Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Zoe
Monday morning comes around, and I’m an absolute mess. I wanted to contact David all Sunday but decided against it. I knew he needed space, and I needed to figure out what to do next.
Now I understand why most jobs don’t allow dating within the workforce. Knowing he’s going to be at work does not help my anxiety or emotional state one bit. I just pray I can make it through the day without losing it right in front of him.
I walk into work, having no clue how the day will go, but what I wasn’t expecting was to not see him sitting at his desk. He’s always here on time, and when I glance down at my phone, I notice I’m actually fifteen minutes late, making me even more confused.
“You okay?” Jana asks, looking up at me from her laptop.
I search around our office, hoping to find David.
“If you’re wondering where David is, he came and left,” she answers without me having to ask.
I turn to face her so fast that I knock over my coffee cup. I pick it up quickly—thank goodness for the lid. “He left?”
She nods. “He was walking out the door when I came in about a half hour ago. Didn’t say a word as he walked past me. What happened?”
I plop down in my chair like a big blob of nothing, exhausted from this weekend and not sure what to do now. “Let’s just say, he found out who I was and that I had known, but not told him.”
She closes her laptop, knowing I need her full attention. “Ouch … I take it he didn’t take that well?”
I shake my head. “Nope.” I pop the P to clarify just how bad he took it.
“Have you talked to him since then?”
“Sure haven’t. He walked out from the bar Saturday night when he found out, saying, ‘I just can’t.’”
I close my eyes, willing the tears to not fall again when I hear Christina say, “Zoe, do you have a minute?”
I open my eyes to see Jana staring at me with her eyebrows raised. My heart explodes in my chest, and I have to sit here for a few breaths to figure out if my body can even manage to exist right now.
“Go,” she whispers, and I jump up, realizing I can indeed still move, no matter how much it hurts to do so.
I look up to the ceiling, praying my eyes aren’t red from all the crying this weekend or from the tears that were just threatening to fall now.
“Yes, Christina?” I ask, keeping my distance as I stand in her doorway, hoping this is a quick conversation.
She’s sitting at her desk without her laptop open, just waiting for me to enter. “Please, come in and have a seat.”
My heart pounds so hard that I can hardly breathe. I take a seat and force my eyes to meet hers, but don’t say anything.
“David just took himself off the project. He said all of his data work is complete and that you can handle everything else. He says he wants to take the next two weeks off for his sister’s wedding.
Want to tell me why he really just took an unexpected two-week vacation when his original plan was to only take two days off for the wedding? ”
I close my eyes because I can no longer keep the tears from falling down my face.
“I’m sorry that what happened came between him and his work and that it’s affecting your business. I promise I didn’t mean for any of this.” I drop my chin to my chest and cry uncontrollably.
She walks around her desk, handing me a tissue and surprising the hell out of me by sitting next to me in the other available chair. “No. I’m sorry. I have an admission I need to make.”
I look at her, not sure if what I just heard is correct or if my mind is playing tricks on me. “I’m sorry, but what?” I try to keep this professional, but I guess crying at my boss’s desk threw that all out the window.
“I know you think I’m this harsh businesswoman who, I’ll admit, can be a little scary at times,” she starts, and I let out a laugh since that is the understatement of the year, then instantly regret when I see the expression she flashes me.
I wipe my eyes just so I don’t have to look at her.
“I’m going to tell you a personal story. Are you okay with that?”
I nod because what else am I supposed to do? I’ve both admired and feared this woman since the day I started here, and seeing this side of her is nothing I ever expected.
“You remind me a lot of myself when I was your age,” she begins.
“I do?”
She gives me a soft grin, not something she does often. “Yeah. Your determination, your creativity.” She levels her eyes with mine. “And your stubbornness.”
I chuckle under my breath, knowing she’s right.
“I saw what was going on between you and David, and I wanted to do something about it.”
“What do you mean—between me and David? We fought all the time.”
“Yep. The same way my husband and I did when we worked together.”
“What?” If I thought I was confused when I first walked in here, I now feel like my thoughts are on a roller coaster and we just took a nosedive.
“Yep. I worked with my husband at our first job. That’s actually how we met. That man drove me up the wall daily.”
