Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
David
It’s been two days since I got back home, and if I thought it would make me feel better, I was wrong. Being back home and in my room again has brought so many emotions back to life.
JJ and I still share a room, even though my bed is completely covered with his crap while I’m gone. Thankfully, he hasn’t complained much since I showed up, and he’s even kept to his side of the room like he did when I still lived here.
Ever since Nicole and I broke up, I haven’t thought much about my future when it comes to relationships.
I threw myself into my work and made it my only focus.
This past week of talking to Jenelle—or rather, Zoe—online and then spending the weekend together made me realize just how much I’d missed having someone there.
I’d thought I’d be fine, being alone, since I was in New York City, but now I see just how much I was fooling myself and, honestly, starting to work myself to death. My run with Donny on Saturday mornings was the only social thing I did.
My life was sad, but I was too messed up in the head to even notice. It was easier to do that than try to wrap my head around how I could be engaged to a person who was keeping something that big from me.
All of my friends decided to throw me a bonfire tonight to welcome me back home, so I’m hoping it will help get my mind right, or at least let me forget about my problems for a few hours.
I walk downstairs in my Ariat jeans and boots with my cowboy hat, which was still sitting in the closet, knowing I’d never wear it in New York.
“There’s my baby boy,” my mom says, opening her arms wide to give me a hug. “I’ve missed you looking so handsome like this.”
“What? You don’t like me in suits?”
“Of course I do. This just fits you better, is all.” She gives me one more hug, then goes back to what she was doing in the kitchen.
I convinced JJ to let me take my old truck tonight, and when I climb in, it’s like no time has gone by. The truck roars to life, filling me with a sensation I haven’t experienced in a long time.
When I was sixteen, this truck brought me my first taste of freedom, my first love, and my first heartache. The memories overwhelm me in a way I wasn’t expecting, so I blast the stereo and put the truck in reverse to see what other things I can dig up for old times’ sake.
I pull up to Aiden’s country property and park in the same place I have so many times before. Nothing has changed, and yet, to me, everything has changed.
“Look who decided to come home.” Aiden throws another log on the fire, then walks toward me.
“What’s up, brother?”
We slap hands and bring each other in for a hug.
“Ha! Did you ever think I’d actually be your brother?”
I hold my hands up in surrender. “Don’t remind me. She’s your problem now.” I level my eyes with his. “You do realize what you’re getting into though, right?”
His smile spreads from ear to ear. “I sure do, man. What can I say? I love her crazy ass.”
I smack his stomach. “You’d better.”
“What are you going to do anyway, all the way in New York City?”
“Yeah, I still find it very convenient that you waited until I left to try to get with her.”
“Are you kidding? You know I had to wait for you to leave, or you would have kicked my ass!”
I thrust forward like I’m going after him, making him flinch, and then we both laugh.
I nudge his shoulder. “Get me a beer, and we’ll call it good.”
He motions for me to follow him, and we walk to where the cooler is set up.
A few other guys I haven’t seen in years start to arrive, and before I know it, the place is crowded with people hanging out and having a good country time together. I never thought I’d miss this stuff until now. It’s not just the environment or the location; it’s the people.
New York can be very lonely with everyone living their own life, chasing their own dreams. There’s no place where people can go and just hang out.
Even bars are really made to close business deals or hook up with people.
You never get to know someone well enough to care about them the way people do in a small town.
As the night winds down, there are a few of us kicked back in front of the fire, including my sister and Aiden. Seeing them together like this makes me both happy and jealous at the same time.
My sister chose well with Aiden; he’s the man of her dreams, and I couldn’t have asked for a better brother-in-law. It’s just weird that she’s growing up, getting married before me. I’m the oldest, and I guess I just assumed I would get married first.
I was on that path with a soon-to-be wife and the dream career, and the only thing left would have been kids, but life kicked me in the ass, setting me back to only having the career. I thought I was good with that, but I’m quickly realizing I’m not.
I’m lost in my thoughts, staring into the fire, when Katie breaks into my pity train.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” she asks while sitting on Aiden’s lap with her arm wrapped around his neck.
I shrug, then take a sip of my beer that I’ve been nursing for way too long.
“Have you heard from her?” Aiden asks.
I glare at Katie. “You told him?”
“Of course I told him! I tell him everything, but it’s not like he’s not your best friend.”
I shake my head. “No. She made it pretty clear she didn’t want me.”
She sits up straight. “No, she actually didn’t say that. She thought you both hated each other. Now, she’s a mess, and I’m pretty sure she was bawling her eyes out that night, trying to ask you to forgive her.”
“How would you even know that? You weren’t there.” I roll my eyes at her, taking another sip.
“No, I wasn’t. But I spoke to her yesterday, and she told me everything.”
Seething, I slowly sit up to face her. “You what?”
“I called her. I wanted to hear her side of the story, and I think you’re being an idiot.”
I stand up and throw my beer bottle in the fire, watching the glass break everywhere. “Yeah, well, I think you should mind your own fucking business and stay out of mine.”
I march to my truck, stomping my way through the sticks and gravel, only to be stopped by Aiden.
“Hey, man, take a deep breath.”
I open my door but then turn to say exactly what’s on my mind. I point to where my sister stayed back. “You know I don’t want her in my shit. She’s always meddling, and I—”
He holds up his hands to me. “I know; I know. She can’t help herself, but I want you to really think about all of this.”
“There’s nothing to think about. Zoe despised me.” I overreact to the term, flailing my arms out to the sides. “Then she spent the most incredible night with me, all while she was hiding shit she should have told me before any of that happened.”
“So, it was that fucking good, huh?” he asks with a smirk, making me even more frustrated.
“Yes!” I scream, releasing all the emotions I’ve held in since that day. “Yes! Okay? I admit it. We had the most amazing sex ever, and now I’m here, fucking miserable because I love her, but I don’t know what to do about it. There.” I smack his chest—hard. “Are you happy now?”
He rubs where I just hit him. “Well, you could have said it without hitting me, but, yeah, I’m glad to hear you admit it to yourself at least.”
I sit down on the running board of my truck, dropping my head to my hands. “I thought being here would help get my mind off of things, but it’s just making things worse.”
“Well, are you going to be a man about it, or are you going to sit here and cry like a little bitch?”
I chuckle under my breath at his words, loving that he hasn’t changed a bit. “Right now, I want to cry like a little bitch.”
“Pussy,” he states so matter-of-factly, and I laugh even more.
I stare up at him, not quite sure what to say, but realizing just how perfect he and my sister are for each other.
“Don’t tell me New York has made you soft. The man I knew would chase after what he wanted, not sit here and cry about it. What the fuck happened to you?”
I stand and face him. “Love happened to me, which, yeah, I guess has made me a pussy bitch. I bet if my sister messes with you one day, you’re going to come to me, crying in the same way.”
“Nah.” He motions his hands in front of me like he’s blowing me off. “I won’t be dumb enough to let her get to that point. You know her; she can be scary as shit.”
This makes me laugh out loud because he’s totally right. I wouldn’t want to piss her off either.
He gives me a slight nod. “You good?”
I place my hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m good. I know I haven’t said it before, but thanks for marrying my sister. I like knowing she’s in good hands.”
“I got you. Call me tomorrow if you want to go out shooting or something.” He turns to go back to my sister, who I’m sure will interrogate the hell out of him.
“Thanks. I will.”
I hop in my truck, still having no clue what to really do or how I can get over the way she hid who she was from me, but at least I know now that I want to figure it out so we can move forward and see where this goes.