17. Lucky
Lucky
Lucky sank into the hot water as soon as Antonio left the room.
He slid down the curved edge, taking a deep breath before letting himself slip beneath the bubbles.
Water filled his ears, burning the thinner skin of his face and stinging against his tightly shut eyes.
In his head, he counted the beats of his own heart. He got to forty-six before surfacing.
The first deep breath was sweetest.
Filled with the floral scent of soap and burning with the steam still coming off the water.
He dug his palms into his eyes. There were no tears left to cry, there was no reason to cry.
With every passing second, his to-do list grew.
And yet he could hardly drag himself from bed, let alone buckle down and get to work.
Slumping against the side of the tub, Lucky rested his head on the cold tile wall. Antonio couldn’t have come at a better time. He needed this. As much as he loved Jack he just… He needed a place to hide from the memories.
When he finally stood up, the water had turned tepid and his fingertips were entirely wrinkled.
The bubbles had dissipated but he still rinsed off with the shower head before stepping onto the fluffy bathmat.
He used the towel hanging from the hook, breathing in Antonio’s comforting scent. He felt safe.
There was so much to unpack in that single thought.
Home was safe. His brother and dad were safe. And now, Antonio ranked amongst them. In a short time, this alpha had wormed his way in and left Lucky’s heart fluttering with emotions he didn’t dare name.
The robe was soft. It took the chill from his skin and felt like a hug.
In the mirror, he looked a mess. Errant curls wet and still in need of a truly good scrub, dark circles beneath his eyes, and chapped lips made him look sickly.
He should be embarrassed. He should be… But he wasn’t.
Antonio had picked him up and took him home despite his appearance, despite this emotional lapse that continued to cling like fishing hooks caught on flesh.
Somehow, he pieced himself together. Fingers picked apart wet curls until they looked somewhat managed, he used the same spare toothbrush he’d used the last time he visited to freshen his breath, and he stole Antonio’s deodorant before braving the rest of the house.
Antonio’s bedroom was lit by a lamp with a warm yellow bulb by the bedside, but the other lights were left off. The curtains were pulled back to reveal open balcony doors. He could hear something moving around out there but the alpha was nowhere to be seen.
“Antonio?” He called.
“Hold on, coming!” He heard from above. As he stepped onto the balcony, he was surprised to see Antonio slide down a metal ladder bolted into the wall beside the glass doors. “Was the bath good?” Antonio’s forehead was beaded with sweat.
“Yeah… Thank you, it was really nice. What are you doing?” Lucky cocked his head to the side.
“Ah, well, I thought maybe we could use a little escape.” Antonio ran a hand through his hair. “I had a long week, you’ve got a lot on your mind, I figure… Maybe something quiet, maybe a bit of sitting and just feeling the world around us.”
There was something frantic in Antonio’s words, like he was waiting for Lucky to tell him it was stupid or bad.
“So… what’s up there, then?” Lucky prompted, offering a small smile of encouragement.
“It’s probably easier if you just come up…” Antonio tilted his head, looking Lucky over, “Let me grab you a shirt and some shorts.”
Lucky followed him back inside, accepting a t-shirt that fell to midthigh and a pair of swim trunks.
Everything was loose on him, but it was functional.
The last time he changed in front of Antonio, everything felt charged.
It was flirty, teasing, erotic… Now, there was just a companionable silence as the alpha waited.
“Alright, am I appropriately dressed for your surprise?” Lucky arched a brow.
“Hah, yes… you look perfect.” Antonio smiled. The compliment in the face of how terrible he knew he looked could have been condescending but somehow, it just felt sweet. Like Antonio really didn’t mind that he was a mess. Like the man was just happy to have him there…
“Show me, then.” Lucky motioned back to the balcony.
Antonio motioned for Lucky to go up the ladder, opting to wait at the bottom.
It wasn’t a long ladder. The ten rungs to the top were well maintained and had an anti-slip tape wrapped around them.
Lucky couldn’t help the rush of fondness.
It was warm and made his eyes prickle like he wanted to cry.
Antonio was so… everything he did, even in his own home, showed his care and affection for those in his life.
Considering his job, Antonio was likely confident enough to zip up and down a ladder with ease.
But he still put the tape to make sure no one hurt themselves.
He felt silly for getting emotional over tape, rushing up the remaining rungs to cover up the lapse.
What awaited him erased the embarrassment entirely.
The roof was flat, with half walls that wrapped around it like the top of a castle.
In the center was a lounge created from patio furniture.
Antonio had shoved everything together until it formed a bed.
Blankets, including his blanket, were arranged like a nest. Two bottles of wine with two matching glasses already filled sat on a low table nearby.
“This is…” Words stuck in his throat.
“I thought we could just… relax a bit, if you wanted? Watch the stars, talk, drink the wine and just… exist.” Antonio pulled himself onto the roof. His expression was cautiously hopeful.
“Antonio, this isn’t ‘just’ anything… this is…” When his voice failed, Lucky resorted to throwing himself into the alpha’s arms and hugging him fiercely. “Thank you.”
Antonio pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “De nada…”
There was so much he wanted to say but nothing would come out.
So, he just held on until the storm in his chest calmed.
When he finally let go, Antonio guided him to the bedding.
