Chapter 7
SEVEN
When I wake up, my throat feels like sandpaper. There’s a slight harshness as I swallow, my eyes shut tight as the sun pouring in from the curtains nearly blinds me.
Fuck, my head.
My hand reaches for the end table, finding an aspirin and a glass of water. I take the pill and then chug the water without a second thought. When I open my eyes, I realize I’m alone, my best friend nowhere to be found.
My hand moves over the empty spot, the sheets still warm under my touch.
His body left an imprint, the perfect outline of his sleeping form, and my omega whines at the idea that it will fade.
His sweet chai scent sticks to every surface, soaking me in its glory, but also reminding me of his departure.
He left.
I can only remember bits and pieces of last night, the heat spike taking over more than I would have liked for our first time together. Still, the memory of his tongue on my center, his fingers stroking me… it’s mesmerizing but also completely embarrassing at the same time.
Before I can get too sad about him leaving me alone in my bed, something loud sounds from the kitchen, the clinking of a plate against the floor too loud for me to ignore.
I haul myself out of bed, panicked. My skin is still too hot, my stomach sore and raw. I don’t have time to deal with a break-in today, or to have a confrontation with a potential robber.
My instincts must be out of whack though, because I find myself grabbing the lamp on my end table, unplugging it and drudging to the door.
This robber chose the wrong omega to fuck with today.
I hold my breath as I tiptoe down the hallway, keeping close to the wall. Deep down, I know that this is a bad idea but I don’t want to cower in my room, not when someone could be stealing my blender. I practically live off that thing.
If they try to take my limited-edition Nightmare Before Christmas plate set, I’m going lose it.
My skin starts to prickle with sweat, and my veins thrum with adrenaline. My heart beats rapidly as I edge closer to the kitchen doorway, listening as the assailant moves around noisily. Pots and pans clink together just before I hear something hit the floor and shatter.
I wince. He isn’t a very good robber, apparently.
When I look around the corner, I’m prepared to use the lamp with all my might, expecting to see a faceless man wearing a ski mask, but all I see is… blond hair?
Casey looks up at me from the floor, one of my teacups shattered at his feet. When he sees the lamp in my grip, his brows raise.
“Uh, do I need to put my hands up in surrender?”
I let out a sigh of relief, my heart still beating wildly in my chest. “Casey! Fuck, I thought you went home.”
He chortles. Fucking chortles.
“Looks like someone has heat brain,” he jokes, looking between me and the lamp with an amused grin. “Why would you think I left?”
I flatten my lips, embarrassed by the insecurities that flashed in my gut. How I thought he would be disgusted by having to help me, turned off by what we did. How I figured that he would want to erase it from his memory and never speak of it again.
I don’t say a word, but I guess he can read me like an open book because he softens. He steps forward, his face turning somber. “I would never leave you when you need me, El. And as for last night… I had an amazing time. At the party and after.”
My stomach soars, butterflies fluttering on forbidden wings. I put a hand there and try to keep the emotion inside. “You promise?”
He nods, the cheeky grin twitching at the corner of his lips. “Promise, Elkie.”
I huff, annoyed by the nickname again, before I look around the kitchen. “What are you doing, then?”
“Attempting to make you breakfast,” he mutters, looking at the stove like its his enemy. A pan sits on top, pancakes poking out their little burnt faces at me. “I tried to make those fluffy pancakes you like, but it turns out I’m quite shit at it.”
I look past him; the counter is a mess. The pans are scattered along the counter with different attempts of burned pancake mixture and there’s a carton of broken egg shells off to the side, but through it all, I spot a bag of chocolate chips already open, like he was eating them while cooking.
“You just wanted to eat up all of my sweets,” I accuse.
He scoffs. “No I didn’t.”
I stifle a laugh. Casey has the biggest sweet tooth I’ve ever seen. He always goes for the chocolate option over everything else. It’s a wonder he doesn’t have a mouth full of cavities.
“I bet you ate all of your stash last week and have been fiending for more.”
He puts a hand to his chest. “W-w-what?” he says, exasperated. “Okay… I admit, I am freshly out of chocolate, but I was going to go to the trunk-or-treat event on campus on Halloween to re-up.”
My smile falls as my heart twinges at the realization. It’s a tradition on campus, and now I’ll be here, withering in pain instead. “I won’t be able to go now.”
