Chapter 16
The following day, we managed to arrive at the Amité buffet at just the wrong time, and the queues outside were stretching along the corridor so instead, we went to the Bizet restaurant for lunch.
‘I don’t care if it will be slower here,’ I said, ‘it will give us a chance to relax and just chat.’
‘Which is exactly what I was talking about. Every time we go anywhere we get stopped by people wanting to talk to me.’ Diana hunched her shoulders and pulled a face. ‘Isn’t it weird? I think I’ve talked more in the last few days than I have for five years.’
‘Well, I’m delighted,’ I said, and I gave a happy sigh. ‘Let’s have some wine too, after our so-called failed attempt at abstinence. Let’s go mad.’
I looked across the table at my sister and was thrilled to see the change in her, even after just our short time together. She was wearing a bright pink silk shirt she had bought in the on-board shop, and she had tied her wayward hair back with a jewelled barrette. The nervous, rather subdued person of the last few years was blossoming. Or rather returning to the sort of fun-loving person she had once been. The sister I remembered from our years growing up together, when she had been the first one on any dance floor, the first one into the latest fashions, and the last one to leave any party.
‘This sounds good,’ Diana said after a few minutes perusing the menu. ‘Listen to this, what do you think? Succulent braised, meticulously diced beef, dressed with a piquant sauce, hand-sliced pickle and fresh green leaves served in a handmade brioche roll with fine sliced and triple fried potato shards.’
‘So burger and chips then?’ I said.
‘Ideal, that will do me. We get to Naples next. I think I’m going to like that.’
I nodded. ‘I went there on a school trip one summer when I was fifteen, do you remember? We were supposed to be focussing on the art and culture, but all we did was attract the local boys. They used to follow our coach around in little Fiat 500s, even on the trip up Vesuvius. It was marvellous. I had my first ever cappuccino in Sorrento and my first kiss on a beach just outside Vico Equense.’
‘How romantic. I was so jealous, stuck at home with the parents, and it never seemed to stop raining.’
‘I was looking at the photos recently and marvelling at the shortness of our summer dresses. No wonder Dad was always dragging me back into the house to change when I went out.’
‘Me too. “Who are you hoping to attract,” he’d say, “some local yobs?”’
I laughed. ‘I would have been happy to attract anyone back then. I thought I was fat, and looking back at the pictures I obviously wasn’t. I wonder how many years I have been dieting since then? Fifty? That’s a bit sad.’
‘And do you remember the things we used to eat? The hard-boiled egg and grapefruit diet? Strange, puffed-up rolls that had the texture of communion wafers and disintegrated when you bit into them. Meal replacement biscuits that were basically four custard creams in posh packaging.’
I laughed. ‘I went to a slimming club with Mum for about six months. If someone lost weight they got a round of applause, if they gained they were made to stand up and got a public telling-off. Looking back on it, Mum wasn’t overweight either.’
Our meals arrived at that point. The fries in a little metal cone lined with gingham paper. We exchanged a knowing look over the table.
‘I told you, burger and chips. It does look good though,’ I said.
I pulled the flag-adorned skewer out of my burger and Diana topped up our wine glasses again.
‘When did everyone start drinking wine? I don’t remember our parents ever having any in the house. Mum would have one sherry before Sunday lunch and Dad drank beer.’
‘These chips are fantastic,’ I said, taking another one.
‘They’d taste better wrapped in newspaper, I bet,’ Diana said.
I looked around the restaurant which was gradually filling up with people. Everyone looked relaxed and happy. I wondered what Eddy was doing, and hoped it wasn’t anything too dangerous, though what trouble he could get into digging a hole and laying concrete slabs was anyone’s guess.
I allowed myself a little daydream of us sitting out on his new patio, in the late afternoon sunshine with a glass of wine and some elegant canapés. Where they came from, I wasn’t sure because I’d never made any, but perhaps now we were both retired I would have the time to think about things like that. Although Eddy always said he found canapés a bit disappointing. Perhaps we would have a cheeseboard instead, with big hunks of sour dough bread. And maybe we would be having a conversation about where to go on our next holiday. A New England road trip. That was what Evelyn had suggested.
I imagined us driving through autumnal woodland, in an open top, red Cadillac. No, it would be too cold, and Eddy wasn’t a great fan of sports cars and there wouldn’t be room for all our luggage. A big four-by-four vehicle with enormous tyres. It would be called something like an AMC Thug, or a Ford Juggernaut and it would let out a throaty roar at traffic lights as we burned rubber. I liked the sound of that. Eddy would love it.
‘I’m looking forward to getting to Italy,’ Diana said.
I dragged myself back from my thoughts about Eddy and me antiquing and going into cute country stores to buy maple syrup.
