Chapter 15 #2
“I don’t think anyone deserves that. Could you imagine the whining we’d have to hear? It’s just... I was mostly joking about the whole thing because you both were so scandalized being in a toy shop and here you are wearing a butt plug for me.” She looked up at me, her blue eyes full of happiness.
Fuck. This was what it was all about. Making her happy.
“If you weren’t serious, I’m sure we could take the strap-on back since the box isn’t open.” I leaned over, reaching for the discreet black bags to find it.
“No, absolutely not!” She scrambled to stop me, and I hooked my arm around her and pulled her so she was on top of me. “Hey! That’s not very nice!”
I rolled and pinned her under me. “Maybe I’m not a very nice person.”
She pushed at my chest, and I grabbed her wrists, pinning them over her head with one of my hands. With my other, I tickled her side and she squealed in delight.
Settling my weight between her legs, I stopped my tickling assault on her and brushed the hair out of her face that had fallen loose. “Stay with us.”
Her squirming stopped and her eyes glossed over as if she was going to cry. “Ry...”
“Don’t think of all the reasons you don’t want a pack, think of all the reasons you do.
How can we truly let ourselves love each other and let each other in to see the deepest parts of ourselves if there’s uncertainty?
I know it’s scary, and I know it’s not what you wanted, but let us be your alphas.
Let us love you and take care of you. You don’t have to sacrifice the bond of a pack to pursue your dreams. We can support you in whatever you want to do.
” I knew the rest of the pack felt the same, even if some of them didn’t know how to say it.
“I wasn’t supposed to… I’m not…” She shut her eyes and it felt like she was shrinking down into the cushions. “I only came because I had to and thought you’d all send me back… It’s only been a few days. How can you already be so sure?”
“You don’t feel it?” I moved my hand down to her chest, right over her heart. “Because I feel this ache right here.”
A tear slid down her cheek, and I let go of her wrists to wipe it away. I knew she felt it too. It was in the way she looked at us, the way she trusted us like she’d known us for a lot longer. It was why she was crying.
“It scares me.” When she opened her eyes, there was sadness in them. “To be so connected with four other people… What if… I don’t think I can.”
“What if what?” I could practically feel her sadness and anxiety radiating off her and started to purr to comfort her. “What if something happens to one of us?”
She nodded, her hands snaking around my waist to pull me closer.
“My mom still had five mates and just one dying almost killed her. She’s never been the same.
I don’t even want to think about if one of my other dads…
” She choked on a sob, and I moved to the side of her a little so I could pull her into my chest without squashing her.
“Your dads won’t let that happen. That’s the beauty of a pack.
We’re there for each other no matter what.
You can’t let the tragedy in your life stop you from having that for yourself.
Even a day of feeling the love in a bond will be worth any amount of pain that might happen down the road.
” I rubbed her back, my purr vibrating through me.
I could already feel her calming down in my arms.
“What about Beck? I can’t be in a pack where one of the alphas doesn’t want me.” She buried her face in my chest and inhaled my scent, her tears soaking through the fabric.
“He’s just prickly on the outside… He gave you his knot, didn’t he?” I wasn’t exactly happy about that fact when he was being such a royal ass, but maybe it was what he needed to come to terms with his feelings.
“I’ll always be a mistake to him. There won’t be a day that goes by that he doesn’t look at me and think about how I was supposed to be my sister.”
A growl made both me and Kayla jump slightly.
“That’s not true.” Beck had snuck in, or just come in and we hadn’t heard him.
We both looked over at him standing at the edge of the sectional, a vase of roses in his hand. I couldn’t help but smirk a little. He was definitely on the same page as the rest of us, he just didn’t want to admit it.
“Why is she crying?” He cut me an accusatory glare, his growl still coming out in little bursts of warning.
“I’m right here. And I was crying because I felt like it.” She pulled out of my arms and propped herself up on her forearm but was trapped between me and the back of the couch. “Are those for me?”
Beck sighed, his growl dissipating as he set them on the coffee table and sat down by our heads. “Yes. I wanted to apologize for my behavior.”
“I’m listening.” She lay back down, but adjusted her position so she could look up at Beck.
“I’ve been out of line and you don’t deserve how I’ve been treating you.
I have a lot of issues I need to work through, but that’s not your problem, it’s mine.
” He slouched down so his neck was resting on the back cushion.
“There’s always been a lot of uncertainty in my life, and you’ve stirred up some of those things. ”
I nuzzled my face against Kayla’s arm as she listened and processed what he was saying. It was the same thing I had just told her, and I hoped she could see that of all of us, Beck needed her to decide the most.
“What kind of uncertainty?”
Beck blew out a breath. It took him a few years to even tell us about his past, so I knew it was hard for him to share. I reached over and put a hand right above his knee, hoping it gave him some comfort.
“My parents… they didn’t have the best luck when I was younger, and when I was ten, they lost everything in a bad investment.”
“Everything as in…” I could feel her unease start back up again. She cared, even if she was mad at him.
“We were homeless. At first, it was okay because we had a spot at a shelter, but then they both started selling drugs, which turned into using drugs. Anyway… they were both arrested when I was around sixteen, and I went to live in a group home since no one wants to foster a sixteen-year-old boy. The only thing that saved me from being homeless when I turned eighteen was emerging as an alpha and getting a scholarship.”
Kayla was trembling slightly, and I started my purr up again. “That’s... I’m sorry you had to go through all that, Beck.”
He shrugged and scooted forward, getting ready to get up. She grabbed his hand, and he looked over at her. I felt like I was intruding on a private moment between them.
“Stay. We’re going to watch a movie.” She scooted so her head was on his thigh, but that also meant her boobs were right in my face.
“You two can watch a movie. I’ll just lay right like this and watch these.” I put my face right on them. “Yup, this is paradise.”
“You’re ridiculous.” Kayla’s satisfied sigh and hand running through my hair let me know she enjoyed it.
I could feel her that much closer to staying, and I smiled to myself, thinking about how good life was going to be.