Chapter 29
Malin
Istarted to follow Cassius to the dining room. It was odd to be in my own home and feel like a stranger in it.
Dad stood in the center of the living room, unmoving. Then I heard his voice. “Malin. Hold up.”
I froze. After a few seconds, I turned.
Dad took a step toward me. “I’m really glad you came.”
Feeling my throat close up, I could only nod.
“He’s pregnant, isn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you okay with it?”
“Yeah.”
“Congratulations. It’s wonderful news.” He took another step forward. “He’s why you needed the money for Brimstone.”
A pang of regret stabbed my gut. “I want to pay you back. I can. I just need to liquidate some of my trust’s assets.”
Dad held up his hand. “I don’t want that. Don’t insult me. What I gave you, I gave you free and clear.”
I gulped. “Brimstone’s an awful place.”
“Well, he’s yours now.”
“That’s just it. I only rented him.”
“What?”
“For fifty years. It was the only deal they offered. Technically, he still belongs to Brimstone.”
Dad’s eyes took on an edge I’d seen in him my whole life when he was dealing with big business. “For that amount of money? They’re crooks.”
“They are. But I had to get him out.”
“I can help. Will you let me?”
Dad had done everything for me financially. I understood that was how he showed his love. Now, this. But the subject was not something to be taken lightly. It was Cassius’s fate this time, not mine. I swallowed what little pride I had.
“I would appreciate all the help I can get.”
“You’ve got it. He shouldn’t be a rental for the rest of his life.”
We stared at each other, the silence between us speaking volumes. Dad swung his hands in front of him, looking down, then back up at me. “I’ve missed you.”
I didn’t want to believe him. But something in his expression showed me he meant it. His eyes took on an uncomfortable shine. I heard myself say it. Words I never thought I’d utter.
“I missed you, too.”
“I have so many regrets,” Dad began.
I held up my hand. “Don’t—”
“Let me say my piece. Please.” He looked so regal and formal in his black suit. He was always dressed for business, although business casual when he gardened.
He continued. “I regret spending so much time away from here, from you. I wasn’t around enough and I’m sorry. It was so hard for a few years but I should have put more attention on you. For that, I am sorry. You needed more than I could provide.”
I knew it was hard for him. Father’s death, the breaking of a mate bond.
I’d lost the parent bond. Together we might have mourned, but instead we both closed up, turned away.
He left me with nannies and tutors. I graduated early.
After that I had a car, some friends, and I was left to my own devices.
“You provided me everything,” I countered.
“No. I didn’t. Not the love and healing you needed.”
I blinked away a sudden sting, shaking my head.
“I should have been there. For you.”
“He kept me from you. And afterward, well, what were we left with?”
“Each other,” Dad answered. “He’s not entirely to blame. I could have inserted myself more. Insisted on it. I worked seven days a week, long days. That was my choice, not a necessity. And I regret it. I love you, Malin. You are a gift. You were only ten. You’re not to blame, either.”
I opened my mouth but the words were suddenly lost as I felt hot splashes of liquid on my cheeks.
Dad moved forward without warning. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.
” His arms went around me. For a moment, I floated, feeling nothing, thinking nothing.
The first thing I became aware of was his scent.
He smelled like his garden: grass, flowers, weeds.
A memory flooded me. I’d been very young, not much older than Remington was now.
Dad had come in from the garden to sit with me by the fire.
He had a book. I remember his voice. I remember being on his lap as he read me a poem about a baby dragon learning to hold back his fire so he didn’t accidentally burn things up.
Then Father came and took me. I yanked on Dad’s shirt but was pulled away.
Dad did nothing. Just looked at me as I began to cry.
I held my arm out to him but he turned away.
The memory faded. Now strong arms held me. I was twenty-seven, almost twenty-eight, an adult now. But Dad felt like he did when I was four and he was reading to me. Holding me.
I pressed my face into the top of his shoulder. My breaths came in fits of coughs and gasps.
He repeated himself over and over. “Malin. I’m so sorry. Sweetheart, you don’t know how sorry.”
Slowly, my own arms came around him. My dad. Daddy. So much time. So much emptiness.
When I finally calmed, I pulled back. Dad’s face was wet, too.
I sniffed and glanced about the room. “Where’s Cassius?”
