Chapter 21 Taylor
TAYLOR
The time between our first real date and Christmas seems to fly past. I’m busy with the shop, and Roan and the family take turns selling the last of the Christmas trees.
But we go out whenever we can, even if it’s just for coffee at the diner, where Annie has a display of my bookmarks by the cash register.
Roan watches me stir my coffee for a second and then pour in creamer afterward so that it swirls around in black and white circles before the whole mixture turns light brown.
It makes him chuckle, but I notice he’s started doing the same thing.
And I count that small thing a big victory because there’s no reason to make swirls in your coffee except for fun.
And Roan is more fun these days, even if it’s a journey getting there sometimes.
But the journey is rewarding, because the more I get to know this hopeful and happy version of Roan Connelly the more I love him.
Meg surprised me the other day by asking if she could bring a friend from school to the bookshop with her.
Seeing her curled up on that couch with another little girl her own age, both laughing over graphic novels made my heart smile.
She’s only ten, but I feel like I’m seeing flashes of the young woman she’s going to become one day, and I’m so proud of her.
On Christmas Eve, the three of us work in the shop until long after dark.
There are plenty of last-minute shoppers who are happy to find a store that’s open late on Christmas Eve.
I get a real kick out of hearing Meg and Roan ask questions and make book suggestions to some of the customers who maybe wouldn’t have picked the bookshop if they’d had other options.
They both have some pretty good ideas, and they definitely know what stock is here since they helped me unpack most of it.
We’re all yawning by the time we flip the sign and I tell them good night.
When I get back upstairs by myself, I feel a little sad about not seeing my family again this year.
I call my Grammy and she talks my ear off for a bit before passing the phone around.
They’re all happy for me, and though they’ll miss me tomorrow, it’s also a happy feeling this time.
They know that missing the holiday with them this year isn’t because of my boss in the city, but because of my own little shop.
And they know I’ll spend tomorrow with the Connellys, not by myself in a New York apartment.
I finally drift off in the wee hours of what is now officially Christmas, as excited as I used to be as a little girl waiting for Santa.
Only this year, I’m filled with anticipation about Christmas on the farm.
I know I should be nervous over celebrating the holidays with my boyfriend’s family for the first time.
But we’ve been spending time together all month, so there’s nothing to do but look forward to good food and good company.
Christmas morning it’s snowing hard, and I start to worry that maybe Roan won’t come for me after all.
I spend a few minutes at my bedroom window, watching the big lacy flakes swirl down over the town, putting a fresh carpet of white over the street and the sidewalks, and I remind myself that it’s still going to be a magical Christmas, even if I spend it alone.
I shower, dress, and head down to the shop, trying to get excited about curling up on the couch with a book myself.
But Roan does come, bright and early, and he’s by himself.
“Meg is helping out with breakfast,” he tells me as he hugs me close and then pulls back to press his lips to my forehead.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t come,” I admit.
“Why would you think that?” he asks me, looking concerned as he cups my cheek in his big, rough hand.
I gesture at the weather outside and he laughs.
“Only a city girl who drives a ridiculous toy car would think a little snow was a problem,” he teases me.
“My MG is not ridiculous,” I protest, smiling.
“Well, it’s impractical for winters around here,” he allows. “But it’ll be fun to drive in the spring. And for now, you have a chauffeur.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh, and I’m so delighted that he’s in a fun and teasing mood.
“This is the only time I’m going to have you to myself all day,” he says sadly a few minutes later, as he helps me up into his truck.
The truck is nice and warm and it smells like his spicy aftershave.
“We have plenty of time for dates after today,” I remind him as I fasten my seatbelt.
“No more working in the lot until next year,” he says as he gets in. “And can you close the shop for a day sometimes?”
“I was thinking about picking one day of the week to take off,” I tell him, excited that he brought it up. “If it’s in my posted hours, no one will be disappointed. And maybe I’ll eventually hire a helper.”
“That’s a great idea,” he tells me. “I’ll have more time off in the winter than any other time of year. Maybe we can go hiking and horseback riding.”
“The state park?” I ask.
“Exactly,” he tells me. “You’ll love it.”
“I don’t have the best sense of direction,” I admit.
“You don’t need it,” he says. “You have me. Besides, there are trails. And if we take horses, they know the way.”
He pulls out onto Celestial Lane and heads out of town as snow falls all around his truck.
