CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Honey, you’re not eating your salad,” Estelle tutted, tapping her knife on Malcolm’s plate. “I even added roasted beets. I know how much you love them.” Her smile was filled with warmth and the love only a smothering mother could provide.
Malcolm stabbed a piece of the blasted vegetable with his fork. He held out his arm, making a show of how excited he was to put that piece of tasteless root tuber into his mouth. “Mmmm, delicious,” he said through a mouthful, nearly gagging as he swallowed.
Glancing over at his father’s plate, Malcolm saw a pile of the squares hidden under his napkin. “Wonderful lunch, darling,” Craig said, hurrying to his feet to clear his and Malcolm’s plates.
Malcolm winked at his dad before turning to his mother. “Yeah, thanks, Mom. Lunch was great.”
Estelle beamed, patting her son’s arm. “Thanks, honey. Think of all the fun things we can cook together now that we’re staying here.” Malcolm could only hope his grin stayed fixed in place, otherwise it would break her heart.
Craig started loading the dishwasher, careful to dispose of the uneaten vegetables when his wife wasn’t looking. “What time is Javi picking you up?”
Malcolm pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. “Pretty soon, actually. I should get dressed.” He pushed back his chair, ready to grab his cane.
The thought of shuffling into the station with his walker made Malcolm want to dive out of a plane without a parachute. Deep down he understood his colleagues wouldn’t mock him, or even think less of him, but Malcolm needed his first time back at the station to not be a spectacle.
“Are you sure you shouldn’t use your walker, baby?” His mother was by his side, a hand pressed firmly to his lower back as he struggled to stand upright.
In his haste to throw Jessie out of the house, he’d missed one of his virtual physical therapy sessions. Now he was paying the price with stiff muscles and an achy back. “I’ve got it,” he said through gritted teeth. Patience was not a virtue that Malcolm possessed.
Apparently, his impatience included throwing the love of his life out of his home and inviting the chaos of his mother in instead.
Yet he knew he was doing the right thing with Jessie.
He’d seen the excitement when her boss called; knew her well enough to know she’d already begun mentally packing her bags.
These were the hardest times for him, when she was still there but not really there. Their kisses tasted different, the sparkle in her eyes was muted, and their embraces never lasted long enough. He was left with the husk of Jessie, and it always left him hollow and bitter.
Now Malcolm would go on record and admit he was no saint when they were on their “off” periods.
He’d dated here and there, although never anyone serious.
He always felt bad for these women, because while they were making plans for future trips and family gatherings, Malcolm was planning when they’d break up in time for Jessie’s next visit.
They were nice women whom he had fun with .
.. but never as much fun as he’d had with Jessie. Not even close...
Pulling himself from his Jessie-induced funk, Malcolm took the handle of the cane and stood to his full height. He only winced a little when he heard his back pop. Estelle pulled out another chair, and even his dad looked a little green around the gills.
“You okay, son? That sounded painful.”
Malcolm tapped his cane on the floor twice and nodded. “Totally fine. I’m going to change.”
“I can help,” his mother offered, already striding down the hallway.
Craig pushed to his feet and took his son’s elbow. “Let’s go make sure she doesn’t try to actually dress you. Hmm?” Practically melting into his father’s side, Malcolm shuffled down the hallway, grateful his dad understood the situation.
As they approached the bedroom, Craig held back. “You know,” he said, voice low, “if at any point you want Jessie to come back, we can go back to the hotel like that.” He snapped his fingers to punctuate his point.
Malcolm sagged against the wall. “Dad, not you, too. Mom’s been on my case all morning.”
His father held up his hands in surrender. “All right, never mind. I won’t pretend to understand that song and dance you kids have perfected, but I know love. That girl will still move heaven and earth for you, and I don’t want you to forget that.”
Malcolm scoffed. He couldn’t help himself. “She’d move half an earth away, you mean. C’mon, I need to get dressed before Javi gets here.”
No sooner had the words left his mouth than the doorbell rang. Estelle popped her head out of the bedroom and gasped. “He’s early! You’re not ready yet.”
“It’s not a date, Estelle. The boy needs three minutes to brush his teeth and put on a clean shirt.”
Judging from the once-over his mother gave him, Malcolm assumed she wanted him to have thirty minutes to get ready, not three. “Why don’t you let Javi in, Mom? Dad’s here if I need him.”