“Seriously?” I ask with a laugh.
She nods her head, giving me a knowing look. “Just like you and David.” She sighs. “Samantha and I were having drinks one night, talking about her new project, and we concocted this plan for you guys to work together so you two could finally figure out how you really felt about each other.”
Forget the roller coaster. My brain, body, and soul just launched into Mars with that admission. I’m speechless. I open my mouth, but words don’t come out.
She places her hand on my knee, trying to bring me back to reality. “That whole trip you went on really wasn’t necessary. I just thought you two needed that little push. Now I feel responsible for this mess.”
I wondered why we were there. I mean, it was cool, but we’d never done anything like that with our other clients. Now it’s all starting to make sense.
When I finally see Christina and the regret written all over her face, I know I have to put her out of her misery.
I shake my head, letting out a breath. “This wasn’t your fault. Actually, you were right. We did need that push to get past how we acted in person with each other. The feelings were definitely there. We just didn’t know it.”
Her shoulders sag, giving me a side of her I thought I’d never see. “Can I ask what happened then?”
I tell her all about the app, how we were blindly matched and spoke for hours until the day we met with Samantha.
I explain how I figured out who he was, but didn’t know how he’d react if he found out it was me.
I was already in too deep with my feelings for him online, but at a complete loss when it came to us in real life.
I press my lips together and admit to her, “We had an amazing time together in Montana.” Tears fall down my face, and she’s quick to get me another tissue.
“I even spent Saturday with his family, picking up his sister’s wedding dress.
” My voice cracks as I relive the pain of this weekend.
“Stupid me kept slipping up about things he’d told me on the phone versus what he’d told me in person.
He was able to put it together, and when he called me out on it, he walked away. We haven’t spoken since.”
I bury my face in my hands, not ashamed of the tears that are falling as I sit at my boss’s side.
She places her hand on my back. “Don’t cry. So, you didn’t tell him it was you. I’m sure you would have eventually.”
I lean back, making sure she knows I mean what I say. “I would have. I promise. I was trying to figure out how.”
She gives me a soft grin. “You just need to give it time. Can I give you some advice?”
I wipe my eyes again and nod my reply.
“Love is exciting. It’s new and all things glorious, but with how fast it climbs, it can fall just as quickly.
Love is only ten percent of the equation, though.
Commitment is the other ninety percent. All kinds of people can manage the ten percent, but not many people can commit for the other ninety. Do you get what I’m saying?”
I squint my eyes. “Kind of …”
“True love is not buying flowers, or your heart skipping a beat, or even how good you are together in bed.” She winks, making me laugh, knowing we had that in spades.
“True love is opening a bowl of pistachios by hand because your partner is very ill and it’s the only thing she can get down that has any kind of substance. ”
I try to figure out what she just said, but it only brings me more uncertainty.
It must be written all over my face because she laughs as she clarifies, “That’s what my Wayne did for me when I was too weak to move.
It had been over a week of the worst flu I’d ever experienced.
The only thing I could eat was pistachios.
So, he sat next to me and opened up every single one so I could eat them and get some kind of strength back into my system.
His fingers were raw from doing so, but he didn’t care; as long as it was helping me, he continued.
That’s what love is. That’s what commitment is.
It’s the small things that you think don’t mean much, but when you look back, they are the moments that mean everything.
He did the absolute best he could when I couldn’t care for myself.
Not many men are capable of that. I can tell David is.
Don’t let this silly app ruin that for you. ”
I bite the inside of my lip, praying more tears don’t fall, but it’s useless. She reaches up and wipes one with her thumb.
“I saw you two from the outside, looking in. Not only did you remind me of myself, but you two reminded me of Wayne and me together. Just give him time.”
“Thank you,” I whisper because it’s all I can muster.
She wraps me in a hug. “Why don’t you and Jana go get some coffee and come back in an hour? Hopefully, that will get your mind right.” She pushes me away from her but holds my shoulders, making sure I understand. “Because I am still paying you to do your job, get to work when you come back.”
I laugh out loud, reveling in the stress relief it offers. She gives me the best smile.
“Thanks, Christina.”
“Anytime. And keep me posted, okay?”
I stand, feeling slightly better about the situation. “Okay.”