“Music?” I ask.
“Definitely,” he tells me.
I lean forward and press the button and instantly Frank Sinatra is singing his jaunty version of “Jingle Bells.”
“This was Meg’s favorite forever,” Roan says, shaking his head as he thinks about a younger version of his daughter.
“I wish I’d known her when she was really little,” I say without thinking.
“Don’t let my mom hear you say that,” Roan says. “She’s got about a million photo albums. You’ll be looking at them all day, and listening to our old stories.”
“That sounds really nice,” I tell him honestly.
“I guess,” he says, looking a little stormier than he has lately.
“What?” I ask.
“She’ll probably show you my baby pictures too,” he grumbles.
“That’s okay with me,” I laugh. “I like all baby pictures.”
He goes quiet though, and suddenly it hits me that there might be something genuinely uncomfortable for him in Meg’s baby pictures.
“I know Erica was part of your life for a long time,” I tell him. “She’ll be in those photos, and it won’t bother me a bit.”
“Really?” he asks.
“Really,” I tell him. “I’m grateful to her, you know?”
“Why?” he asks.
“Well, first of all because she brought Meg into the world,” I say. “With your help, of course.”
He nods, a faint smile on his lips now.
“And secondly because she set the bar extra low for me,” I tease him. “I just have to stick around and I’m absolutely killing it in comparison, right?”
For a second there’s only silence and I go cold, terrified that I’ve crossed a line. Does he still love her? Is it still too soon to joke about her leaving?
Then he roars with laughter and the blood rushes back into my body.
By the time we get up the mountain to the long driveway of the farm, we’re both laughing and singing along with the radio.
I grab the bag of presents that I had stowed at my feet, and hope that no one minds books for Christmas. I didn’t have time to shop anywhere else, but I put a lot of thought into each gift. I guess this will be the test of how well I really know Roan and his family.
As soon as we get inside, everyone greets us and Meg pulls me into a big hug. She releases me, but her grandmother is right there to wrap me up in her arms while the dog circles us like he’s trying to herd us all together.
“We’re so glad you’re here, Taylor,” she says. “I owe your parents a big thank you for letting us have you today.”
The mention of my parents makes me miss them, but I know they’re having fun with the rest of my family.
“Who’s ready for gingerbread pancakes?” Roan’s dad yells out.
The whole family moves to the big table, and the next thing I know, we’re passing around bowls of fruit and a carafe of heated maple syrup.
There’s a moment of complete silence as we all give thanks before digging in.
Then there’s chatter and laughter over the clinking of silverware.
This family is good at lingering over meals. Phil brings out more rounds of coffee and pancakes while everyone relaxes and catches up.
When it’s time for presents, I’m relieved that my gifts are received with great enthusiasm.
Roan’s family gives me a big box that I certainly wasn’t expecting, and inside is the warmest looking coat I’ve ever seen, with a fluffy, faux-fur hood.
“Oh, wow,” I groan, cuddling it like it’s a puppy.
“You’re an Angel Mountain girl now,” Ellie says firmly. “So you need an Angel Mountain coat.”
“This is the best present ever,” I tell her, meaning it.
“My dad has another present for you,” Meg blurts out suddenly, her eyes shining.
I look to Roan and his jaw is tense again, almost like the day we met.
I wonder what’s got him so on edge.
“But we need to set something up first,” Phil says, hopping up from his chair.
“Wow,” I say. Whatever this is all about, they’ve clearly put some thought into it.
We all follow Phil over to the kitchen counter, where he’s setting up a laptop.
I look to Roan again, but he’s looking at Meg, as if in question.
She’s smiling up at him and she nods once, and then rolls her eyes, like she thinks he’s silly to worry.
I’m busy trying to figure out what in the world the two of them are silently discussing when I hear what sounds like my mother’s voice. It’s so unexpected that it takes me a second to realize that it really is her, and it’s coming from the computer on the counter.
“Hello there,” she says brightly. “It’s so nice to see you all.”
“Oh, wow,” Grammy adds. “What a nice kitchen.”
“Hi,” Ellie says as I hurry over. “Thanks for taking our call.”
“How did you guys set this up?” I ask.
“Oh, I had to talk to your dad about… never mind,” Roan says, clamming up suddenly.
“Merry Christmas,” I tell my family, deciding to deal with Roan being weird later. “How are you guys?”