Always the good Southern Belle hostess, Estelle flitted down the hall.
Within twenty seconds, she and Javi could be heard laughing from the living room.
“Javi’s flirting should keep her busy for at least twenty minutes.
” Craig chuckled, opening the closet and pulling out a short-sleeved button-up shirt that was easy for Malcolm to put on and take off.
“Here, how about this and those khaki shorts?”
“Thanks.” Malcolm took his clothes and padded into the bathroom to freshen up.
He ran his hands through his hair, which was getting longer than he liked. His natural curls were starting to take over, and he already missed the no-nonsense prep that came with a buzz cut. It took longer than he wanted to get dressed, but Malcolm stepped out ready for public consumption.
Craig sat on the bed, scrolling through his phone absently. He looked up when Malcolm approached and offered a thumbs-up. “You look good.” Waggling his phone toward the cane, he added, “And you’re handling that thing like a pro.”
Malcolm jostled the stick. “Oh yeah, this is quite the look for a thirty-year-old fireman.” For a moment, the air in the room stilled. Malcolm rarely saw emotion on his father’s face, but suddenly it looked like the old man might burst into tears. “You okay?”
Craig nodded, clearing his throat and standing up.
He closed the distance to Malcolm, resting his hands on his shoulders.
“You’re a hero, Malcolm. What you did, that’s bravery.
I’m proud of you, son, and I don’t want you beating yourself up over a stupid walking stick.
Okay?” He patted Malcolm’s shoulders twice before stepping back.
“Now let’s get out there before your mother runs off with Javi. ”
“Thanks,” Malcolm said, unable to articulate more without bursting into tears.
When they made it to the living room, Javi and Estelle were seated on the couch. Clearly in the middle of a story, Javi waved his hands over his head, saying something that had her laughing so hard she almost fell off the sofa.
“Oh, Javi, you’re a card!” Estelle gasped for breath, fanning herself with her manicured hand, her diamond bracelet catching the light.
Javi took a bow before he saw Malcolm and Craig enter the room. “Smithy, and Smithy Senior!” He clapped both men on the back. “How y’all doing?”
Craig’s stern expression was all for show. “I’m fine, but I’ll be better when you stop flirting with my wife.”
Javi rocked back on his heels. “Flirting with the gorgeous, esteemed soap star Estelle Winters? Never!” He turned and winked at Estelle, who practically melted onto the floor.
“You really are trouble with a capital T,” she cooed, preening at the attention.
Malcolm groaned. “No argument here.”
Eager to change the subject, Javi gestured to the cane. “Look at you, Smithy! Already walker-free. The gang’s gonna flip when they see you.”
“Let’s get me to the station then.” Malcolm kissed his mother’s cheek and waved to his dad as he followed Javi outside.
“Have fun!” Estelle clutched her hands in front of her as she watched her son get into Javi’s truck with very little assistance.
Once the doors were closed and Javi pulled out of the driveway, he turned to Malcolm. “Real talk, man. How are you feeling? If this is too much, I’ll drop you back right now.”
“Ortiz, for the love of God. If you take me back home, I’ll beat that pretty face of yours with this cane.” He jostled the stick and glared.
Javi gulped, covering one of his cheeks. “Not my face! You wouldn’t do that to the gorgeous women of Pinegrove, would you?”
Malcolm smirked. “Try me.”
For the first ten minutes of the drive, they talked about the station.
What was happening with Trevor’s promotion, who was annoying whom, and even who had stolen the secret stash of peanut butter cups the chief hid in the garage behind the extra hose clamps.
The banter washed over Malcolm like a balm, and he reveled at being able to feel like a fireman again . .. even if temporarily.
As soon as Javi’s truck crested the hill that led to the firehouse, he asked the question Malcolm waited for. “Couldn’t help but notice Jessie wasn’t there.”
Malcolm’s jaw tensed. “You’re very observant.”
Javi stopped at a stop sign, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. “Everything okay there?”
“Yup. She wanted to go home and see her momma.”
“Uh-huh,” Javi said, flicking his turn signal with a little too much gusto for Malcolm’s liking. “You know what’s crazy? She saw Daisy yesterday. Told us all about it over pizzas, if I remember correctly.” He hummed to himself a moment, like he was a detective on the case.
Malcolm wiggled his cane, tapping it on the car door. “It sounds like you want me to rearrange your pretty face.”
