11. CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Wes
Rory
You’ve been gone a whole month… Do you even look the same?
I require photographic evidence.
Okay, fine, I’ll accept FaceTime. I need proof of life.
Me
Did we or did we not talk last week? I’ll send you an email when I get back to the office… but it may not be the kind of photographic evidence you want. Just try not to freak out, ok?
Rory
WES??????
I laugh as I slip my phone back into my pocket. Rory is going to absolutely lose her shit when she sees the video from this morning’s flight—seeing as I wasn’t the one flying but the one jumping. Today was my first tandem skydive with Orion, Breck’s top jump instructor, and it was exhilarating. I may not be a fighter pilot anymore, but I’m still an adrenaline junkie, and it was such a rush to take that plunge. The initial burst of nerves followed by the feeling of absolute freedom as we flew through the sky was indescribable.
I was anxious about it initially, worried it might cause flashbacks to the crash, but I was surprised to find it almost cathartic. To fall from that plane and land safely, it’s like it rewrote whole pathways in my brain, mending some of the unresolved pain from that day. It also helped that Orion was the one landing us, so I was able to keep my legs up and my knee protected.
Today’s jump was a celebration of sorts. Now that I’ve completed the requisite number of flights as a co-pilot, I can finally fly solo next week. I haven’t felt this at ease in my career in a long time. Flying for the Navy was thrilling, but there was always a ton of pressure: another qualification to get, another flight to lead, someone to mentor… It was rare that I got to fly for the fun of flying, and clearly I was missing out. The energy emanating off people who want to jump out of airplanes for a thrill is off the charts, contagious even.
I’m still vibrating with adrenaline when I pull up to the office. Jumping out of my company truck, I break into a jog, ready to upload the footage from the camera Orion attached to my helmet. I feed the SD card into my laptop and attach the files to an email, trying not to imagine what Rory’s face will look like when she sees them. We’ve been struggling to connect since I’ve been here. The nineteen-hour time difference is really cramping our usual style of constant texting and GIF sending.
We’ve had to revert back to the way we communicated when I was deployed—using email more than anything—so we don’t wake each other up. We have fit in the occasional video call though, and seeing my little sister’s face feels both like a blessing and a curse. Having my favorite person behind a screen does the job of reminding me how far away she is.
There’s no going back now as I hit send on the email. Maybe I should have waited until this evening when she’d definitely be asleep and less likely to ream me out. Oh well, it was worth it.
I send a second email to myself so I’ll have the files on my phone. Quickly pulling up the most ridiculous of the pictures, one where my face looks distorted because of the wind and ground rush, I text it to Joss.
Since that first morning, I haven’t missed a single dawn patrol, and unless she’s away for work, Joss is right there beside me. Breck joins in when he can, but I go by myself if I have to. The routine of that early surf session before heading to work has made the transition to my new life here feel easy, effortless.
Joss has been working for the last few days, and I can’t deny how much I’ve missed the beautiful smile that lights her face when she’s paddling back out after getting a wave or sitting next to me waiting for her next one. Head tipped back, those first glimmers of sunlight dancing off the water droplets on her face as she breathes in the cold morning air.
I’m brought back to reality by the vibration of my phone in my pocket. It’s become something of a habit for us to exchange texts about our adventures, or just send each other stupid jokes or memes. Anything to try to make the other person laugh. I feel a rush of anticipation when I see the banner and my nickname for her on the screen.
Grey
Don’t tell me you jumped out of a perfectly good airplane?
Me
Ok… I won’t tell you
Grey
How was it?
Me
Incredible, I think you should try it with me sometime
Grey
I think I spend enough time in airplanes
Me
Ahh, come on, I’ll hold your hand ; )
I usually keep my flirting to a minimum with her—boundaries and what have you—but I’ll stoop to sprinkling in a little extra charm to convince her to go skydiving. She may not be addicted to adrenaline the same way that I am, but I’ve learned over the last month that she loves to try new things.
Grey
Don’t hold your breath :-P
Me
You wound me.
“What has you smiling?” Breck’s voice meets my ears as he sticks his head around the cubicle wall.
