15
Huxley
Fuck. I should have thought this through. Now I have to focus on way too many things at once. One of those things being Valentina’s body pressed up against mine. Luckily, though, my mind is mostly focused on how she could ever think I could be embarrassed by her.
I always thought she would be embarrassed by me. Having to tell people she was my girlfriend and be around me on campus. She’s the one who should want to keep us in the dark. But she thinks I’ll want that? Fuck no. I want to show her off every chance I get.
Her body shifts in front of me, probably a little uncomfortable with how close we are and the fact that she currently can’t see anything. I quickly click through a few more songs and land on one she might know to get us out of this position. For both our sakes.
“This seems more your style.” I remove my hand from her eyes, and she blinks to adjust to the light. “I will say that I have no idea how this song goes. So if it’s a ballad, I’m sorry.”
I hand her the microphone as she continues to stare at the screen. “Why are you sorry for that?” she asks.
“Sometimes those are harder to sing than a more upbeat song,” I tell her honestly. “You have to put more emotion into what you’re singing for it to come off well.”
“So if I’m a tone-deaf, emotionless singer?”
Impossible. “You won’t be.”
“But if I am?”
“Then this will be hilarious,” I try to joke, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes in response. She stares at the screen, and I can practically see her nerves jumping out of her.
I rack my brain for something I can do to make her feel better. If I left the room, I wouldn’t hear her at all. But for some reason, hiding behind her sounds like it will scare her more.
“Come here.” I grab her hand and move us so my back is facing the screen. She stares up at me in confusion, and that only grows when I start to kneel in front of her. I pull on her hand to come down with me, but she pulls back.
“What are you doing?” Fear shines in her voice, and it’s probably because of our position right now.
Me on my knees in front of her. This situation would look romantic if we were actually at that place.
But we are nowhere near getting married, nor will we ever.
And I’m not going to lie, that thought kind of hurts.
“Just trust me, Valentine.” I tug gently on her hand, and she finally gives in, sitting down in front of me so we’re facing each other.
She looks at our surroundings, trying to understand what is happening. “What are we doing on the floor?”
“I want you to look right at me when you sing.”
Her eyes widen. “Fuck that.” She tries to stand, but I grab her shoulders to keep her in place.
“It’s not so I can make fun of you.”
“Then what is it?”
I grip her shoulders a little tighter, hoping she can see that I’m serious. That I’d never make fun of her. That's all I want—for her to know she’s safe here.
“It’s so that way you’re not nervous.”
She frowns. “How does it work?”
Fuck if I know. I just want to be right here in front of her so she knows she’s not alone. So she knows she has nothing to worry about.
I shift closer to her, our knees nearly touching as I take her hand in mine. “Trust me.”
She stares at our hands, pulling in a deep breath that doesn’t calm her. “What if I crash and burn?” she asks softly.
I squeeze her hand, bringing her eyes back to mine. “I run into flames, don’t I?” She smiles, and finally, it’s believable. “Just look at me, alright? You’re going to be great.”
A new round of nerves flashes on her face, but she tries to cover it by glaring at me. “I hate you so much right now,” she says unconvincingly.
I just smile back. “I know.”
The song filters through the room, and she immediately closes her eyes. That at least tells me she knows the song, but it takes away from the full view of her.
She starts to sing, and not being able to see her eyes is the last thing I’m thinking about.
How is it possible for her to be better than I imagined? I thought she’d be good. Like one of those people who’s good at karaoke, but that’s as far as their career goes. But her voice…
You can’t be taught to sing like this. This is a natural talent that people would kill to have. Work endless days on vocal training to get her deeper, almost rough tone. Fine-tune their skills so they hold certain notes but cut off others.
Her emotion and passion behind every word, though? That’s her crowning jewel. You can’t teach something like that. You can try, but you’ll never achieve something this natural. This honest. This soul-baring.
Valentina Demarco is a superstar who had no idea she could even sing.
Her eyes open, and my heart stops. She’s singing directly to me, eyes locked on mine. There’s a hint of fear still there, but that’s being greatly overpowered by something else.
Excitement? Strength? Confidence?
Whatever it is, it looks damn beautiful on her, and I’d give anything to keep her in this state of power.
She lowers the mic, and I realize the song is over. But I don’t want this moment to end. I want to turn the song back on and have her sing it over and over so I can keep watching her in this element.
“Valentina Demarco,” I whisper her name like it’s a secret. Because this version of her is only for me, and I’m taking all of her in. “You are amazing.”
A beautifully wide smile breaks out on her face, her confidence still overflowing. I shrug. “Of course, I already knew that.” She rolls her eyes, but her smile never fades.
I push myself to stand and offer her my hand. “Come on, Love.” She takes it, letting me pull her to her feet. “I think it’s only right that we sing one together now. Don’t you?”
She must be reeling in the moment because she nods immediately. I really thought I would have to do some convincing, but she seems excited, and I’m holding onto this chance while I have it.
I reach around her and grab the remote. “Do you know this one?” The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. Simple, easy to sing.
She looks at the screen. “It was in that one movie, right? With Julia Roberts?”
“Okay, you don’t know this song.” I continue scrolling through songs that would be perfect to sing together, but now I’m pretty sure she won’t know them.
“Let me find one,” she says.
“Nope.”
“Please.” I glance down at her as her brown eyes stare up at me innocently. She’s good.