Javi chuckled, pulling into a parking space near the staff entrance to the fire station. “No, Smithy, I don’t.”
Malcolm shook away thoughts of Jessie, focusing instead on the station.
Being back was a sensation that Malcolm wasn’t prepared for.
For years he’d come and gone with relative ease, never having to endure real hardships from the job.
Hindsight reminded Malcolm how lucky he was to make it this far in his career without major injury.
After stepping onto the gravel parking lot, his feet were still a little unsteady. Clearing past the lump in his throat, Malcolm had to focus on breathing. Pain zipped up his legs, but it was more the emotions of coming back that did him in. And boy, he really didn’t want to cry in front of Javi.
“You okay, man?” Javi was by his side, discreetly holding out an elbow to help steady his friend.
Malcolm leaned on him, grateful as he caught his breath. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just wasn’t expecting to feel ...” He paused, struggling to identify the emotions swirling through him. “Everything. I didn’t expect to feel so much.”
Always the jokester, Javi shrugged. “Meh, it’ll be our little secret. Crybaby.”
Malcolm nudged him in the ribs, but took a step toward the door. “Let’s get back to work,” he said, breathless as they stepped into the station.
Familiar sights, sounds, and smells assaulted Malcolm as soon as the door clicked shut behind them.
The air was cold from the industrial AC, with the aroma of burnt coffee and rubber.
Around them, his colleagues clicked away on their computers or gabbed by the water cooler.
It was the most beautiful scene Malcolm had ever seen.
“Guess what time it is, boys!” Javi shouted as he entered the bullpen.
Maxwell jogged up to them, pulling Malcolm into a quick, careful hug. “And girls,” she shouted at Javi, who smacked his forehead.
“And girls, Maxwell. My apologies. I’m so damned excited to have our boy back.”
Everyone gathered around them, Trevor and Chief Warren included. “Welcome back, Smithy!” Trevor playfully shoved his shoulder. “It’s great to see you here, man.”
“Same, Captain.”
Trevor beamed, clearly elated with his recent promotion. He knew Jessie was damn proud of her brother, too, but he pushed that thought aside. Now was not the time to be thinking about her.
“It’s really good to see you standing, son,” Chief said, blinking rapidly.
“Thanks, everyone. It’s great to be back, even if it’s just for a fundraising meeting.” He turned and chuckled at Javi’s sullen expression.
“This year’s fundraiser is going to be amazing.” Javi clapped his hands, getting everyone’s attention. “Let’s get to the conference room, because we have a special guest joining us and it’s going to be fabulous.”
Trevor rolled his eyes, pressing a coffee mug into Malcolm’s waiting hand. “You’ll need this, man.”
Over his shoulder, Javi barked, “Yo, cap! I’ll take my coffee black.”
“You’re a menace, Ortiz!” Turning back to Malcolm, he asked, “You sure you want to come back to this nut house?”
Malcolm nodded. “More than anything.”
Trevor’s expression turned serious. “We’ll get you back here on desk duty as soon as my sister whips you into shape.
” He craned his neck and glanced around the station.
“I’m actually surprised she didn’t invite herself to this.
You know Jessie. When she’s on the job she’ll stick to you like shit on a wool blanket. ”
Malcolm rubbed at the back of his neck, a headache blooming at the base of his skull.
“She’s, uh, gone back to stay with your momma for a bit.
” Trevor’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say a word.
“You know my mom. If she doesn’t get to smother me to death while she’s here, I’ll never hear the end of it. ”
Trevor smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Malcolm had made a rule to not discuss Jessie and him too much with her big brother. It wasn’t because Malcom didn’t trust the other man, but because Malcom respected Trevor too much to pull him into their will-they-won’t-they drama.
“Well, make sure Estelle doesn’t coddle you to death. We need you back with Maxwell on the ambulance.”
Malcolm stayed back a moment while everyone filed into the conference room. He slurped his coffee, wincing at the familiar metallic burn. Maxwell must have made this batch, as it was thick as tar, the grounds barely filtered through. He loved it though—the coffee and being back.
Perhaps that was his problem. While he was happy where he was, content in his career and friends, Jessie still yearned for something else, something bigger than Pinegrove. Why couldn’t she see what was right in front of her?
That realization burned almost as much as this horrible coffee, but Malcolm had to believe it would work out in the end. Because at the end of the day, he just wanted Jessie to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with him ...