32. Tyson #2
My chest tightens. This is news to me. I assumed since we kissed, and we’ve both said how much we care, that we were together.
That’s what I want. I’m not looking at anyone but her.
Ever. “I don’t want to mess anything up either…
” I swallow. “I don’t think we’re rushing.
We’ve spent years learning about each other as friends. We’re allowed to skip a few steps.”
A pause clamps my heart in a chokehold. I put my hand over my chest, waiting for her to confirm we are on the same page. When she stays quiet, I blurt, “I want to be with you. This isn’t just a hey-we’re -in-the-same-city-for-a-week fling for me. Isn’t that what you want?”
Her breath stutters, but she quickly says, “It’s not a fling for me either.”
“Good.” I let the moment and my hammering heart settle. I don’t want to be confused. “So, we have Bodan, and that’s a technical issue we need to sort out, but just to be clear…we’re together, right? You want to be my girlfriend?”
Her eyes shine like she’s trying not to cry and failing in the best way. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Relief hits so hard I have to chuckle. Without thinking, I slide my arm around her back and pull her close. She tucks her face into my neck, and the skin-on-skin contact ignites a whirlwind of shivers through me.
“So,” she murmurs, “you still want to break up with Bodan for me?”
I grin into her hair. “Absolutely.”
“No, I was joking. I’ll handle it.” The softest chuckle leaks from her. “I can’t believe we are boyfriend and girlfriend.” She goes quiet, like she’s letting herself believe it. “This feels unreal.”
“Good unreal or bad unreal?”
“Good, of course, but Ham’s going to kill me.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I won’t let him.” I hadn’t planned on kissing her, though it’s all I’ve thought about since the last one.
Well, when I wasn’t thinking about hockey.
I’d forbidden myself to even touch her in public.
But when I look into her eyes, normally sea-glass green, they spiral with so many colors it’s like I’m seeing an entire forest of happiness.
And what happens next? I’ll just call it another oops.
One second we’re talking. The next, I’m cupping her face in my hand. She doesn’t hold back either, leaning in, her fingers curling into my shirt.
That is the part that gets me!
I feel it everywhere!
In my chest.
In my ribs.
In my intestines, which let out a happy gurgle like I just fed them cake.
I hope she didn’t hear it.
Did she hear it?
Our lips meet, painstakingly slow, irresistibly slow. I give her time to resist, letting her guide me to where she’s comfortable, which turns out to be a pretty good plan, because she melts into the kiss, stealing every last ounce of breath I have.
Crrrruuuunch!
The sound of someone stepping on rocks cuts through the air. I yank back and freeze. A figure lingers off to the side, phone raised as if filming. The fountain? Us? I hate to be arrogant and assume either is important enough to be filmed, but my heart jumps into my throat.
Lottie stiffens, her gaze locking on the person.
“Sorry,” the person says, moving into the light. It’s a woman, touristy-looking in cargo shorts and a Washington DC T-shirt. Likely photographing the fountain. I hope she was just capturing the fountain. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you two,” she adds.
“Oh, you’re not,” I throw out as casually as I can. Thankfully, she lowers her phone and disappears down the path.
“Phew.” Lottie laughs shakily. “I thought we were toast.”
“So did I,” I admit.
“That wouldn’t be good.” She chuckles, the sound thin. “But I think we’re okay.”
I toss another look over my shoulder. My heightened senses say not so fast. I want to believe her, but we are in a public place.
This might have been a stupid idea. I hadn’t planned on kissing her, but declaring we’re a couple?
That’s a huge moment. Standing, I take a step aside.
“Well, maybe we should walk. That might appear more casual.”
Following my lead, she stands and walks forward. “Yeah, that was close but … worth it,” she says like a confession.
“I have to agree.” My fingers twitch, hating I can’t grab her hand right now.
It’s a cruel game that after all the years of waiting to tell her how I feel, after I finally do, and we are officially together, I still can’t touch her in public.
Speaking of public appearances, I bring up something else.
“So, tomorrow is the last game. Are you able to come?”
“I don’t know.” Her face falls a little. “I want to, but I will probably need to ask Bodan to be the decoy, and I don’t want to drag this out. The more times we are seen in public, the harder it’ll be to break it off.”
“Maybe you can come by yourself.” I step closer, lowering my voice. “Nobody has to know you are there to watch me. It’s not like you are going to wear a wag jacket.”
“No jacket but I want to wear your jersey like a true fan.” Her eyes flick up, bright again. “My mom would love that.”
A chuckle tumbles from my lips. “She’d probably faint.”
“She would, but then she’d muster up the energy to kill me. She’s superhuman like that.” Lottie laughs, and I turn to marvel at how her whole face lights up.
I love looking at her.
“Maybe Ham could be the decoy. He already knows about us, and I’m his best friend. It makes sense he’d come to my game. If anyone asks, Ham dragged you along.”
“Ah.” She tilts her head, a smile spreading across her perfect lips. “That could work.”
“It will work.” My chest swells as I imagine her in the crowd. Just knowing she’ll be there fuels me even more.
“Okay.” She nods with conviction. “I’ll blackmail Ham into doing it.” She glances back down the path, then back at me. “And I hate to cut this short, but, you know, we almost got busted once already. I hate to push our luck. I should go.”
“I understand.” I say it, but my body doesn’t believe me. I plant my feet, knowing if I move even an inch closer, I won’t stop. I hold her gaze instead, because it’s the one thing I can do without crossing the line. “I hate I can’t kiss you right now.” The words scrape out of my chest.
Her cheeks bloom pink, and the sight nearly breaks me. She swallows, fingers curling at her sides like she’s holding herself back too. “Me too.”
I want to tuck her hair behind her ear, but I know even that is too much.
Once I feel her hair in my fingers, I won’t stop there.
As much as I want to kiss her, more than anything I want to respect the place she’s in and give her time to clean up the Bodan issue.
It would break my heart if anything I did caused a scandal.
“I’m not saying goodnight.” I give her a small smile, though it barely tames the ache in my chest. “Because I’m going to text you later.”
“I’ll text first when I get home.” She smiles at me, and even though it’s not the goodnight kiss I crave, it’s enough to let her walk away.
I let her go first, so we don’t get caught “leaving together.” Every step she takes solidifies in my chest that she is everything I’ve ever wanted. Wanting her is easy.
It’s this waiting that is going to slay me.