Valentina #2
“Okay. Take the phone back.” Will pushes my phone across the coffee table, then turns completely to JJ. “Husband right here.”
I roll my eyes, but as they settle again, I catch Will and JJ assuring each other of their love. Soft eyes and even softer smiles stare at each other.
I have to look away.
My eyes land on the picture of Huxley they just looked at. His long hair is brushed back as he leans his head on the back of the couch with his eyes closed in concentration. His ringed fingers are on full display, and I feel sick—images of this morning playing through my head.
I lock my phone and set it aside.
“Seriously, though, Tina.” Will curls into JJ even more than before, and I swallow back the lump in my throat.
Maybe when you love someone, you have the ability to combine with them and become one. It seems beautiful, but also suffocating. Maybe that’s because I don’t know what it feels like. Or maybe I just shouldn’t get that close with someone.
“Have sex with the man,” Will continues. “I mean, imagine those rings on your skin.”
“Okay, yeah, maybe, I don’t know. Can we just change the subject?”
Will and JJ stare at me in confusion.
“Don’t be nervous, Val,” JJ assures me. “Casual sex is actually very popular these days. You shouldn’t be worried about it ruining your friendship with him.”
“Maybe it will turn you two into something more,” Will adds with a less-than-helpful wink.
It won’t. If anything, it will push him away faster. Even if I was willing to stick with this till the end, I have a very strong feeling that if we have sex soon, Huxley will find a way to avoid me until I give up.
I glance at my phone and sigh. “Can one of you just take my picture for me?”
Will raises an eyebrow. “So these are for him?”
“They’re for me,” I say a bit too defensively. Will’s other eyebrow matches his first one. “Alright, fine,” I admit. “He may have asked me to send him photos every day.”
“Fuck yeah. Let’s do this shit.” Will jumps up from the couch and rounds the coffee table. He looks me over as he pulls my phone from my hand. “Is that what you were planning on wearing today?”
“Not completely.”
“Well, go put that on, and we’ll take some good photos in front of the snowy backdrop. Maybe even go outside for a second or two.”
“Fine.” I push myself from the floor and head to my room. Will’s sweater gets thrown on the bed, and I trade it for my leather jacket. I grab my shoes from the floor and head back out to the living room.
“I’m missing my picture of you today, Love?”
I freeze, my eyes widening. “How did you see that?”
“It’s still in your notifications.” Fuck. “He calls you Love?”
I nod stiffly. “Maybe.”
“God. You are in trouble with this man.” More than you know. “Get your shoes on so we can take these.”
I hate that Will is getting excited about my relationship with Huxley. My relationship that hardly exists, and that I’ll have to end soon. Especially since I know that he’s going to hate the truth when I tell him.
Will takes a few pictures of me inside before he firmly insists that we take some on the balcony. The snow is still falling, but not as hard as it was before. The sky also isn’t as dark, which is helping us out.
“Could you take some kind of video?” I ask while my teeth chatter from the cold.
A smile creeps over his face. “He wants a video from you?”
I glare at him. “Shut up.”
Will raises his hands in defense. “All right. Just keep playing with the snow and see what happens.”
I bend down and scoop some snow into my hands to throw into the air. Maybe get some kind of cute video of it fluttering around me. Will points at me as he starts the video. I throw the snow up and immediately notice it’s sticking together about a second before it lands on my head in one big clump.
I start laughing. Full out, all of my chest, laughing. I don’t remember the last time I laughed like this. I don’t know if I ever have. Honestly, this moment isn’t even that funny. I think everything hurts so much that this little moment feels monumental.
I finally catch my breath and look up at Will, who is smiling at me like a proud sibling. I haven’t seen that in a while either.
“God, if that man doesn’t fall in love with you after that video, then he’s a stupid man.”
My smile falters a little, but Will doesn’t notice.
He gives me back my phone before running inside.
I move at a much slower pace behind him, shutting the balcony door as JJ comes up to me with a blanket.
I accept it with a weak smile, kicking my shoes off by the door, and moving to the couch to curl up near Will.
I pull my phone out and start sifting through the photos to send to Huxley. Some of them turned out really cute, so I select those first and send them off without a second thought.
Then I get to the video. My chest hurts a bit watching that event play out in front of me.
I can see the pain in my eyes, the weakness in my smile, but Will didn’t notice.
And if he didn’t notice, my little brother, who loves me, then my fake boyfriend, who just wants me for sex, isn’t going to notice either.
“Seriously, Tina.” Will stares at my phone as the video continues to play out. “This boy is doing something great to you.” His eyes move up to mine. “And I think you should grab on before it’s too late.”
But it already is too late. Even though Huxley has brought out this side of me that I never knew was possible, he’s still breaking me. I can grab all I want, but he’ll always slip through.
JJ comes back over to the couch and hands me and Will a cup of hot chocolate before settling in behind Will. Will cuddles up to him, and JJ quickly kisses his cheek. And for the first time, I’m jealous of their relationship.
They love each other. There is no denying that the feelings they have for each other are real. And I’ve never had that. I don’t think I ever will.
Before our deal, I never imagined actually being with Huxley, but now that I’ve had a piece of him, I can’t imagine anyone else meeting what he’s given me. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. He just doesn’t feel the same.
I add the video to my message and send it to Huxley. Sipping my hot chocolate, I wait for a response, but nothing comes through.
He did say he went home, so it makes sense that texting me back isn’t a priority to him right now. I wonder if I ever was one to begin with, or if he put in more effort before to make me think I was one.
And if that’s the case, maybe I’m not the only one who wants to end this.