28. Lottie
twenty-eight
Lottie
Watching reflections ripple across my windshield, I drum my fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music on the radio.
The Stars’ team bus idles near the hotel entrance.
When the doors open, the players spill out with slumped shoulders and crestfallen expressions.
Tyson steps off last. His Stars hoodie rides up in the back, like he forgot to pull it down or he didn’t have the energy to care.
With how serious he takes hockey, I’m guessing it’s the latter.
He texted me after the game to meet him here, to avoid being seen together at the arena.
After all the guys disappear inside, I step out of the car and stay in the shadows.
The sky is dark, and a bellboy paces near the entrance, scrolling on his phone.
As soon as Ty sees me, the invisible knot pulling his face tight unravels.
His lips part slightly as he strides toward me.
“Hey,” I say in a quiet voice, careful not to draw attention.
“Hey.” His voice carries a tone of forlornity I expected.
His eyes drop to my shoes, then lift back to my face.
Since he doesn’t mention the game, neither do I.
We start walking and close the distance between us until our arms brush.
His hands stay shoved in his pockets. Without speaking, we head toward the waterfront park.
Maybe it’s because we spent so much time together on the water that it’s natural for us to gravitate in that direction.
As soon as the Potomac River comes into view, my shoulders release some of the day’s tension.
Tyson must feel the release too, because he finally speaks, “I hate that when we lose, I can’t stop replaying all the ways I failed.” His eyes sweep to mine. They are vulnerable in a way that makes my breath catch.
“I didn’t see you failing at all.” I take a risk by lightly touching his forearm before quickly pulling back. “I saw you playing your best.”
His mouth twitches. I can tell he wants to argue, but instead he says, “I want to be someone you can be proud of.”
“You are.” Without hesitation, I lift my hand toward him again, giving him time to pull away if he wants to, but he doesn’t.
When I take his hand in mine, my heartbeat stumbles at the memory of how perfect this feels.
His eyes drift closed for a second, like he too is savoring the contact and perhaps storing some of the sensation away for when we have to conceal our affections for each other.
“I’ve always been proud of you and how hard you work.
I seriously can’t wait to tell everyone we’re together. ”
Turning toward me, his hand lifts and settles at my waist. A spiral of goosebumps ripples up my spine as his thumb presses lightly into the fabric of my shirt.
I can’t help but smile. Even though the team had a devastating loss tonight, being able to finally come together feels amazing.
“Yeah, the whole Bodan thing is something I never expected. Three is a bit of a crowd, and I’ll be honest, I can’t wait until he’s out of the picture. ”
“Well.” I slide my lips into a teasing slant. “If you remember, he was your idea.”
“No.” He shakes his head playfully as he lowers his face to mine. “He was your mom’s orchestration. I was only helping to make sure you didn’t have to hold hands with Brett.”
The mere mention of Brett sends a cold shiver through me. “Yeah, thank you for that. I can’t imagine how that would have fueled his ego.”
We both chuckle and grow more comfortable until we find ourselves leaning into each other, and his hand tightens at my waist. Without any other cues, we both instinctually sense what’s coming. I press my palm against his solid chest, and the warmth that spirals up my arm draws me even closer.
When his lips brush mine, a soft ache spreads through my gut.
His kiss is unhurried, almost as if his lazy grin has a matching setting.
There’s no hint of the game loss, as that all seems to melt away.
My hand slides up his chest until my fingers find his collar, and I curl them there, enjoying the unexpected awareness that I can feel the rise and fall of his breathing under my palm.
This isn’t our first kiss, but our first one was so unexpected that everything about that moment was fueled by adrenaline.
This kiss gives us the chance to explore a little, and his thumb brushes my waist as I find a rhythm defined by the way his mouth moves against mine.
When we pull back, his eyes stay closed a beat longer, like he’s still not ready to let the moment go, his beautiful dark lashes fanning against his skin.
A burst of laughter spills from somewhere near the water.
Reality slams back into place. I have no idea who is out there.
