32. Finn
Chapter Thirty-Two
Finn
Iwake up tangled around Kaia. And for a second, everything feels perfect.
She's warm against me, soft and real, her hair a mess against the pillow.
I smile into the pillow before I even open my eyes all the way.
My arm is draped over her waist, her back pressed to my chest, and I can feel the steady rise and fall of her breathing.
Yeah. This is nice. This is really, really nice.
But then, something shifts. Something feels off. I blink, lifting my head slightly, and that's when I notice.
Jonas isn't here. Adrian isn't either.
Huh. That's weird.
I glance around the bed. Lachlan's still here, stretched out on the other side of Kaia like he owns the place, which, I guess he kind of does, but that's beside the point.
The point is that the bed feels too empty. Too quiet. The space where Jonas usually sleeps is cold, the blankets undisturbed.
A flicker of unease stirs inside me. I try to push it down—that little flicker of anxiety that starts curling in my stomach. It's fine—they're fine. They're probably just up early. Adrian's probably working. Jonas is probably...I don't know. Running? Reading?
But the bond feels...muted. Not gone. Just...distant. And that's not normal.
Lachlan looks over at me, already awake, and smiles softly. "Good morning, handsome," he whispers.
I grin despite the tightness in my chest. "Hi, Alpha."
He winks, and yeah, that does something to me. Always does.
I untangle myself from Kaia, careful not to wake her, and slide around the bed to Lachlan's side. He wraps an arm around me, pulling me close, and I melt into him like it’s inevitable.
Man, I love him.
His hand moves to my hair, fingers threading through it slowly, and I close my eyes for a second. Grounding. Steady. Safe.
"Where are they?" I whisper.
Lachlan's hand pauses for just a fraction of a second before continuing its slow rhythm. "Jonas got a bad migraine last night," he says quietly. "Had a rough couple of hours. Adrian stayed with him."
My heart rate picks up but I try to keep my face neutral. Try. "Is he okay?"
"Yeah," Lachlan says, his voice calm and certain. "He's okay. The meds just knock him out. I'm assuming they're both still sleeping."
I nod, but the anxiety doesn't ease—not really. Because I should have felt it; I should have known. The bond should have woken me up, should have pulled me to him, but I was so wrapped up in Kaia, so content and warm and safe, that I slept right through it.
What kind of Omega doesn't notice when their pack is hurting?
Lachlan's hand moves to my jaw, tilting my face up gently. "Hey," he says softly. "He's fine. I promise."
I swallow hard and nod again. "Can you check on them?" I ask, my voice quieter than I intended.
I would—I should, but I can't. Not right now. Not like this. Because if I go in there and see Jonas still in pain, still exhausted, I'll spiral. I'll make it worse. I'll hover and fuss and probably cry, and that's not what he needs.
Lachlan nods easily. "Of course." Then he looks between me and Kaia, who's still sleeping peacefully, her face soft and relaxed in a way I've never seen before. "You two start breakfast," he says. A beat. "And no using the stove," he adds, looking directly at me.
I scoff, the tension breaking just slightly. "I've only burned like...three things."
"You burned toast," he says flatly.
"That was the bread's fault."
Kaia stirs slightly, a small sound escaping her as she stretches. Her eyes flutter open, and for a second, she looks confused. Then she sees us, and something in her expression softens. "Morning," she murmurs, her voice still thick with sleep.
"Morning," I say, grinning despite everything. "Sleep okay?"
She nods slowly, pushing herself upright. Her hair is an absolute disaster, sticking up in about seven different directions. It’s possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen.
"Yeah," she says. "Really okay."
Lachlan stands, pressing a kiss to the top of my head before heading toward the door.
Then he turns back to Kaia, brushing a strand of her chaotic hair away from her face with a gentle touch, his expression soft.
"Rest if you need to," he says quietly. She nods, and he smiles—that rare, genuine smile that means everything.
"I'll be back in a few," he says. And then he's gone, leaving just me and Kaia.
We head downstairs together, and I try to shake off the lingering anxiety.
Jonas is fine—Adrian's with him. Lachlan said so, and I trust Lachlan. But the bond still feels too quiet.
Kaia opens the fridge like she's lived here her whole life, and something in me just clicks into place—a relief so profound it nearly buckles my knees. She glances back at me with a small smile. "Well...he didn't say I couldn't use the stove."
I grin. "Oh, you are trouble. I love it.”
We start making breakfast sandwiches. She moves easily in the kitchen, not hesitant, not unsure.
Just comfortable, like she belongs here.