‘We’re booked onto the Pompeii tour; I hope this time we will be allowed to see everything. When I went there on the school trip there were areas where women and children weren’t allowed in because the frescos and mosaics were rude, and we might have been upset.’
Diana laughed. ‘Times have changed. I don’t think the threat of seeing some frolicking Pompeiians would upset anyone now.’
We ploughed through our meal, as around us the tables filled up with other diners.
‘I don’t think I frolic much any more,’ I said thoughtfully.
‘Well, I certainly don’t! Perhaps we should?’
‘You’ve changed your tune.’ I sipped my wine.
‘We’re not too old to frolic, are we?’ Diana said quietly.
‘There’s no law against it. Although my dodgy knee might hamper things a bit.’
‘Yes, but are we too old?’ she repeated.
She didn’t seem able to meet my eye.
I wondered what was going on in her head. Was she more taken with Rapha?l than she was letting on? What would I do if I were in her position?
‘For what? Frolicking? I don’t remember being told there was a cut-off date, do you?’
Diana blushed. ‘No. I just wondered.’
Hmm. I watched my sister as she pulled the gherkin slices out of her burger and arranged them neatly on the side of her plate. Diana was evidently in a mood to chat. I would have to take it slowly so as not to put her off.
I put my half-eaten burger down and dabbed at my mouth.
‘I think frolicking is a good thing and I don’t care what the younger generation think. But I have realised recently that there is a cut-off date for worrying what other people think of us. Perhaps when one is forty, people are surprised to see us messing about and being silly, but these days at sixty and seventy we have the excuse of old age. They don’t expect us to know any better.’
‘I didn’t mess about when I was in my forties or fifties. In fact, I look back now and wonder what I did do. Endless housework, travelling, packing and unpacking suitcases. I was thinking back to when we were kids. Mum never wore trousers did she, and she wore a full-length slip every day,’ Diana said, ‘and although she used to daydream about Alan Whicker carrying her off in his Rolls Royce, I don’t think she ever looked at any man other than Dad. And they were married for nearly fifty years.’
‘Do you think they had a happy marriage,’ I said.
Diana took a bite of her burger and looked thoughtful.
‘Actually, do you know, I don’t think they did. It was just the way things were.’
‘Did you have a happy marriage?’
There was a long pause while Diana fiddled with the cutlery on the table and moved the salt and pepper around like chess pieces.
‘Fairly,’ she said at last. ‘It was okay as long as things were done Casper’s way. I think today people would say he was controlling. But of course, now that he’s gone, it sounds mean to say anything other than what a great husband and father he was. Look at the people on this ship. No one has a bad word to say about him, but I know the truth. Shall I tell you the most surprising thing about that evening with Rapha?l?’
Aha! She had brought up the subject, not me.
‘If you like,’ I said, trying not to sound too eager.
‘We didn’t talk about him all the time. He asked me things about myself and listened to what I said. And he didn’t try and explain anything. Or argue I was wrong. I was thinking about it a lot afterwards, and I realised we were just having a normal conversation. And we made each other laugh.’
‘So, that’s unusual?’
‘Casper didn’t laugh at the same things I did. He had a sort of custard-pie sense of humour. I suppose it’s all those years of watching people getting thrown into the pool on the ship. He hated costume dramas or anything sentimental. I had to binge watch things like Downton and Pride and Prejudice when he was away.’ Diana paused and looked at me, doubt in her eyes. ‘Oh dear, am I being very disloyal?’
‘I don’t think so. It can’t have been easy taking the place of an entire ship’s crew doing his bidding. That didn’t leave much room for you, I’m guessing.’
Diana looked away. ‘I thought all men were like that. In all the years we were married I don’t think we ever had a proper argument.’
I laughed. ‘Eddy and I have had some humdingers over the years, and I don’t mind that. It clears the air. Let’s just say he never bought me a domestic appliance as a birthday present ever again.’
Diana laughed and took a bite of her burger, looking thoughtful for a few minutes.
‘Would you say you and Eddy were happy? Are happy?’
I shrugged. We had been together for so long that it was a while since I had even thought about it. But I was surprised how much I was missing him and I did know I would be lost without him.
‘Yes, I think we are. I mean the first flush of romance doesn’t last, does it? I don’t know any couple where it hasn’t gone off the boil at some point. In fact, the pair who seemed the most demonstrative were you and Casper. And sometimes I used to envy that. He was always so smart and well mannered. Fetching coasters for the drinks and handing round nibbles. Topping up wine glasses and calling you darling all the time. When we were at home Eddy would sprawl on the sofa in his dressing gown, and spill crumbs all over the floor. No wonder the dog loved him so much. Do you know, he had a favourite trick – he’d say, “have you seen the urgent note I’ve put on the fridge door?” and of course like a muppet I’d go and look. And there never was a note, but he’d shout, “while you’re there will you get me a beer?”’
