Chapter 16
JULIAN
I sleep fitfully.
I told her I wasn’t ready, but it wasn’t entirely the truth.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready, and that frightens me because I don’t know what to do with it.
So, I call my sister Pen.
“Hey.” She waves at the screen, and her familiar smile melts my heart. Then it fades. “What’s wrong?”
She knows me too well, no point denying it. “I met someone. An omega.”
“Oh my God. Does Mom know?” She glances at her bedroom door.
“No, and I don’t want you to tell her.”
“Have you kissed her?” This is my little sister, and she’s asking me if I’ve kissed the omega I’ve fallen for.
“No. It’s… complicated.”
“Why?” It’s an innocent question.
“Because there are other alphas involved.”
She tilts her head to one side. “Have they kissed her?”
That stings. “Yes.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” Her face comes closer to the screen. “Go out there and kiss her!”
I thank her for her invaluable advice and end the call. Then I write a succinct note on crisp paper and hand it to Lila Chen when I pass her in the hallways. “Can you give this to Elowen please?”
She slants her eyes at me and grins. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Walking away, I wonder if I should’ve written more, but it’s done now. Elowen will know when she reads it.
Library. 7pm. I need your expertise. -J
I avoid the others.
Six forty-five, I’m waiting in the library when Elowen comes in. She carries two scents now, and it feels right. Like they complement her own honey-green scent instead of overwhelming it.
She spots me almost immediately at the table in the far corner.
"You came." I imagine Pen rolling her eyes at me if she were here.
"You asked."
I stand and gesture to the chair beside me. Wanting her close.
She glances at the books spread across the table, old herbal texts. Historical references. "What did you find?"
I open one to a marked page. "Your surname. Rowan. It appears in historical texts about traveling healers." I’ve been sitting on this information since yesterday, waiting for the right time to share it.
She leans closer to read.
Among the notable practitioners of scent-based herbal medicine, Asha Rowan brought traditional knowledge from distant lands, integrating methods previously unknown to the northern valley healing practices.
Her breath catches. "That's—"
"Your great-great-grandmother." My chest swells with pride; I’ve given her something she had no knowledge of. "I traced it through multiple sources. She wasn't just skilled. She created a documented methodology."
"My grandmother never mentioned academic recognition."
"Perhaps she didn't know. Or perhaps she valued the practice over the documentation." I turn to another page. "But it matters. This isn't just family tradition. This is a historical contribution."
"You researched this?" Elowen studies me closely. "For me?"
"I wanted to understand your lineage. What shapes you." Pause. "And I was curious about scent-based medicine. The methodology is fascinating."
We work through the texts together for the next hour. I’ve marked passages, cross-referenced sources, built a timeline of Asha Rowan's documented work.
Our shoulders touch as we lean over the book. Her hand brushes mine turning a page, lingers half a second longer than necessary.
"You study people the way I study plants," she says quietly.
"I study you because I want to understand what I'm feeling."
"What are you feeling?" Her voice is husky, and it sends a shudder through me.
"That's what I'm trying to map."
The library closing announcement echoes through the space. Nine pm. We've been here for two hours.
I gather books and return them to their shelves. When I pick up her bag too, she doesn't protest.
We walk out together into the October night.
Campus is quiet at this hour. Most students are already back in their residence halls or claiming study spaces for late-night work.
We're halfway across the quad when I speak. "I've been thinking about what I said. In the dining hall."
"About what you want?"
"About not being ready." I look straight ahead. "I've been analyzing why."
"Julian, you can't control feelings." I sense her studying my profile as we walk, but I don’t look at her. "I know. That's why I've been thinking about them instead of feeling them."
"Does thinking help?"
I stop walking and face her.
We're in the middle of the quad now. Lamplight from multiple posts creating overlapping pools of gold. A few students are visible in the distance, crossing campus on their own paths.
"No." I manage a small smile. "Thinking doesn't help. I've been planning this."
"Planning what?" The gleam in her eyes tells me she already knows the answer.
"Kissing you. I've thought about variables, timing, location, making it… unique." I glance around the quad. Anyone could see us here, and I’m okay with that. “Then Pen told me to go out and do it…”
“You spoke to Pen about kissing me?”
“She was matter-of-fact about it. I want to kiss you, therefore I should kiss you.”
Elowen smiles. “She has a point.”
My lips twitch, but I’m too nervous to reciprocate her smile. "May I?" I cup her jaw gently with my hand, thumb at her pulse point.
"Yes."
I lean in slowly. Deliberate. And press my lips to her temple. Lingering there while she goes completely still.
"Your pulse just quickened," I murmur.
I kiss her cheek next. Longer this time. Her breath is warm against my skin.
She leans into it and whispers, "Julian, stop mapping and just—"
I forget to analyze her reaction and kiss her mouth. My free hand instinctively slides to the small of her back, holding her close. My breath catches, the control I was trying to maintain slips completely, and I give into it.
This is what I’ve been waiting for since the first moment I set eyes on Elowen Rowan. I hold her closer, feel her body pressed against mine, and a small sound, a whimper, escapes my lips.
When I finally pull back, we're both breathing unsteadily.
Footsteps nearby. A student walking past sees us standing close, stumbles slightly. “Oh, sorry!" They hurry away, head down.
I don’t pull away. "I don't care if they saw." I rest my forehead against hers. “Are you… Do you…” I feel her heart racing through our clothes.
She smiles, and my heart performs a somersault. “I’m happy, Julian. I don’t care if they saw us either.”
“Pen was right. I needed to stop thinking about it and get out there and do it.”
“It was the best plan.”
I finally relax against her and breathe in her scent. Unmistakably different. "Your scent just shifted." She nods. "All three of us now."
“Complete.”
"Clarity." I smile to myself. "You smell like clarity, and… books."
"Books.” Her lips linger near mine, our breaths mingling. “I was going to say sharp. In a good way."
"I'll take that."
We stand there for another moment. Neither rushing to separate. "I want to kiss you again, Elowen. Once was never going to be enough."
I don’t wait around. This kiss is brief, my hand tightening around her waist.
"I'll need to revise my calculations." I smile with the joy gurgling low inside my belly.
"Maybe stop calculating?" She arches an eyebrow.
"I'll try. No promises."
We walk the rest of the way to Hawthorn Hall in comfortable silence, our fingers entwined, and pause outside her door.
"Your scent will be different tomorrow."
She nods. "Good different though."
"Calder and Tyler will notice immediately."
"Is that okay?" She tilts her head, studying my reaction.
"It's right." I trace her jawline with my fingertip. “You have a small scar here, just below your ear. I noticed it weeks ago."
"Climbing trees as a kid." She chews her bottom lip, and I know I’ll never stop wanting to kiss her. "You notice everything."
"About you?" I peer into her eyes. "Yes." I kiss her one more time. "Goodnight, Elowen."
"Goodnight, Julian."
I listen to her movements behind the closed door before walking back to my residence halls, and I think about nothing but the feel of her lips on mine.