Even though it’s dark, I slide my foot back one step, almost like we rehearsed it.
Without speaking, we nonchalantly turn to the river, like we’re out for the view.
I watch the faint reflections of the lights in the dark water and pray we aren’t recognized.
The group of laughing people moves the other way, and we stroll quietly in the opposite direction until we find ourselves alone again.
I’ve known Ty most of my life. It’s an odd—but easy—feeling to transition from friends to something more.
We don’t need to have a chatty first date about our likes and dislikes.
We could probably each write a book about the other without even trying.
We know all the details about our families, hometown, and careers.
The one thing we seem to need is more physical touch to soak up what this feels like.
At least for me, nothing has ever felt more right.
We remain quiet, sharing deep eye contact as the kiss still hangs between us.
It’s left a warm stain on my lips I don’t want to let go of, and I’m craving more of it.
So, when we happen to stroll by a large tree and he gets a gleam in his eye, we don’t hesitate to slip into the shadows and immediately pull into an embrace.
“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” he says, his voice low. When our eyes find each other’s, I smile wider, and he tacks on, “Longer than you probably even realize.”
“Oh, yeah,” I say with a teasing breath as it’s hard to believe. I’ve been waiting since I was sixteen and except for that one time he never showed interest in being anything more than friends. “Humor me. How long?”
“I knew since the first day I met you that you were meant to be mine, but I didn’t really know what that meant, but I asked Santa for you every year.”
“You enlisted Santa.” I give him a side-eye as that can’t be right.
“Every year.” He takes a breath before his words rush out like a heavy load he’s carried too long and is finally ready to drop. “Do you remember that summer right after you graduated from high school? You were finally eighteen, and we met for July Fourth at your Mapleton house like always.”
I remember that summer perfectly.
I remember all our summers together.
I’m not sure why, but my cheeks heat at being put on the spot. Even though this is Ty, who I know as well as my own brother, I’m still shy when it comes to talking about this out loud.
“I had told myself that once you were eighteen, everything would magically click into place. Then, out of nowhere, you announced you were moving to DC to help your mom. I was happy for you, but it was miserable not saying anything.”
“I remember that summer, and I also remember waiting for you to say something. Why didn’t you?”
“I wanted to, and I had planned on it, but I was watching you laugh with Ham on the dock about the first time you drove in DC traffic, and you turned toward me. The way the sunset reflected the water in your eyes, it lit up your whole face. You never looked happier, and I just froze. I wanted to tell you how badly I was crushing on you right there, but I was scared it would ruin your excitement for DC. I had these visions of you moving there and becoming important like your mom. I couldn’t fathom you wanting to hold on to anything from your old life.
It was best to accept we’d be friends, and I was glad for that at least. I didn’t say it, but yeah, I wanted to.
” His voice catches a little before he adds, “I sealed everything away, hoping one day I’d get the chance to at least say something.
” His eyes glimmer when he adds, “I need you to know this isn’t casual for me.
Even though it feels fast and maybe like I skipped a step to express my feelings so soon, I can’t risk you not knowing you’re everything I’ve ever waited for. ”
Understanding exactly how he feels, I smile, surprised by how easy it is to get used to being this close to him.
“It’s funny how we were both living that experience.
Like, on some level I knew we’d end up together.
There was never an if for me, but there was a huge when question I could never solve.
Just when I thought, this will be the summer , Murphy’s Law would come into play, and one of us would be pulled in another direction for work. ”
A weight has been lifted off my chest and breathing is suddenly easier.
It’s like all the years I’ve kept this in—every smile I held back and every accidental touch that haunted me—are finally cut loose.
When he dips his head again, I’m relaxed and brush my lips against his.
We’ve certainly gotten used to kissing each other faster than I’d have expected.
There’s nothing awkward, and at the same time, nothing casual about it.
Every tug of my lips sparks something electric under my skin.
When we break the kiss, he tosses a quick look over his shoulder and whispers, “We’re going to get caught out here. ”
I laugh, but it’s strained. “Maybe we need to get caught, so we can move on with our lives.”