Because she does. I watch her crack eggs into a pan, her movements careful and deliberate, and my shoulders drop slightly—tension I didn't know I was holding just melting away. "You're good at this," I say.
She shrugs. "I work in a café, remember?"
"Yeah, but this is different," I say. "This is...I don't know. Homey."
She pauses, her hand hovering over the spatula, and then she looks at me. "It feels homey," she says quietly.
That does something to me. I move closer, bumping her shoulder gently with mine. "Good," I say. "Because it is."
She smiles, and we fall into an easy rhythm.
I toast bread, carefully, because I'm not giving Lachlan more ammunition, and she handles the eggs and cheese.
The kitchen fills with the smell of butter and melting cheese and warmth, and for a few minutes, I almost forget about the anxiety sitting heavy in my stomach. Almost.
Adrian walks in just as we're plating the sandwiches. I don't think—I just go to him. I wrap my arms around my Alpha, pressing my face into his chest, and he hugs me back, pressing me even closer. Grounding. Always grounding.
"Good morning," he murmurs, his voice low and steady.
"Morning," I murmur into his chest.
His hand moves to the back of my neck, squeezing gently, and I feel some of the tension drain out of me. "Jonas okay?" I ask quietly.
"Yeah," Adrian says. "Just sleeping it off."
I nod, but I don't let go yet.
Kaia looks up from the counter. "Hi," she says. "Is he really okay?"
Adrian nods. "Yeah. He's fine. Just needs rest." He looks between us, taking in the breakfast sandwiches, the clean kitchen, the way we're both standing here like we've been doing this for years.
"I was coming down to make breakfast," he adds, glancing at the counter. "But I see I've been replaced."
Kaia smiles. "I know how to make a few things." Then she looks at him, and something dances across her expression, something like confidence. "Do you like cheese on your breakfast sandwich?"
Adrian opens his mouth to respond, probably to say she doesn't have to do this, that he can make his own food, but she cuts him off before he can form the words. "I asked you," she says, mimicking his tone from yesterday so well, it’s almost uncanny. "I want to do this for you."
I freeze and feel Adrian shift against me. I slowly pull back to look at his expression. Oh. Oh, this is happening. Adrian's mouth twitches—actually twitches. He bites his bottom lip, and I can see him fighting a smile. "I do like cheese," he says slowly. "Yes."
She smiles and turns back to the stove, humming softly.
I hear him mutter under his breath, "Goodness fuck, there's two of them now."
I grin and hug him tighter. "You love it."
He doesn't answer. But I feel the way he nods against me.
We eat outside on the back patio. The morning air is cool and rich with salt, the ocean steady and rhythmic in the background. It's quiet. Easy. Comfortable. But there's still that thread in my chest. That tightness.
Adrian leans back slightly, his coffee cup cradled in both hands. "So," he says. "I don't think Jonas will be up for anything crazy today, but us three can go hang out on the boat or beach if you guys want."
Kaia shakes her head. "No. I don't want to do anything without him."
I nod. "Same."
She glances at me, then back at Adrian. "I want to experience things with all of you," she says. "Not just...some of you." There she goes again, easing the strain in my body and pulling at my heart. Adrian studies her for a second, and I can see the way his expression softens.
"I agree," I say. "We can just chill today."
Adrian nods. "I know it's your last day off for a while," he says to Kaia.
She shrugs. "I'm content with anything that makes Jonas feel better. Maybe we can just watch movies?" I smile at her. She's...Yeah.
"I'm not sure when he'll wake up," Adrian says.
"We can wait," I reply without hesitation.
We finish eating and head back inside. Kaia pauses near the kitchen, glancing between us. "Hey, Adrian."
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I can make a sandwich for Lachlan if you want to switch with him."
Adrian nods. "He'd love that." She goes back to the stove, and I hop up onto a stool, just watching her.
Adrian steps in behind me, arms wrapping around my waist, and I lean back into him. "You look happy," he murmurs.
"I am."
He kisses the side of my face, and I turn slightly on the stool, catching his mouth with mine. Soft. Easy. Grounding.
When I pull back, Kaia's watching us with a small smile. "Maybe I should switch with Lachlan?" she asks. I grin. Fuck, I love her. "I just want to check on him," she adds quickly. "I'll be quiet."
Adrian nods. "If you'd like. He's just sleeping."
She nods again. "Please."
"Of course, but leave the sandwich down here," Adrian adds quickly. "I don't want the smell to make Jonas nauseous…" He stops and winces. "Wow. That sounded bad."
Kaia and I both laugh. "I know what you meant," she says. She sets the plate on the counter carefully. "I'll clean up once he's done."
