Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
David
I enter a bar in Chelsea, where I’m meeting my college roommate and some buddies of his to celebrate the launch of their new dating app called Mystery Match.
Since they have zero budget, I’ve helped with the layout and aesthetics of it at no charge while they did all the background coding to make it actually work.
My job was easy with just giving suggestions while they were the ones doing all the labor, so I told them I was happy to help, and if it ever blows up, they can throw me down some cash as their thank-you then.
“What’s up, brother?” Donny stands to clap my hand and give me a bro hug. “This is Chad and Matthew.”
I wave hello to the other guys at the table, then sit and nod my head to the waitress, letting her know I’d like the same beer they’re drinking.
“How was work?” Donny asks.
“Just another day,” I respond with a sigh.
“No Zoe drama today?” he’s quick to ask, knowing she’s always part of my drama for the day.
“There’s always Zoe drama, and now we have to work on a big project together. Yay for us,” I respond sarcastically as the waitress hands me my beer. “Thank you.” I smile at her, then turn my attention back to the table.
“Will you just fuck her already and get it over with?” Donny states definitively.
I almost spit out my beer. “The waitress? I just saw her for the first time.”
“No, this Zoe chick. You guys need a good hateful bang to get it out of your systems.”
I hold up my hand. “There will be no hateful banging going on here.”
“Who needs to get an angry fuck in?” a guy I haven’t met asks as he lays his hand on Donny’s shoulder.
“You made it!” Donny stands to greet the guy.
“David, this is Joey, who I told you about. He’s worked a lot on the project. He’s also a bartender at a place in SoHo, so he’s never able to join us like this,” Donny explains to me.
Joey shrugs. “Still got to pay the bills until we make some actual money on this. Nice to meet you.” He sits down, then looks at me. “So, who are we talking about needing to angry fuck?”
“No one. Subject change. How did the launch go today?” I ask.
“Great, thanks to my boy Joey here.” Donny claps his hand on Joey’s back. “Him being a bartender has helped tremendously with him spreading the word and getting single people to sign up.”
“Smart of you to team up with someone right in the thick of things when it comes to the single life.” I nod my approval.
“The things I’ve seen would blow your mind.” Joey shakes his head slowly with his eyebrows up as he lets out a breath.
“I’m sure there are things I’d rather not know about when it comes to what happens at bars in New York City.” I cringe at the thought.
“Believe me, you don’t. That’s why I’m hoping this app helps people. Seeing desperate single people try to find someone day in and day out is not fun.”
“You’re single, right?” Matthew asks me. “Did you sign up?”
I nod and take out my phone, opening up the app. “I did, but I need to add friends on here. I didn’t have time to look at it much after the initial setup.”
“Add all of us,” he responds, looking around the group to signify everyone here.
I agree by just handing my phone over to him. “Here, you know how to do this better than I do.”
He requests the other guys at the table, then watches as their individual phones ding with a request and hands the phone back to me. “You’re all set. You’ll need to add some of your closer friends though since they know more about you.”
“I don’t know. This could be fun, guessing what his type is like.
” Chad brings the phone closer to his face so I can’t see what he’s doing as he swipes through pictures.
“No. No. Huh.” He pauses for a second, glances up at me, then nods with a smirk on his face.
“That would be a yes.” He moves the picture he’s staring at up to my name on the app, then puts the phone face down.
I reach for it to see what she looks like, but he’s quick to swat me away.
“The point is, you don’t get to see who I chose for you.”
“I just met you. I hardly think you know my type.”
He shrugs. “She seemed as businesslike as you are, so I figured you’d be a match.”
I shake my head and bring the bottle up to my mouth to take a drink. If only finding a girl was that easy.
A few minutes later, my phone dings with an alert, so I pick it up and laugh instantly when I see I’ve been matched with whoever Chad just swiped to my name.
I turn the phone to show the guys. “We have a match!” I announce with excitement for them that their app seems to be working.
They all celebrate their success like it’s their first confirmed match with cheers and high fives.
I bring the phone back to me and click Accept. “What do I do now?”
“You message her,” Donny replies. “Get to talking. Once you’ve gone back and forth for seven days, the app will ask her if she wants to take this conversation off the app, and if she agrees, then it will give you her real number.”