“Nah.” He eases back, putting just enough space between us to make it look innocent to anyone passing by. “I don’t want you to have that stress. We can wait so things are easier for you.”
Just then a shadow moves in a way that makes it look like it’s heading straight for us, and my stomach drops.
“Should we hide?” I half joke as I frantically search for somewhere to go.
He’s one step ahead of me and grabs my hand, yanking me behind a cement wall.
We crouch as low as we can without lying down.
Honestly, now that we are here, this is worse than getting caught standing next to each other.
The wall is only a half wall, and our bodies press together in totally incriminating positions.
At this point we’re committed, because if we step out from behind the wall, that’s going to look suspicious.
I crouch lower as the figure passes at the slowest pace known to humankind.
In my painstaking effort to stay perfectly still, I wobble—because, well, I never said I had good balance—and I save myself from toppling over by sliding out my foot to steady myself.
“Ouch!” Ty hisses, grimacing and clutching my ankle.
I look down to find my foot is on his hand, and I mouth, “Sorry,” while trying not to notice how unfairly handsome he is this close.
I mean, he has stupidly long lashes that give him this sensitive vibe that makes my pulse skid.
If we weren’t hiding from imminent exposure, I would not hold back from kissing him again.
Instead, I focus on not breathing too loudly as the person meanders along.
We stay frozen, pressed too close behind the smallest wall ever.
Just when I’m about to peek over the wall to see if the coast is clear, a familiar voice cuts through the tension. “Ah! My eyes!” Ham steps behind the wall while slamming a hand over his eyes. “Lottie, this is what you’re doing!”
One side of my brain dials up into panic mode, while the other side crashes with relief knowing it’s just Ham. If there’s one person who has to find us, I’m glad it’s him, especially since he already knows about us.
“This is not only disgusting, but it’s completely irresponsible!
” he snaps, while seeming to do his best to keep his voice down as he zeros in on me first from behind parted fingers.
“Lottie, I almost went blind. You have to be more careful. You cannot be doing this. What if you get caught? Can you imagine how that would look with a photo of you two smashed together all over social media, while Bodan is literally getting ready for a funeral?”
I stand slowly and step toward Ham. “I know. You’re right. This looks bad, but for the record, this wasn’t what we were doing. We were standing here when we saw your shadow. We panicked, fleeing behind the wall without realizing how small it was. We had to smoosh together.”
Ty gets up and brushes his pants off. I have a hunch he doesn’t care if they are dirty, but it’s an awkward moment where he avoids making eye contact with Ham. “How did you even find me?” I look around for a clue I may have left, but it’s dark in this corner of the park.
“Mom has your location on your phone turned on, and she was worried about you being out so late. She was coming to look, but I had a hunch you two were out. I told her I was heading into town anyway.” He wags a finger at me.
“You’re lucky I covered for you, but I’m not making this a habit. This was too close of a call.”
“I know.” I start walking back slowly, and Ty and Ham fall into step with me. It’s a little too awkward to say anything in front of Ham, so when we reach the hotel parking lot, I just wave at Ty. “Thanks for tonight. I’ll text you.”
I think he’s going to stay quiet, but instead he leans in close to my ear and whispers, “Always.”
A shiver runs from my ear straight down my spine, as his single word echoes in my head. His mouth curves, just barely, like he’s trying not to smile. He knows exactly what that word means to me, and to us. It’s a lifetime of memories already filed away together.
As I hold his gaze, the teasing drains out of his eyes, replaced with intent that sends a fluttering ache through my stomach.
Everything is moving so fast, but after all these years of waiting, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
He does what he needs to protect me by disappearing into the hotel entrance, leaving me standing there with a hollow ache in my belly and—Ham, who I avoid looking at like he could turn me to stone.
I haven’t done anything wrong, but he’s a reminder of how complicated my life is.
It’s the strangest dichotomy; my heart feels both full and heavy all at once.
The night is ending, but my feelings for Ty are far from ending. They are only growing stronger with each stolen kiss.