‘Oh, there’s Evelyn,’ Diana said, spluttering with laughter, ‘shall we ask her to join us?’
We both turned and waved at her as the waiter escorted her to her usual table near ours.
‘Hello both,’ she said brightly. ‘Join you? Well, I’d be delighted. That’s no problem is it, Hector?’
Hector agreed it wasn’t and he quickly set a place for her between us.
‘Just a Caesar salad and some of that lovely poppy seed bread,’ she said. ‘Now then, how are you both? What are you talking about?’
‘Frolicking,’ I said.
‘Oooh, Douglas and I used to love a good frolic,’ Evelyn said, her eyes brightening. ‘I remember one time, many years ago, Douglas and I were at a conference, in a glorious hotel in New Hampshire. There were delegations from all over the world, talking about money of course. And Douglas and I had an unexpected free afternoon, and when we got back to our room, he confessed he’d taken a pair of handcuffs from one of the security detail and why didn’t we give it a go. So, we did, and then – rather too late – he realised he hadn’t thought to also take the key to unlock himself. And I was laughing so much I thought I would be sick. So, I threw open the French doors onto the balcony outside our room and went to catch my breath. Well, below me the entire Russian delegation were there in the garden drinking champagne. Russians love champagne. And as a man they all turned to raise their glasses to me and I realised I was only wearing some feathered mules and a very risqué negligee.’
‘Oh my God, what did you do?’ Diana breathed.
Evelyn pulled a face. ‘I had to get dressed PDQ and go and find one of the security team. But Douglas couldn’t remember if it was someone called Chet or Chuck so I had to ask around for a bit, and all the time poor Douglas was shall we say, uncomfortably restrained. Anyway, eventually I got hold of the key and sorted it out, but for the rest of the time we were there, the Russians kept sending over bottles of champagne to our table. Heaven knows what their bill was because it was Dom Perignon. And every time he got up to speak in meetings, they would roar their approval and applaud him. And of course, no one but me knew why. The rest of the British delegation were very confused, but a couple of years later he got this particular trade deal done with them when no one had expected he would. I think that’s why he got his knighthood. We did laugh. Anyway, enough about me, how was your date with the handsome photographer?’ Evelyn said, a wicked glint in her eye.
Diana mopped at her tears of laughter from Evelyn’s tale.
‘We had a nice time, but I don’t think it was a date.’
Well, I wasn’t having that.
‘She said some inappropriate things, spilled food down herself and kissed him.’
Diana’s eyes widened in alarm. ‘Jill!’
‘Well, that sounds fine to me, and let me tell you, I’ve had worse dates than that in my time,’ Evelyn said. ‘So when are you seeing him again?’
‘He’s supposed to be taking pictures of us, so I expect very soon,’ Diana said.
‘Good. Don’t let the grass grow. I have spent a lovely morning in the spa. Gisele told me I have the complexion of a much younger women. I hope she doesn’t want it back. I do love being fussed about with and pampered, and all the expensive potions seem to smell so wonderful.’
‘It’s a long time since I did anything like that,’ Diana said, ‘probably over five years.’
‘We must do it,’ I said.
‘There’s a beautiful Dutch girl called Anouk who works in the spa, she’s really good at massage. Face of an angel and the hands of an all-in wrestler. And then for anyone in need of a haircut…’ Evelyn paused for a moment and sent Diana a meaningful look, ‘ask for Jeannie. She’s a wizard with the scissors. They will try and tell you she’s fully booked, but mention my name and she will fit you in. And as for manicures, there’s no one better than Clara. I think she’s Belgian. Like Hercule Poirot and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Ah, here’s my salad.’
‘You really do know everyone don’t you?’ I said. ‘What on earth will you do when you leave the ship?’
‘I’ll go home and plan what to do next,’ she said cheerfully. ‘I shall spend some time with Wendy and Bill in Australia and then after that I like the idea of visiting on old school friend in California. Vida lives in the Napa Valley with her husband, Jericho, don’t Americans have the most marvellous names? Their family produces wine. She’s eighty-four so I’d better hurry up. I’ve been to so many funerals in the last few years. It could get very depressing, but that’s what comes when you get to my age. People keep dropping off the perch. There must be a marvellous party going on up there, that’s how I like to think of it. Getting old is a funny business. Inside I’m still the same enthusiastic child, wanting a pony or a new dress. But I’m trapped in a body that is basically a crumbling ruin. New hip, wonky knees, I’m not so steady on my pins as I used to be, two different sorts of glasses. It’s very annoying. So what about you two? What will you do when all this is over?’
‘I’m going to go home, appreciate my new patio and talk Eddy into some more adventures. Well, some adventures anyway. He used to be quite a wild one in his youth, but I think we have both sunk into middle age and taken each other for granted,’ I said, ‘and you’ve inspired me.’
