Separate
Chapter twenty-four
My plan was working. Everyone seemed pissed with me for initiating it, but it was working.
It had been a month since our two feral alphas had bonded Olivia. There hadn't been a single moment of potential feral behavior from either of them since. She also hadn't bonded Zephyr or me, but that could wait. The entire purpose had been to save our feral alphas and they were doing great.
I smiled as I watched my pack splashing in the water.
We'd come to the beach, our first pack outting since it had become too dangerous.
But after a month, the men had been tested and proclaimed in remission.
That meant they would always have the potential to go feral, but it wasn't likely unless they lost their omega. She was the glue holding us together.
"Aren't you coming in?" Olivia asked, walking over. She'd filled out over the past few weeks. I'd figured out what foods she liked and made sure to cook them as often as possible, though the little omega would try anything.
I looked at the woman in front of me. The sunken eyes and jutting collarbones were gone.
Her mating marks stood out, pink scars that she still blushed about when she touched them.
Her light brown hair was braided back to keep it out of her face when in the water and she was wearing a pink bikini that left little to the imagination.
Zephyr and I had retreated to our own space and let the three of them have their time.
But I was aching to touch her. To claim her like the others had.
It was an ache that I couldn't get rid of, knowing that I was very possibly going to be left out of the pack I led.
But watching them together, seeing the men I thought I'd lose to a disease, playing in the surf and splashing water at each other in the summer sunshine?
I'd trade my life for that, so a lifetime of being unbonded would be survivable.
"Come on," her cold, damp hand slid into mine. Like it always did when she touched me in any way, my cock sprang to life. If Olivia noticed, she didn't say anything. She just tugged me along to the water's edge.
"Ah, the miserable old man finally joins us," Vale grinned. "Get your ass in here."
I wasn't really in the mood for horseplay, but they dragged me into their twisted game of water polo and before I knew it, I was having fun. Laughing, despite the constant ache in my chest. The constant reminder that I'd messed something up, though I couldn't really figure out what.
"Hey, what's going on with you?" Zephyr asked, during a lull.
Olivia was floating on her back, bobbing with the waves and every man around was watching her. That smooth belly, the swell of her breasts, hair that had escaped from her braid floating around her.
"You know. Same old, same old."
He sighed. "Man, you have to get over it. You chose to do things in a really fucked up way and… well, this is what happens. She'll eventually take us on, too, I'm sure of it."
"You, yes, but I'm not sure about myself," I told him.
Zephyr leaned in and kissed me soundly on the lips. "You, my dear man, spend far too much time worrying. Let loose, have some fun. Let her see what you look like when you're not brooding or kidnapping omegas."
Rolling my eyes, I followed him as he slipped over to where the others were.
For the rest of the afternoon, I pretended I was having a blast and I almost did enjoy myself.
But when Olivia jumped up and wrapped herself around Vale and Dean came in to kiss her neck from behind, I realized that I had already missed out on so much.
A whole month of being loved by this sweet omega.
By the time we got home, I was down enough that I grabbeed a bottle of whiskey and headed into my office. I needed to get some work done and maybe it would take my mind off what was going on in my pack.
I didn't even realize how long I'd been working when I heard a knock on the door, looked up and realized it was dark outside.
"Come in."
Olivia stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. She was dressed in the warm flannel pajama set that we'd bought her early on, though they were nearly too small now that she'd filled out a bit. I made a mental note to order another set in her size.
"Are you busy?"
"Not now. Have a seat." I gestured at the sofa along the side of the room.
Olivia went to the sofa and sat down, tucking her legs under herself. "We need to talk."
"Okay." I steeled myself for what she had to say. It couldn't be good if she'd sought me out alone like this. "What's up?"
"We got off on the wrong foot, for obvious reasons," she started. "I know you weren't thinking about me or omegas in general, apart from being a cure for your pack. And you were right about that, since the guys are obviously doing really well."
"They are," I said. "Thank you for helping them. I can never repay you for that."
"Well, the two of them are bonded, but that splits the pack. Don't think I haven't noticed how you mope around when I'm with them. And Zephyr is patient, but he's also getting anxious about not being bonded."
I waited, unsure of where she was going with this.
"I think it's time to bond the two of you. We're all settled in our bonds now and I'm feeling more stable now."
Olivia's hands plucked absently at the flannel she wore, as she waited for my response.
"Are you sure you want to bond with us? Neither of us will force it and I know how you feel about me," I told her.
"I don't hate you. And you're the leader of the pack I love."
The words sent a knife through my heart. She loved my pack, not me. Ouch.
"Okay, that doesn't mean you need to bond me." Why was I trying to talk her out of this? I was crazy. For a moment, I wanted to take it all back and just walk over and bite her now.
"It does. Also, I like you," she admitted. "I hate what you did. I don't like that you think of omegas as useful to you, rather than as people. But overall, you're decent."
"Thanks for the compliment."
"You bought me, that's not something that just goes away. But I want to be part of this pack and you're part of it, so…"
"I'm the consolation prize," I said bitterly. "Well. My answer is no. I won't bond you. But you're free to claim Zephyr and vice versa. I'll stay out of the bonds."
"Why?" She looked confused.
"Because you don't really want me. You want my pack. And in order for them to be happy, I would do anything, including living without an omega. You can be theirs, but not mine and we'll still be a pack."
Olivia bit her lip, studying me. "You're miserable."
"I'll try to hide it better." I rubbed my hand over my face. "Look, I get it. I didn't do things the right way. I fucked it all up and everyone hates me for it, but it did get the resutls. I don't know what else I could have done."
Her lips turned down. "I know you don't. I wish I could make you understand, but I can't."
We sat in silence for a while, then Olivia stood up. "I'm going to go talk to Zephyr. Thank you for letting me bond them."
I watched her leave while my heart cracked in my chest. She was going to take the last thing I had away from me. Zephyr and I had been together off and on for years and now he would finally be claimed by an omega. He wouldn't need me any longer.
My heart was heavy as I leaned on the desk, trying to think of how to put things right again.