“At lunch. With Kirion. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah.” I swiped at my eyes. “Yeah.” But all I could think about was that I needed my mate near me. His presence grounded me. When I was around him, my emotions weren’t such a mess.
Dad put his arm around my shoulders, squeezed once and said, “Let’s go eat.”
In the dining room my heart soared to see Cassius and Kirion chatting happily.
Still a bit shaky, I sat next to Cassius. He glanced at me, eyebrows narrowed, then under the table he touched my thigh and grasped my hand, reaching for me as if to hold me in place. Our mate bond breezed to life like fresh air to starved lungs.
Dad sat across from me next to Kirion and Remington. I saw Kirion look at him. Between them there was a silent communication. Remington turned toward both of them, as if sensing it, all smiles.
I braced myself to feel my usual jealousy when someone had something I wanted.
I prepared to control myself around my brother and never show disrespect.
But as I watched them, their little family of three, the jealousy didn’t come.
In its place was something warmer and a gratefulness that my little brother was being well taken care of.
My tension released. I found I could eat and enjoy the food. Conversation around the table was somewhat trivial, but it sparkled because we were a family. That was all that mattered.
Dad said my old room was made up for me and Cassius. “You are spending the night, yes?”
I looked at Cassius. “You okay with that?”
“Sure. I want to. I want to get a better look at this place.”
“I guess we’re spending the night, then.” I met Dad’s eyes. “Thank you.”
Later, in the evening, with Remington put to bed, Dad and Cassius walked off together to look at some statue. I found myself momentarily alone with Kirion. We were back in the second living room having tea. He leaned back, both hands on his cup, his feet propped on the coffee table.
“When I was a kid, I wasn’t allowed to do that?” I pointed at his feet.
“Oh. Well, you can put your feet up now if you want. I won’t tell.”
I was on the other couch set at an angle, but I still had access to the coffee table. I lifted my feet and rested them on the surface.
Kirion watched me. His eyes were soft but he still had a wary look whenever he glanced my way. I didn’t blame him. Dad had bought him for me and I’d treated him horribly.
I opened my mouth. Tried to speak. It was embarrassing when nothing came out.
Kirion broke the silence. “You don’t have to say anything to me.”
I cleared my throat. “I do. I want to apologize for how I treated you when we first met.”
Kirion sipped his tea, still looking at me. He took the cup away from his mouth and said, “Thank you.”
We didn’t speak for another few seconds. Then I said, “You came without warning. I saw you as an intruder. I was wrong to take it out on you like I did.”
“He didn’t buy me for himself,” Kirion said.
“I know. It made me angrier.”
“I was a scared little thing.” He took another sip of his tea. “I thought Tane would send me back and I’d be sold to someone horrible. Tane was nice to me.”
“You didn’t deserve what I did. I’m glad he was nice to you. It’s great you two got together. And Remington is just lovely.”
Kirion smiled, most of the wariness gone now. “I’m glad you found Cassius and took him from that horrible place. I’m happy for you both.”
A minute later, Dad and Cassius returned, talking like they’d known each other for years.
Another new feeling filled up my chest. I wasn’t sure what it was. I was still learning. But maybe it was pride. Not for myself but for both of them.
When Cassius and I went upstairs to bed, I saw my old bedroom fresh and made up for me. But the adjoining game room was no longer there. It had been remodeled into an elaborate nursery and bedroom for Remington.
“That was my old game room,” I said to Cassius.
“Are you surprised it’s gone?”
“No. Remington deserves a big room like that.”
We went into the bedroom, shut the door and began to undress. As we got into bed, I said, “I’ll tell you what I am surprised about.”
Cassius came into my arms, pressing against me. “What?”
“That Dad kept this room for me. It’s still the same. What I didn’t take with me when I left is still here. The dresser. That chair by the window. And this bedspread. I thought I took it. Maybe he bought a new one just like it.”
“He kept it like this for you.”
“I didn’t expect it.”
“It’s a pretty strong message, don’t you think?” Cassius asked.
“A year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to see it. I do now.”
Cassius nuzzled the side of my face, then kissed me on the corner of my mouth. “Have I told you recently how much I love you?”
I scrunched up my face at him. “Yes. Just yesterday.”
“Well, I’m going to tell it to you every day.”
Did I deserve this beautiful man? Probably not. But he was mine. And I kissed him right on the mouth to prove it.