Chapter Forty-Eight
Zinn
Zinn kissed a sleeping Lachie and laid him in his crib, turning on the frog lamp on the nightstand. It had been a long night. After the play, they’d gone to the pizzeria with half the McGinn family and arrived home close to eleven. He hoped the baby would sleep through until morning.
Lachie looked peaceful, his pink bow mouth moving adorably in slumber. Still, Zinn was uneasy. Because of Valentin.
At the pizzeria, the baby had been passed back and forth between the Pashuks and the McGinns, bounced and cooed over while Calder and Zinn enjoyed the reprieve.
Next to Zinn, Teal exclaimed over Lachie’s size, “Our youngest, Shyla, is five now. I forgot how little they are at this age.”
The McGinns were famous not only for their five-man polycule but also for having ten children, including two sets of twins.
Zinn could only imagine how chaotic that was, but he supposed it was also a lot of fun.
He enjoyed spending time with the McGinn men, especially Teal and Sorcha, his fellow omegas.
He didn’t have many omegas in his life, other than Lachie, although he believed his connection with Assa was similar to the omega bond.
He glanced over to where Jordie and Ked played foosball with Kino, Zane, and Kino’s twin brother, Garin.
Ryde looked at their group longingly. Zane noticed and waved him over.
Zinn could have guessed that would happen. Zane was one of the sweetest and most intuitive young omegas he’d ever met. Zinn leaned close to Teal and asked if he thought something was developing between Zane and Ked, since they were both fifteen. Teal laughed and shook his head.
“Zane is nowhere close to being interested in boys yet,” he said confidently. “You remember how it was being a young omega. It’s like you have zero interest in anything sexual, everything you’re taught in school seems so foreign, until one day, bam, your entire life changes.”
“I never got the chance to take sex ed in school.” Zinn tittered, thinking of the clinical books his omega daddy had given him. “But I remember feeling like I’d been hit over the head the minute I bloomed.”
Sneaking a peek at Valentin, he recalled that long-ago day when he’d first laid eyes on the estate’s gorgeous new employee.
Lachie let out a loud burp. A second later, milky white spit-up trailed down the back of Teal’s shirt.
“I’m so sorry!” Zinn exclaimed, pulling the baby away with one arm while he rooted around in the diaper bag for a cloth.
“No worries,” Teal assured him. “What’s a little baby vomit between friends?”
Assa swooped in from Zinn’s other side and grabbed Lachie, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Come here, my little pumpkin-poo,” he murmured. “If you’re going to spit up on someone, it should be your de-de Assa.”
Zinn finally found the cloth at the bottom of the bag and used it to clean Teal’s shirt, the calm energy of the omega bond flowing between them as he dabbed the man’s shoulder.
Equally soothing was Assa coming to his rescue.
The red-haired beta stood next to Zinn’s chair, making silly faces at Lachie.
Zinn smiled at Assa’s use of de-de. They’d tried different monikers for the Pashuks since Lachie was born.
They’d tested bobo and appy and ya-ya, eventually landing on uncle by default because nothing sounded right.
When Lachie was two months old, Ryde suggested de-de, saying that uncle wasn’t fair because he got to call all the men by a “dad name,” so his little brother should too.
“De-de sounds pretty much like a daddy but not exactly a daddy,” Ryde reasoned.
Zinn and Calder agreed. Pretty much a daddy but not exactly a daddy was a great way to describe what Assa, Wes, and Valentin were to Lachie.
Assa tickled the baby’s lips with his index finger, causing Lachie to giggle. Zinn worried his bestie was playing with fire, considering the amount of vomit on Teal’s shirt. Still, as far as de-des went, Assa and Wes had been amazing so far.
Valentin, not so much.
Valentin was never overtly unkind to Lachie. He didn’t scowl at him or leave the room when he was there. But he actively avoided holding the baby or being too close to him.
Zinn did not understand why. He thought he and Valentin had gotten to a good place over the past year.
They had worked through their extraordinary situation with open communication and mutual respect.
Their love would always be there. Neither of them was interested in pretending it hadn’t happened.
But they’d created a new normal acknowledging that they were very different people now.
They were genuinely happy for each other’s new lives.
Valentin had also helped convince Zinn to get back on speaking terms with Asher.
Zinn didn’t know if they would ever be as close as they once were, but he appreciated that Asher had cut ties with their fathers too.
Zinn saw how remorseful he was. Not to mention lonely.
Zinn decided there had been enough pain in his life that he didn’t need to maintain his bitterness toward Asher.