"No way," I say. "You cooked. I'll clean." Then I grin. "Go get Lachlan so he can eat a hot sandwich."
She smiles and heads upstairs.
I look at Adrian. "We're never letting her go."
He nods. "Never."
Lachlan comes down a minute later, looking slightly rumpled but content. "I was just told by an Omega I've known for five days," he says, grabbing his plate, "to come eat my sandwich while it's hot."
I laugh. "Oh, you should have seen her throw Adrian's words right back at him."
Adrian sighs. "Lachlan, buddy, we have two brats now."
Lachlan takes a bite, his eyes closing briefly. "Perfect."
I clean up the kitchen while they eat, and when I turn around, they're both watching me.
"What?" I ask.
Adrian tilts his head. "Who are you," he says slowly, "and what have you done with our Finn?"
I roll my eyes.
Lachlan adds, "Should I call a doctor?"
"Ha ha," I say. "Very funny." I walk over, and Adrian shifts a stool so I can sit between them. Automatically, like always. I lean forward against the counter, wrapping my hands around my own mug. I savor the heat that presses into my palms. "Without specifics," I say carefully. "Is Jonas okay?"
Lachlan nods. "Yeah. He's fine. The meds just knock him out."
I look at Adrian. I need both of them to say it. He nods once. "Yeah. He's okay."
I exhale. Slow. Relief hitting all at once. Okay. Good. He's okay. Adrian's hand moves to my back, rubbing slow circles between my shoulder blades. "You're allowed to worry," he says quietly.
I exhale. But it doesn't help. The relief doesn't come. Instead, something else rises up, something sharp and jagged that I've been trying to dull for years. "I couldn't…" My voice cracks. "I couldn't go up there."
Adrian's hand stills on my back. "Finn…"
"I should have been able to," I say, the words spewing out like poison. "I should have checked on him. But I couldn't. I can't. When he's like that, when he's in pain, I just…"
I press my palms against my eyes. "I can't do it."
Lachlan sets his sandwich down. Turns his stool toward me. "Hey. Look at me."
I drop my hands. My vision is blurry.
"It's my mom," I say quietly. The words feel heavy. Wrong, like I'm breaking something open that I've kept sealed for years. "I was her caretaker—when she was dying."
The room goes completely still.
Adrian's hand stops moving on my back. Lachlan's entire body goes rigid on the stool beside me. I can feel their shock even without looking at them.
"For two years," I continue, because now that I've started, I can't stop. "I watched her suffer. Every single day. The migraines, the pain, the way she'd try to hide it from me even when she couldn't move. And I couldn't fix it. I couldn't make it stop."
My throat closes. I force the words out anyway.
"And now Jonas gets them." My voice breaks. "And I know it's not the same. I know he's not dying. But when I see him like that, all I can see is her. And I can't…" I shake my head. "I can't be there. I can't watch someone I love hurt like that again."
Lachlan's jaw tightens. Adrian's hand has gone completely still against my back.
"And now there's Kaia," I whisper. "What if something happens to her? What if I can't protect her, either? What if I lose…"
"Stop." Adrian's voice is firm but gentle. He turns me toward him, his hands gripping my shoulders. "Finn. Look at me."
I do. His eyes are steady. Grounded.
"You're not going to lose us," he says. "Any of us."
"You don't know that," I say, and my voice sounds small. Broken.
"I do," he says. "Because we've got each other. You're not alone in this. You don't have to carry it by yourself."
Lachlan's hand comes to rest on my shoulder. When I glance at him, his expression is tight. Pained, like he's just realized how much I've been holding back.
"Jonas doesn't blame you," he says quietly. "He knows his pain can come on without warning. He's never expected you to be there every time it happens. None of us do."
"But I should…"
"No," Lachlan interrupts. "You shouldn't. You were trying to protect yourself. And Jonas, too. You knew you'd go in there and start fussing, and then he'd feel like he had to take care of you while he was hurting."
My breath hitches. Because that's exactly it. That's exactly what I was afraid of.
"You're allowed to have limits," Lachlan continues. "You're allowed to protect yourself."
Adrian pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me. "You took care of your mom for two years. You gave everything you had. And now you're here, with us. You don't have to do that alone anymore."
My breath hitches. "I'm scared."
"I know," Adrian says. "But we've got Jonas. We've got Kaia. And we've got you."
Lachlan leans in, pressing a kiss to my temple. "You're not the only one holding this pack together, Finn. We all are."
I close my eyes. Let their presence ground me. Let their words sink in.
"Okay," I whisper.
"Okay," Adrian echoes.
We sit there for a long moment. Quiet. Together.