Chapter 29 #2
Jamie nodded, taking a steadying breath before leaning back in. Erin’s hand stayed where it was, anchoring them both, as the room filled with the sound of their uneven breathing and the quiet rhythm of trust taking shape between them.
Erin hadn’t expected to feel so much. She’d always liked control, liked giving, guiding, keeping her reactions tucked neatly out of sight. But Jamie’s focus, her care, stripped that distance away one breath at a time.
The pressure built slowly, not sharp or overwhelming, but enough to steal her composure. She reached down, threading her fingers through Jamie’s hair, not to guide her but to keep herself grounded.
“Jamie,” she murmured, a warning and a plea all at once.
Jamie hummed in response, her movements surer now, finding a rhythm that made Erin’s breath catch.
The sound that followed was quiet but unguarded, pulled from somewhere deep within her.
She let herself feel it, just this once.
When the tension finally eased, she stayed still, her hand still resting against Jamie’s head, chest rising and falling unevenly.
Jamie looked up at her, a quiet question in her eyes, and Erin smiled softly. “Come here,” she said, voice low and rough.
Jamie climbed back up beside her, confidence still flickering beneath the tenderness in her touch. Erin drew her in close, pressing a kiss to her temple. For a long while, neither of them spoke.
Erin stared at the ceiling, her heartbeat still settling. Letting go was not something she did, not with anyone. But lying there with Jamie curled against her, she knew she wouldn’t regret it.
* * *
Erin woke to the faint hum of traffic outside and the soft rhythm of Jamie’s breathing beside her. For a moment, she couldn’t place herself. The warmth pressed against her side was unfamiliar, disorienting, and sent her pulse racing.
Her body moved before her mind could catch up. She slipped out of bed carefully, one hand steadying the mattress so it wouldn’t shift. The air was cool against her skin, her pulse loud in her ears.
Leo lifted his head from his bed near the window, ears twitching at her movement. Erin gave a quiet click of her tongue in greeting. “Go back to sleep,” she whispered, but his nails clicked softly on the hardwood as he followed her to the bathroom anyway.
The light was dim and yellow against the tile. She shut the door halfway and leaned both hands on the sink, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her pupils were wide, her skin pale, breath uneven.
It hit her all at once. The memory. The closeness. The sound of Jamie’s voice murmuring her name, the weight of her hands, the way she had looked at her like she meant it.
Erin closed her eyes, pressing her palms against the counter until her knuckles went white.
She had never been good at this part, the quiet after.
When everything slowed down and the walls she built started to tilt.
She had spent years keeping herself on the giving side of things, never letting anyone close enough to see her falter. It had always been safer that way.
But this wasn’t safe, not anymore.
Her breathing came too fast, too shallow. She turned on the faucet and let cold water run over her hands before splashing it onto her face. The chill helped, grounding her for a moment, but it didn’t quiet the shaking in her chest.
Behind her, Leo nosed the bathroom door open with a soft whine.
Erin looked down to see his head tilt, eyes glinting in the half-light.
“I’m fine,” she whispered. Her voice was rough, almost convincing.
She scratched behind his ear until his tail gave one lazy wag before he turned back toward the bedroom.
When she finally followed, she saw the faint outline of Jamie on the bed. Moonlight caught in her hair, spreading across the pillow. One arm was stretched toward the empty space Erin had left behind.
Something inside Erin cracked open at the sight.
Jamie was here because she wanted to be. Not because she needed anything from her. Not because she was trying to prove something. Just because she wanted her.
Erin stood in the doorway for a long time, feeling the last of the panic drain out of her. The fear didn’t disappear completely, but it softened enough to breathe through.
She crossed the room and eased under the covers. Leo had already curled up at the foot of the bed, his steady breathing filling the quiet. The mattress dipped as Jamie stirred. Her arm moved instinctively, wrapping around Erin’s middle, fingertips brushing her skin.
“You okay?” Jamie murmured, her voice thick with sleep.
“Yeah,” Erin whispered. “Go back to sleep.”
Jamie hummed, pressing her face into Erin’s shoulder, already slipping under again.
Erin stayed still for a long moment, letting her breathing fall into rhythm with Jamie’s. The fear that had gripped her minutes earlier eased into something softer, something she wasn’t used to letting herself feel.
She rested her hand lightly over Jamie’s where it circled her waist. Jamie’s fingers curled in response, a small, unconscious answer that loosened the last knot in Erin’s chest.
She lay there in the quiet, staring into the dim room, letting the warmth at her back hold her steady.
For the first time in a long while, Erin let herself stay.