He’d never forgive his parents, but his brother had earned his way back into his life.
At least for the occasional dinner or text.
Zinn could be charitable toward Asher because he had so much to be thankful for. He was partnered to the most caring alpha in the state, he had two beautiful sons, two bonus kids, soul-deep connections with Assa and Wes, his art, and good friends.
And he had Valentin. His first alpha, who still held a piece of his heart. And it hurt him to see Valentin not embracing his role as Lachie’s de-de.
Zinn tried not to let it bother him as he gathered up his things to leave the pizzeria, clocking Valentin keeping his distance from Assa and the baby. He waved goodbye to the McGinns, smile in place.
He couldn’t force it, but Zinn wanted Valentin in his baby’s life.
The little guy was already forming unique bonds with him and Calder, and Assa and Wes, not to mention all his brothers.
Zinn didn’t want Lachie to grow up with Valentin lurking in the background.
He wanted his son to know Valentin, to build bookshelves and plant gardens with him the way Ryde did.
But Valentin didn’t seem to want that.
Zinn kissed his fingertips and pressed them to Lachie’s cheek before backing out of the nursery.
Calder waited in the hallway. “Baby go down okay?”
“Like a champ. He’s a chest-feeding maestro. Drained both sides in ten minutes. He’ll be ready for solids soon.”
Calder smiled. “That was Jordie. Spent his whole first year eating.”
“Not Ked?”
“No. Denni wasn’t able to chest-feed Ked. He was tongue-tied, and then it was a whole ordeal with not being able to pump enough either. We switched to formula early on.”
“Sounds like you found what worked. I hate when omegas get shamed for not chest-feeding.”
“Luckily, Denni didn’t put much stock in other people’s judgements. He had an uncanny ability to say fuck ’em when warranted.”
“Every time you tell me stuff like that, I’m more bummed I never met him.”
Calder huffed out a laugh. “He would have loved you.”
“I’m just glad you talk about him more now.”
“You gave him back to me, sunshine.” Calder pulled Zinn to his chest. “Once you woke me up to the half-life I’d been living, I wanted all of it back. The love to come. The love I’d lost. Not just the parts that were easy to talk about.”
Zinn looped his arms around Calder’s waist. “Speaking of things that aren’t easy to talk about…”
Calder raised an eyebrow. “Are you finally going to tell me what’s been bothering you all night?”
“You knew?”
“That something was off? Uh-huh. You seemed okay, so I decided not to push it. But I recognize your fake smile. You wore it every day at Felton’s the first year you worked there.”
“You know me so well.” Zinn tugged Calder to their bedroom. The baby might be asleep, but he could hear Ked and Jordie moving around in their rooms.
“I like to think so.”
“Then I bet you can guess what’s bothering me.”
Calder sat on the bed and propped his back against the headboard. He motioned for Zinn to sit in his lap. Zinn straddled the alpha’s thick thighs, rising on his knees until they were eye-to-eye.
Calder tucked an errant curl behind Zinn’s ear. “I assume you’re bothered by Valentin being so distant with Lachie.”
“Yeah.”
“Just give it time. He’s working it through in his head, but he’s a good man. He’ll come to the correct conclusion in the end.”
“I know you’re right, but I just don’t understand. Before Lachie was born, we discussed it. I thought we were good.”
“Well, I suppose there’s only so much a person can do to prepare himself for a harsh reality, even when it’s something you spent a lot of time thinking about when it was theoretical.”
“But why is it harsh? I’m sure he doesn’t begrudge me having a baby. Or being with you. We talked about it.” Zinn thought back to his conversation with Valentin eight months ago. After that, he never would have guessed Valentin would be so aloof with Lachie.
“C’mon, sunshine. This was bound to dredge up some stuff, even with how much Valentin wants this for you, and how happy he is with Wes and Assa. The way the five of us have decided to be in each other’s lives is going to invite some messiness. Trust me, Valentin will get there.”
Zinn exhaled heavily. “I know.”
“Do you?” Calder cupped his cheek. “I feel like I need to keep reminding you that we still haven’t gotten to the end of this. We don’t know how it all turns out yet.”
Zinn eyed him quizzically. “I think we’re nearing end game, cap. Their house. Our house. Ryde. Lachie. Secrets out in the open. Me talking to Asher again. We’ve come through the fire.”
“Perhaps.” Calder lifted his shoulders. “But I’m pretty sure end game includes Valentin being close with Lachie.”
***
EIGHT MONTHS AGO