“Is there an amount of time we have to spend each day for it to qualify?”
Donny shrugs. “Yes, and no. I think we set it up that you have to be engaged with the conversation for two to three replies after the first connection for it to count. We figured if you make it past the first day of conversation and the person wants to talk to you again, then time spent doesn’t matter as much.
Seven days is a decent amount of time to wait if you’re just looking for a hookup. ”
A sarcastic laugh escapes my lips. “Desperate times call for desperate measures for some people.”
He blows me off with a chuckle.
“But what if I don’t want to give her my real number? Why is it up to her?” I ask.
“Life in general is up to the women, so why should this be any different?” Chad asks with a sarcastic laugh that I join in on.
I pick up my beer and point it in his direction. “Facts.” I take a sip like we just clinked drinks in a cheers fashion.
“If you’re not feeling it, just don’t talk to her on the sixth day, then you won’t have to worry about it,” Donny clarifies.
“So, ghost her. Got it.” I give a sharp nod, showing the assignment is understood.
“Text her back. I promise, she’s a hottie. I wouldn’t do you wrong. We want this app to really work, remember?” Chad tries to encourage me.
I tuck my phone in my back pocket, where it’s safe from any of the guys trying to respond for me. “I will later on. I’m not going to start a conversation, then leave her hanging while I’m here.” I turn to Donny. “So, how many sign-ups did you get today?”
He swipes on his phone to pull up the data. “Almost five hundred.”
“No shit? That seems like a good number.” I turn my bottle toward his to clink them together.
“Yeah, for the first day it is. We need to get to five hundred thousand or even five million though to make some real money on it.”
“It will happen. Just takes time, is all,” I try to reassure him. “Be proud of five hundred on the first day. Word will spread.”
Once I’m home and changed out of my business suit, I plop on the couch and check out the match I got.
The app states general information about her so I know the kind of person I’m talking to, but doesn’t give away too much.
Besides her first name, I learn that she is twenty-six, grew up in the city and now lives in SoHo, has a bachelor’s degree, and works in the downtown area at a job where she has to wear business attire.
She has no kids, but wants some one day.
The information seems very random, but then maybe not.
If she works downtown and wears business attire, I can only assume she has a decent career.
No kids now is a plus, but I do think it’s cool that they put it out there right away that she does want kids someday.
I live in Greenwich Village, which is pretty close to SoHo, so that’s good to know too.
I wouldn’t want to start a relationship with someone in the Bronx or Jersey, just because, logistically, it would take too long to get there, and my time outside of work is already limited.
For the sake of helping my friend to see how well this app works, I bite the bullet and send her a text.
Zoe
I’m sitting on my bed, going over the drawings from today, when I hear an alert on my phone that I’m not used to. When I pick it up, I see it’s from Mystery Match. Not sure if I’m scared or excited, I swipe it on to see I have a direct message from a guy named David.
A sharp laugh escapes my mouth before I hit Accept. Of course, it’s my luck that I’d match with someone named David. Why can’t the asshat at work have an obscure name, like Cosmo or Artimus, so I never have to associate him with anyone else, especially a potential dating match?
I open the message to see a simple text.
Hi, Jenelle. It looks like you’re my first match. How are you?
I forget for a split second that I used my middle name for my profile, so it takes me a moment to realize that, yes, this message is indeed for me.
Figuring what’s the worst that could happen? I lean back in my bed and respond to the guy.
Hello! I’m good. I didn’t think I’d have a match on this so fast.
Me neither. I didn’t have any friends added until an hour ago. I think you were the only person he swiped to me as we sat at the bar.
Then, obviously, our friends thought we were a match. Have you ever done a dating app?
Ha! No!
Oh, sorry. That might have come off wrong. I don’t look down on people who do, but, no, I’ve never tried to hook up with someone through Tinder, if that’s what you’re asking.
I chuckle at his text, knowing what he means. But I like that he tried to correct himself for my sake.
No worries. I feel the same way. A friend of mine asked me to sign up, so here I am.
Sounds like we’re in the same boat. Tell me about yourself.
I type, delete, type some more, then delete it all. How do you explain yourself to someone you just met? I’m taking too long, so I just type what I’m thinking instead.