “I’m going to spend every day showing you how beautiful you are, and how much I want you.”
My heart hammers against my ribs when we reach the steps of the administration building. Luca squeezes my hand again, giving me a reassuring nod before I walk through the sliding glass doors.
The reception area is quiet, the only sound the hum of the printer and the shuffle of papers behind the desk. My advisor’s office is down the hall.
“Do you want me to wait out here?” Luca asks.
I hesitate for a second, then shake my head. “No, come with me. I need you.”
His eyes flare with heat at my words, and I get a heady sense of power from causing that reaction.
My eyes dart to the office staff, who are all busily immersed in their work, then I grip the front of Luca’s shirt and pull him down for a kiss, my core pulsing at his soft groan when my tongue slides against his.
We haven’t had sex since our parents walked in on us on Saturday, and I’m suddenly desperate to feel him deep inside me.
He squeezes my hip, and I’m ready to blow off my meeting in favour of finding an empty classroom, but he gently pulls away with a soft press of his lips to mine. A small, needy whine escapes me, and he laughs.
“Meeting first,” he tells me, “then I’m taking you home and letting you do naughty things to me.”
The meeting with my course advisor is positive. I’ve already completed my music exams, and I can complete my last two assignments online. Because of my impeccable grades and work ethic, he tells me if my teachers sign off on it, I can complete the rest of my course via correspondence.
There’s nothing holding me back from leaving with Luca now except my own damn insecurities.
Luca leaves me to my thoughts as he drives us home, and I’m grateful to him. He’s spent the last three days telling me how much he wants me to come with him, but he knows the final decision has to be mine.
After pulling up in our driveway, he shuts off the ignition and turns to look at me. “Where’s your head at, Angel?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly.
He nods slowly. “Can you tell me what’s holding you back?”
Playing with the hem of my Beckford U hoodie, I avoid eye contact when I say, “I’m scared of what happens if I move my entire life overseas and it doesn’t work out between us.”
Luca’s quiet for a moment, and I wonder if he’s questioning whether I’m too much trouble.
Eventually, he releases a heavy sigh. “Willow, these past three days with you have been my happiest since Mum died. I finally feel like someone sees the real me. But I won’t force you to come with me.
If you need time, I can give you that, but I don’t like the idea of you staying in this house with the way your mother speaks to you.
If you want to go to LA for a bit, and see if that’s what you really want, then I’ll pay for you to go, and we can do the long distance thing for a while.
I can come visit you at the end of the season.
The main thing is I want you to want this as much as I do. ”
Why does he have to be so goddamn perfect? He’s offering to sacrifice what he wants in order for me to be happy. No one has ever done that for me before. My stomach twists at the thought of being away from him, and I know I never really had any other option.
Groaning, I bury my head in my hands. “I don’t want to do long distance with you.”
There’s another torturous, drawn-out silence, and I struggle to contain my panic. I’m screwing this up already. My words aren’t coming out right, and my thoughts are in complete chaos.
“Okay,” he finally says, and the pain in his voice tears me up inside. When I chance a glance at him, he’s staring out the window “If that’s what you—”
“I want you, Luca.” Tears blur my vision, and I remove my glasses, swiping the moisture away. “I want to come with you.”
He clears his throat, his hands flexing on the steering wheel. “But?”
I shake my head, choking out a half-laugh, half-sob. “But nothing. I’m coming with you.”
Luca slowly turns his head to look at me. “Seriously?”
Biting my lip, I nod. “Seriously.”
Cupping my cheeks in his strong hands, he searches my eyes. “You’re not going to change your mind?”
“No,” I whisper, gripping his wrists. “I’m all in.”
A look of relief flashes over his face, and he crushes his lips to mine. The intensity with which he kisses me only confirms how much he wants me, and I know I’m making the right decision.