8 #2
There are times in my life when I wish I were deaf so I didn’t hear the shit people say about me. But then there are times like this when I think I actually am deaf because there’s no way I heard her right.
She’s wondering why I want to do this with her? Who made this beautiful girl think she should be confused about someone wanting to be with her? She should have laughed in my face when I brought up my proposition. She should not be questioning her worth to a guy like me.
But I can’t just flat out tell her it’s because I’ve always wanted to date her, and I’ve never had the guts to ask her. Or that I think she could be the someone who helps me out of my dark mind. So I go another route.
“After what happened, I figured you’d rather not humiliate yourself in front of someone else.” Shouldn’t have worded it that way, but it’s too late now. “Someone who might not be as understanding as I am.”
At least that was better, but she still doesn’t look convinced. Intrigued sure. But not convinced.
“Also, if we do this, when you go to have a real relationship, you won’t be so scared to kiss someone or have sex because you’ve actually done it. And you’ll be able to have a normal relationship with Mr. Right.”
Fuck that Mr. Right bullshit. If there were such a thing, I wouldn’t be the way I am, and we would have been dating for the past few years.
Oh my god, I’m fucking delusional.
“What about your bet?” That’s the first thing she asks. Which, again, is not the response I was expecting, but it’s still not a no.
“I wasn’t getting any money out of it anyway. No matter if they were right or wrong, one of them is getting all the money. So I don’t give a shit what they think about this.”
I don’t give a shit what they think about anything. The only reason they made this bet is because they want to make money off of me. But they aren’t the first. And they probably won’t be the last.
“Think of it as a friends-with-benefits situation,” I add, just hoping she’ll finally answer me.
She bites her lip for a second, an action that shouldn’t affect me as much as it does. This is why I don’t spend much time around her. She’s already fucking with my brain more than I’ve ever allowed her. And now I’m asking her to date me? I’m so fucked.
“So what, is this just until we have sex?” she finally says, but it’s another damn question. I just want to know if I should bury myself in my childhood backyard or if I can come back to campus tomorrow. But she needs every last detail first, I guess.
“No. Graduation.”
That makes her react. Her mouth falls open, and her eyes widen. “Graduation?” her voice shakes, “Huxley, that’s nine months.”
“I know. I can count too, Valentine.”
“I’m just saying, do you really want to do all of this for that long?”
I swear, when I find out who made her feel this way about herself, I’m going to push them off a cliff. But not before I beat the ever-living fuck out of them. I swear I’m not violent, but this girl makes me want to do things I probably shouldn’t.
“You better not go into a real relationship with that mindset,” I try to say lightly to ease the tension. “Not unless you want to break up quickly.”
“I’m serious,” she snaps. Not so much in anger but more in confusion. “Why would you want to pretend to date someone for over half a year?”
Because I’d get to be with you.
I shake that off quickly and shrug. “Gives me an excuse to not feed into my friend's stupid bet.”
She frowns. “Is that a good enough reason? I mean, you could just not have sex.”
“Ha! Please!” I scoff. “The girls around here would never leave me alone. If I have a fake girlfriend, they’ll at least hold back some.”
Her jaw works as she grinds her teeth. Well fuck, that clearly upset her. I mean, it was a bit arrogant of me, but it’s the truth. Even though I wish it wasn’t.
“Will you?” she asks pointedly.
My eyes narrow. “Will I what?”
She moves her finger back and forth between us. “If we do this, will you actually not have sex with anyone else?”
“I’m not an asshole, Valentina. If we do this, I’d be committed to you and no one else. The whole point of doing this is so I can feel what a real relationship is like. Cheating isn’t part of that.”
My god, this girl. At this point, it feels like she’s just asking questions to drag me along before she eventually turns me down.
All the mild anger in her eyes falls as she looks at her feet. Almost undetectably, she shuffles back a step. But I notice. I notice everything when it comes to her.
My original thought isn’t the case at all. She really just doesn’t know why I’m asking this of her. She grips her left arm tightly and squeezes her eyes shut for a split second.
I wish I had the superpower to read minds just to know what she’s really thinking. Because right now, painfully, I feel like we might be more similar than I originally thought.
She looks up at me and softly says, “Fine.”
My heart nearly jumps out of my chest. “Fine?”
She nods. “You have a deal, Huxley Adams.”
Holy shit. She said yes? A smile pulls on my face, and she weakly gives me one back. Fuck, I need to say something. Or do something.
I lift my hand between us to seal our deal. She glances down for a moment.
“How romantic,” she says dryly.
I lift a brow at her. “Well, I’m not going to give you your first kiss right now, so this is how we are sealing this.”
That makes her pull in a quick breath. Which only tells me that her first will have to wait a while.
Her hand slips into mine just as it did on the first day of class Freshman year. But this time, we aren’t going our separate ways after one conversation. We’re dating. And I’m not fucking this up.