They took a second to get comfortable, shifting around on the blankets.
Lucky fell back against the pillows and pulled his mother’s knitted blanket over his lap.
“Mm, exactly what I need.” He grinned as Antonio passed him a glass of wine, taking a long sip. It was red and bold and perfect. “Sometimes you just need a strong wine to ease the knot in your chest.”
“You would get along well with my mother.” Antonio snorted, raising his own glass. Lucky curled into the alpha’s side, resting his head on his shoulder. “She loves red wine, especially when she’s in a sour mood.” It was the first time Antonio had really spoken about his family since they met.
“Mom wasn’t big on wine, but dad let me taste it and I took a liking to it.
Well… Dad’ll drink anything, honestly. He’s a casual drinker.
Beers on the boat, rum on weekends, that sort of thing.
” Lucky shrugged, “Jack’s fancy about his drinks.
Martinis and the like. And I do love a fruity thing where I can’t taste the liquor.
But sometimes you just want a nice glass of wine and a quiet evening.
” He melted into Antonio’s side, smiling a little when Antonio pulled him even closer with an arm around his shoulders.
“Maybe I should go drinking with your brother then.” Antonio teased, “Mateo, my best friend, likes to tease me about my expensive habits.”
Lucky could see why. Not that he could judge, their father made good money. But Antonio’s home was a mansion in a wealthy district full of old money families descended from pirate captains.
“I think mom would have liked you.” He whispered, wistful. The fingers of his free hand curled in the familiar blanket as he tipped his head up to look at the swath of stars overhead.
Antonio pressed a kiss to the top of his head again. “Will you tell me more about her, about what happened?” Will he. Not an order, not even a demanding question. Just a gentle coaxing that made him want to spill every aching fear.
“She made this blanket. I don’t know when she finished it…
Dad said it was her pregnancy project. Maybe she finished it before Jackie was born, before she knew there would be two of us.
But when we were little, she’d bundle us in it and tuck us into one bed for stories.
” Lucky poked a finger through one of the holes in the blanket from years of them worrying the threads bare between their fingers.
“We shared a bed, Jack and I, for years. One nest… we still share a room. And mom made sure we never felt different from each other. I have never doubted that I was loved.” Lucky sniffled, “I feel like she loved me so well that a part of me is missing now that she’s gone… I’ve never even told Jack about that.”
Though, knowing his family, Jack and Teague probably already knew.
“You love your mother, it makes sense you would miss her. There is nothing strange about that.” Antonio reassured.
“I know but…” He sighed, “I feel like I failed her. I should have been keeping track of the paperwork. I should have done a five-year check-in. I should have double checked everything was in order when I took over the project.”
Frustration stuck in his throat. It choked him, cloying and sticky until he took several long gulps of wine. Antonio was quick to refill his glass. “You haven’t failed her.”
“You don’t—” Antonio cut him off with a shake of his head.
“You have not failed, Lucky Wilde. This is a setback. One you need some time to recover from, one that hits where you are sensitive, but it is not a failure. What comes next, that is what is important.” Antonio spoke with conviction, with a confidence Lucky longed to believe in.
“If they sell the land…” He was still hesitating, even now.
“We’ll stop them.” It sounded like a done thing when Antonio said it.
“You don’t know that. You can’t possibly know that!” Lucky huffed, “I’m not magic! I can’t just wave my hands and make things fall in my favor.”
“Lucky.” Antonio cupped his cheek, making Lucky look at him. Lucky lost himself for a moment in Antonio’s honey brown eyes.
“…What if I really do fail?” Lucky’s voice shrank to something small, uncertain, fragile.
Antonio was quiet for a moment. Lucky watched as those captivating eyes roamed his face.
“Maybe you will.” Antonio’s voice was soft, “But that’s the thing about doing what we love…
There is always a chance we’ll fail, that something will go wrong, that the things we aspire to will slip through our fingers.
Paradise was built on dreams made of sand. If you fail, you’re in good company.”
Lucky was used to assurances that he wouldn’t fail. And he had heard middling responses from his dad about how losses didn’t define people. This was the first time he was offered a chance to wear the prospect of failure like a badge of honor.
“…Are you comparing me to the pirates that built Paradise?” Lucky snorted, “I’m hardly that strong.”
“I disagree. I think you have the exact same drive and dedication to your goals that they must have had. And for the record, I truly do think you’ll succeed.” Antonio hummed, taking a sip of wine.
“No one was able to stop the Melody Resort from being built.” Lucky pointed out, “My grandpa and dad tried. They protested, they shouted, they threatened and nothing worked.”
“…Melody Resort and Lyrica Beach were the byproduct of a different issue.” Antonio looked away, expression suddenly so melancholy that Lucky almost apologized for bringing up the topic.
“Corruption, right?” Lucky tilted his head. His dad talked about it sometimes, how government corruption almost destroyed the island.
“Yes.” Antonio sighed, “You’ve told me your fears and yet I…”
It was hard to imagine Antonio being afraid of anything.
But when Lucky forced himself to really feel the alpha beside him, the tension was unmistakable.
Stiff shoulders, twitching fingers, furrowed brow.
Antonio looked so utterly uncomfortable that Lucky wanted to kiss away his worries.
“I want to know what’s bothering you, too, Antonio. Please?”