‘Good, I’m glad to hear it. You may have twenty years to fill, maybe more if you avoid extreme sports and undercooked shellfish. When you get on the plane to America, remember my tip, give the cabin crew a little present, like I said. They love that,’ Evelyn said, grinding black pepper onto her salad. ‘Douglas and I used to stay in a hotel near Heathrow sometimes, and there used to be scores of cabin crew staying there. They were always so nice, beautifully turned out and they put up with a lot of bad behaviour. What about you, Diana? You’re suddenly very quiet.’
Diana looked up and I was surprised to see tears in her eyes.
‘I’m going to go and see my son,’ she said, ‘and try to make up for all the months when I was away. All the sports days and school events I missed. And then I’m going to see if I can help with the wedding plans, and then – I think I might write that book. Several people have asked me about it.’
‘Marvellous!’ Evelyn said, slapping one hand down on the table so all the cutlery rattled. ‘What fun you’re going to have.’
‘Yes,’ Diana said thoughtfully. ‘I realise that after Casper died, I never found the time to be happy because I was too busy being strong, and pretending I was coping. But I think I am going to have fun. At last.’
I sighed, happy to hear this. Thinking about my life with Eddy, I could see we had a predictable routine most of the time, but we still did laugh a lot. We did have fun without having to plan it.
‘And I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about your talk, everyone enjoyed it so much. I certainly did. You really should write that book you know,’ Evelyn said, ‘even if the names are changed to protect the guilty. Make it fiction, it would be hilarious.’
‘That’s exactly what I’ve said in the past,’ I said, while Diana looked thoughtful.
Evelyn nodded. ‘You know what Mark Twain said, “Writing is easy, all you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”’
‘I think there’s probably more to it than that,’ Diana said. ‘I’m not sure where I would start.’
‘Nonsense. And in the meantime,’ Evelyn said, ‘if you look out of the window, you can see Naples. As Shelley said, “A plane of light between two heavens of azure.”’
It didn’t look much like that when our excursion coach left the port the following morning.
We got on with everyone else and Rapha?l was there of course, taking pictures of us.
Diana seemed rather annoyed. Perhaps she was embarrassed.
‘Does he have to be around at every opportunity,’ she said, ‘and I know he is taking pictures of you, but why me too?’
‘He likes you,’ I said, ‘there’s nothing wrong with that is there?’
I sat down by the window and Evelyn slid in beside me. She was looking cool in a flowery silk dress and a strange sunhat with a long peak over her face and a trailing flap of fabric down the back.
Diana went to sit behind us, pointedly keeping to the aisle seat so that there was no chance Rapha?l would join her. He made no comment, just went to find a place at the back of the coach.
There was the usual tangle of containers, cranes and concrete buildings, and the traffic was terrible for a while. There seemed to be a lot of roadworks and men in high-vis jackets shouting at each other and at the cars. Occasionally someone would get out and look helplessly at the line of vehicles ahead of them and wave their arms about, and then there would be another argument, accompanied by a lot of car horns blaring.
‘It’s the passionate Italian temperament,’ Evelyn said soothingly, ‘it’s a wonderful thing to experience under other circumstances. I remember one summer in Campania in the Sixties, when we were first married. Douglas was working in Rome, and we rented a villa on the coast where I stayed with my school friend, Eleanor, and the heat in the city was punishing. My word, one couldn’t move for fabulous, sloe-eyed, snake-hipped young men. Promising undying love, offering to be one’s slave for a kind look. Eleanor and I had such fun. I think she received more proposals than I did. But she was practically engaged to a chap who worked for some American company. He had just proposed, and she said she needed time to consider it. I said eighteen was far too young to get married. But in those days… I remember she used to get very edgy because of all the pasta. She was very proud that she had an eighteen-inch waist, smaller than Princess Margaret’s apparently, something she reminded us about on many occasions.’
Eventually the traffic thinned out and we were off along a wide highway leading past the looming bulk of a large mountain.
‘Is that what I think it is?’ Diana said, poking her head through the divide in the seats.
Evelyn nodded. ‘Vesuvius, the cause of all the trouble. There used to be a bar right at the top, wonderful views if you don’t mind the smell of sulphur. I wonder if it’s still there.’
‘Let’s not find out,’ I said, wondering if the white clouds above it were actually steam.
Evelyn shook her head. ‘We won’t have time. I saw a BBC documentary that said it usually erupts to devastating effect every two thousand years. And the last time was AD 79, so it’s probably due any day now. Apparently the blast travelled at one hundred kilometres an hour. I don’t think the ship can go nearly that fast. What did they call it? A sand blast? An iconoclast?’
‘I think it was a pyroclastic surge,’ Diana said.
‘That’s the fellow,’ Evelyn said happily.
I looked up at the bulk of Vesuvius again and I hoped those really were clouds.