“Not happening,” I mumble. The thought of her eyes still in my head keeps me from focusing on the songs on the screen.
“Give me that.”
She tries to reach for the remote, but I pull it back before she can, leaving us face-to-face. Her eyes widen, and I can almost hear her heart pounding in her chest from how close we are. I told her I wouldn’t kiss her yet, but fuck if it isn’t tempting right now.
I can’t pull away, and she doesn’t either. I wonder how long we’ll stand like this before one of us moves. Or before one of us gives in.
God, please be the latter. The only problem is that it has to be her who gives in. She has to be ready for this moment.
She looks back at the screen, breaking our connection and allowing me to finally breathe. No one has ever been that close to her before, or they would have folded. It took a lot of strength not to give in to her pull.
“What about that one?” she asks.
I finally look back at the screen to see her suggestion, but none of the songs look familiar. In my distraction, the remote gets pulled from my hands.
I look over at Valentina as she shakes it at me with a cute little smirk on her lips.
“Cheater.”
She just shrugs and happily turns to face the screen again—adorable cheater at that.
“Question.”
“Yes, Love.” I’ll never get tired of calling her that. And by the look on her face, she still hasn’t gotten used to it.
“Have you ever seen any musicals?”
“As in?”
Her eyes dance over the screen, looking for just the right song. “The Greatest Showman.”
“I actually have seen that.”
She lifts an eyebrow at that. “Really? On your own, or did someone tie you down and make you watch it?”
A chuckle moves through my chest. “I heard the songs playing constantly around campus, so I thought I would give it a watch.”
She nods and points to the screen. “So you know this?”
I look at the song she’s selected—Rewrite The Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya. Not my first choice of song I wanted to sing with her, but I do know it.
“That I do.”
“And you didn’t want me to choose the song.”
I roll my eyes, making her smile.
Val turns her head and glances around the room. “There’s only one microphone,” she says as she looks back up at me.
“I guess we’ll share.” I hold the mic up between us, and she stares at it for a minute.
“But they sing at the same time during parts. What will we do for that?”
I wrap my arm around her waist and tug her body up to mine. She gasps and grips my arms, staring up at me in shock. “I guess we’ll just have to stand closer to each other.”
I let her back a step so I can turn on the song, but she doesn’t look away from me. Excitement is slowly building in her eyes again, and this time, I’ll be able to live in the moment with her.
Now, I have to admit something. When I first heard this song, I didn’t feel anything special from it. Sure, the moment was beautiful and heartbreaking, but I didn’t feel the lyrics.
Until now.
Looking down at Valentina and singing these words gives them a different meaning. It feels like I’m baring my soul to this girl and telling her just how much I truly want her. But in the end, we both know it can’t be true. Because she won’t want me the way I want her.
When her part comes on, she takes the mic from me and immediately falls into the song. Her voice sounds a little different from before. Slightly altered to fit this song better. That only makes me fall for her more. The talent she holds is something I’ll never get used to, and thank god for that.
Her hand lands on my chest, slowly moving higher.
I pull in a deep breath as she moves up to my face.
Her fingers gently trace along my jaw and up into my hair, all while singing.
This is how I know she gets more confident when she sings, because she would be too nervous otherwise to touch me like this.
Her hand slides back to my chest, dragging carelessly as she starts to circle me. I watch her slowly move around me until I can’t anymore. I turn my head the other direction, nearly breaking my neck to wait for her to come around the other side of me.
Her touch is teasing. So much that I can’t take it. As soon as she’s back in my line of sight, I grab her arm and pull her in front of me, just in time for us to sing our part together.
Singing with someone has never felt this good before. It’s never sounded this good either. I honestly didn’t think it was possible for two people who have never done this before to sound so perfect on the first try. It’s all because of her, though. I know that for a fact.
When the song ends, the reality of the situation kicks in. That reality being that I only ever want to sing with Valentina Demarco. Singing alone sounds like hell now. I wonder if I’ll ever get her to that place.
“God, you’re amazing,” I breathe out. She smiles nervously, the confidence from the performance already fading. “I’m serious, Valentina. You’re incredible.”
“Thank you.”
“And to think, you wanted to hide all this from me.”
She looks up at the screen, still gripping the mic. The moment flows through her as she shakes her head. “I didn’t know I could do that,” she admits.
“You’ve never sang in your shower? In the car?” I mean, doesn’t everyone?
She shakes her head. “I just take a shower. And I don’t drive so.”
I step closer to her. “Promise me you’ll sing more.”
“Huxley.”
“More people should hear your voice.”
“You should be glad I actually sang in front of you,” she says sharply, her nerves back on full display. Then she sighs. “I think you might be my audience of one.”
As much as I love that, it breaks my heart. Talent like hers should be shared. Me being the only person who gets to experience her like this seems like a crime. “That’s a real shame.”
She softly smiles. “I’m sure people are crying.”
“Hearts are breaking,” I say more dramatically, and she laughs.
I reach up and tuck some of her hair behind her ear, holding on to this feeling for a few seconds more before we have to go back out to the real world. “Come on, Love.”
She puts the mic away while I turn off the main screen. “You can’t tell me you didn’t have fun,” I say, taking her hand and leading her back out to the main room.
She glances back at our karaoke room like she wants to go back. I feel the same.
“I did.” She pulls my arm around her shoulders. “I really did.”
Maybe getting her to sing again won’t be as hard as I thought.