We fall silent, the reality of what’s happening falling between us. “I’ll get you some,” he tells me. “We can eat our hearts out with sugar after your heat. You’ll probably want a plethora of chocolate after a week of forced sandwiches anyway.”
I give him a weak smile, nodding. There’s just one problem with that plan: it reinforces the fact that he won’t be here, won’t be where I desperately want him most.
“So,” he says, breaking the tension. “I made you some tea instead while I figure something else out.”
I look back at the shattered cup on the floor. “Tea but no teacup.”
His cheeks flush. “I’ll clean it up and bring you another one in a moment.”
I nod, letting him get back to it. If I’m completely honest, he could serve me anything and my omega would want to burst from my chest. I have no sense of self-preservation.
If he made me something, I would eat it, no matter what it was.
The simple thought of him trying to take care of me, giving me what I need, causes all logic to go right out the window.
I collapse onto the couch, the silk of my costume sliding against my bare backside.
My cheeks flush, realizing the state I’m in, but then I peer back over, watching Casey clean up the broken porcelain, his costume still in place minus the leather shoulder harness and fake dagger.
The green shirt is pulled tight over his muscles, and the pants hug his thighs in a way that makes me squirm.
He looks up so I jump backward, averting my gaze. God, I am a wreck when I’m close to heat, apparently. He just caught me ogling him in my kitchen.
“I saw you had chai in the cabinet,” Casey comments as he hands me the cup, steam pouring out of it. “I didn’t know you drank chai.”
My cheeks redden. “It’s my favorite.”
It’s silent as we sip our tea. I love quiet moments with Casey; they’re usually comfortable, calm, but this time my heart is racing, and the sweat collects in my pores. I am too nervous, too antsy, and I wonder if he can tell it’s because of last night.
After a few moments, my best friend sets down his cup and turns his body toward me. “I think we should talk about last night.”
My body stills. “We don’t have to.”
“Yes, we do.”
I set down my own teacup, steeling my spine before facing him. “Thank you… for helping me. It really eased some of my discomfort. I never knew it would feel like that… I knew it was supposed to be weird, but not…”
“All-consuming?” he guesses.
I nod. “Exactly. You really came through for me last night. I’m glad I have you in my life.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I wish I could continue to help you, El. If I could, if I were capable…” He pauses, looking to the floor as he shakes his head. “But I’m not an alpha. I can’t give you what you need for an entire week.”
“I know but… maybe I’ll be okay. Maybe I can get a toy? Do those knot-toys help?”
Casey shakes his head. “They’re not really satisfying. It’s like your biology knows it’s not real…”
I bite my lip, thinking. “Maybe I can just meet one alpha, then?”
“As someone who has been through a heat, multiple times… you’ll need alphas. More than one. It gets intense, and there’s not a lot of time for one alpha to recuperate. Much less one omega that doesn’t even have the right equipment…”
His jaw tenses, like he’s angry that he doesn’t have a knot, that he can’t help me. My stomach hurts seeing his frustration, like I want to reach out and comfort him.
I scoot closer, my knee now touching his. I go to put my hand on his thigh, but he speaks before I can.
“I think you should sign up for Heat Seekers.”
The sentence stops me in my tracks. “What?”
“It’s the only way you’re going to find alphas in time. And at least with Heat Seekers, you’ll be able to have some sort of control. You get to accept or deny potential packs; you get to decide. I think this is the best direction to go in.”
The thought of using that app makes my stomach twist into knots, but I can’t deny that I’m running out of time. If I had my way, Casey would be able to help me, just him and I against the world just like we’ve always been, but that’s not realistic.
It’s the whole reason why I threw away the idea of us ever being together. Two omegas, no alphas… it’s not something we can sustain long-term, and now I’m being forced to accept that fact.
Realizing it, accepting it… it still doesn’t make it hurt any less, though.
“Okay,” I agree reluctantly. “I’ll make a profile later today.”
Casey’s face doesn’t lighten though; there’s a sadness there that matches mine, like we’re both finally accepting this reality that the universe has decided for us.
“Good,” he says, nodding his head, although he can’t meet my eyes. “I’m glad. I… I just want you to have what you need.”
My heart pangs, because it’s not true. He is the only thing I have ever needed, but for this I need more, and that’s a hard pill for me to swallow.
Casey ends up ordering breakfast. There’s way too much of it, enough to feed both of us for several days, but it’s amazing as we try a variety of different pancakes and bagel sandwiches.