42
Huxley
Get her out of here. Just get her the fuck out of here.
That plays over and over in my head until I finally get her to my truck.
I never should have left her alone. Not when I knew there was a guy who wanted her to sit on his lap, and I knew she was worried about all the other girls staring at her. I just never should have left her alone.
Now, my girl has alcohol dripping down her face, and my hands ache from the feel of it on my skin. But I can’t react to that right now. She’s all that matters. Getting her home is all that matters.
I turn to her, but she’s staring straight forward, the moment still sitting in her head.
“Val.”
She doesn’t move. I reach over and pull her chin in my direction. She finally blinks, coming back to me. “Seat belt, Love.”
She barely nods and reaches back to pull the seat belt around her, still in a daze. Jesus. I can’t even imagine how she's going to react when she comes out of this. But I’d rather that happen at home than here, so I start up my truck and get us the fuck away from this house.
I place my hand on her knee, trying to give her some comfort and, hopefully, not lose her in her mind.
But she hasn’t moved since she put on her seat belt.
I don’t know if this is how she deals with something like this or if she’s blacking out.
I grip her knee tighter, because whatever it is, she’s not alone.
We get to the apartment, and she mechanically takes off her seat belt and gets out of the truck. I hurry behind her, guiding her, but trying not to get any more alcohol on my skin. Inside, I pull her to my room.
“There’s the bathroom.” I point vaguely in the right direction while my eyes scan for something she can wear. “You can take a shower, and I’ll get you some clothes to change into.”
She nods but doesn’t move from where she’s standing.
“Baby, look at me.” She finally lifts her head, showing tears rolling down her cheeks that I don’t know if she even realizes she’s crying. I can’t stop myself as I reach for her face, wiping them away. “I’m so sorry.”
She still doesn’t move, so I gently turn her in the right direction.
Once the door is shut behind her, I wait for the water to start running.
It takes a minute, but finally, the shower turns on, so I hurry to grab some clothes for her.
I leave them by the door, and the smell of alcohol finally hits me.
I rip my shirt off and run to the kitchen, throwing the faucet on to scrub my hands. It shouldn’t be anywhere else. I didn’t let myself touch her anywhere else, so I wouldn’t risk getting it everywhere. I would have kissed her otherwise. I would have held her after what happened.
My hands press into the sides of the sink while I try to center my breathing.
I can’t believe some girl dumped alcohol on her head.
It had to be because of me. All the bad shit that’s happened to her these past few months has been because of me—because of the choices I’ve made. And now she’s paying for them.
I dry off my hands and grab a shirt from my room before heading to the living room, where my mind continues to spin out of control. Even though I’m not the one actually hurting Valentina, she’s still getting hurt. People think they can do whatever they want to her because she’s with me.
I hate this. I hate all of it. Maybe I can just wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her in my room until graduation. I doubt she’d like that, though.
“Huxley?”
My head snaps to the side where Valentina watches me. I hurry over to her, finally taking her face in my hands without fear. “Are you all right?”
She nods. “I’m fine.”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
And then it happens. My girl breaks in front of me.
Tears stream down her face that she quickly covers, but she can’t hide the sound of her crying. I pull her to my chest, and she immediately grabs my shirt to pull me closer.
“I’m sorry, Valentina,” I whisper.
Somehow, that wasn’t the right thing to say because she pushes me away from her.
“Stop apologizing for other people’s shit.” Her calm exterior lasts for a second, allowing her to raise her voice at me. “You didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt me. It’s everyone else that’s making me go insane.”
Another wave of tears takes over her, so I pull her back to me and guide us over to the couch. I sit down, pulling her onto my lap. She instantly curls her body up against mine, hiding her face in my chest. And I let her cry.
I let her get out all the pain she’s feeling from tonight. Even though it kills me to hear her like this, I let her feel what she needs to feel. The last thing I want is her bottling all this inside and falling apart later on.
I don’t know how long we sit here, her in my arms, and the most heartbreaking sound coming from her. But the longer we do, the more her body relaxes into mine.
Finally, her tears start to slow. I brush her wet hair back, and she follows the movement, showing me her tear-stained face.
I don’t say anything yet, though it’s killing me not to. Slowly, she reaches forward, tracing my shirt sleeve.
God. Tonight was supposed to be a fun night for her. Now getting alcohol dumped on her is probably all she’ll remember instead of dressing up like her favorite character.
Her fingers trace the lines of my tattoos before slipping under the trim of my shirt.
“What can I do to make you feel better?” I ask softly.
She shakes her head as she continues her light touch. “This is enough.”
Even though it feels amazing knowing that just being here with me is enough, I’m still reeling. “Fine, what can I do that will make me feel better?”
She tips her head back, allowing me to see her red, swollen eyes. She smiles softly at me. It’s not her brightest, but it’s enough. “Kiss me?”
Damn. She knows me so well.
I cup her cheek, my thumb just under her chin, to lift her face a little more to me. My lips press against hers, and her body relaxes into me more. She doesn’t even have to say it. I know that she feels better now, just as much as I do.
I pull back enough to look into her eyes. Her tears are finally gone, but the light that brightens the dark color isn’t shining through as much as I want it to. I know it will come back. I just hate that it left in the first place.
“It’s pretty late,” she says softly.
I stare at her a bit more, wondering if she means what I think she means.
“Do you want to stay?”
She just stares at me, her eyes searching mine. If she can really see inside my head like she’s done before, she’ll know there’s nothing behind this. I just want her near me tonight. I want her near me forever.
She barely nods. “Sure.”
And now I’m fucking nervous.
I leave her in my room and change in the bathroom. I definitely could have changed in the same room as her, but I didn’t want to scare her by going too fast. Besides, I need a moment to calm myself down.
I’ve never just slept with a girl before. I don’t even know if I’ve slept next to a girl after sex. Usually, I just leave—either from her bed or the bed of the place we found. So right now is a first for me as much as it probably is for her.
I open the door as Val curls up in bed. And fuck me if she isn’t the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I never want her to leave my bed. I never want her to leave my side. I never want her to leave my life.
I slip into bed next to her, and as much as I want to pull her up next to me, I leave a good amount of space between us.
“Is this good for you?”
She nods. “I think so.”
She glances at the empty space between us, and my body moves on its own, closer to her. “You’re comfortable?”
She shifts her body like she’s trying to find a better position, but it brings her another inch towards me.“Yes.”
I keep my eyes on her as I slide my hand onto her waist, pulling her even. closer. “Still good?” I whisper.
She closes the space between us, pressing her chest into mine. “Still good.”
She’s pressed against me, but it somehow isn’t enough. I slip my arm under her and pull her so she’s lying on my chest. “And now?”
She grips my shirt and relaxes into me. “Better.”
My lips brush her forehead, and she somehow manages to pull herself closer.
I’m realizing I’ve never known what intimacy felt like. Whenever I heard the word, my mind went to sex. But this feeling, this connection, brings the word to life. And it’s all I want. I want this every night. Valentina Demarco wrapped in my arms and holding onto me because it makes her feel safe.
Despite what happened tonight that brought us here, I’ve never been happier.
“Goodnight, Love,” I whisper into the dark.
She intertwines her leg with mine and kisses my chest. “Goodnight,” she whispers back.
And I know everything will be okay.