“Joss.” I wave my phone at him.
The knowing smile on his face tells me exactly what he thinks about mine and Joss’s friendship, but I don’t rise to the bait. We go back and forth about this every couple days as it is.
“How was the jump? Amazing, right?” I can hear the earnestness in his voice, but it’s laced with apprehension.
Breck has been great about respecting my boundaries around discussing the crash, and I know he doesn’t want the job to set me back for any reason. He had reservations about how comfortable I would be with flying when I got here, so I think he’s relieved to see that I’ve taken to it easily. Had it gone a different way, he would have found something else for me to do—on the ground.
“Absolutely. I’m trying to convince Joss to go with me next time.” As soon as I say it, I wince and brace myself for his comments. Breck smirks, eyebrows raised. It’s a look that says he’s in on some joke that I’m missing the punchline to. “It’s not like that. Come on, Breck, you’ve seen us together. We’re just friends. ”
“I know, I know. You just spend a lot of time together for two people who are just friends .” He raises his hands, but that damn smirk stays firmly in place.
“We’re also neighbors, which makes spending time together that much easier.”
“True, I guess. She’ll be home tonight, yeah? Back at it tomorrow?” Breck’s voice ticks up, enthusiasm over the promise of surfing clear on his face.
“I’m down, but whether she comes with will depend on how tired she is. This was a long trip for her.” I hope that she’ll want to go. That picture of her pops back up inside my mind and—no. I mentally shake myself, focusing my attention on Breck. “You going to be able to take off early today?”
He looks back toward his office and the papers strewn over his desk. The excitement from a moment ago is immediately replaced with something strained. He’s tired. I know he loves this business, that it allows him to pursue his passion, but it can be draining.
“Soon. I’m going home soon, regardless of whether I’m done with all that.” He rubs the back of his neck and sighs before walking away.
I feel a twinge of guilt as I slowly pack up my stuff and prepare to head home, knowing he’ll be here for a few more hours. In the last month, I think I’ve seen him leave before five o’clock less times than I can count on one hand. But with all my paperwork done and no flights until next week, there isn’t much else I can do around here today.
Joss is on her final flight and will be back early this evening, so we’re planning to grab dinner with Jaz. Aside from my coffee runs, I haven’t spent much time with her, and Joss seems excited for me to get to know her best friend. At this point, any friend of Joss’s is a friend of mine. Though, Jaz seems to be the only friend Joss ever mentions, and I often wonder why that is. The girl is magnetic.
I walk by Breck’s office on my way out and see him hunched over his desk. “See you later, buddy.”
“Enjoy your night with your ‘friend,’” he says, using finger quotes on friend , which earns him an eye roll to go with my wave.
Aside from his jabs, I’m finding that working with my best friend is the most rewarding part of the job. The dynamic in the office between Breck, Talia, and Drew—their business partner—is still something I can’t quite get a read on though. The carefree Talia I remember from college is different to the one crunching numbers as the head of the finance department. She seems detached somehow, aloof. More concerning though is Drew. Since he’s part of their inner circle, I’d assumed he and I would hit it off. Instead, he feels like a walking red flag. He’s overly nice to my face, but I get the vibe he doesn’t appreciate Breck bringing in one of his “mates” for a position that would normally be up to him to fill.
Where Breck is the brawn of this operation, creating and organizing each excursion, I guess you could say Drew is the brains. He and Talia run the behind-the-scenes stuff, but they’re all equal partners. And from everything I’ve seen, Drew is as type-A as they come, meaning that my being here has thrown him off-balance.
I pass by Drew’s office on my way out and hear his and Talia’s voices through his closed door. This is what I mean—why isn’t Breck in on whatever meeting they’re having? Seeing as everyone else has left for the weekend, I consider stopping and, I don’t know… poking my head in? But that seems ridiculous no matter how much I dislike the guy, so I hike my bag up my shoulder and carry on.
While I wait for Joss to make it home, I grab a beer from the fridge and head out to the balcony. I walk past my bookshelves, giving them an apologetic look as I pick up my Kindle from the ottoman. They look less barren now than when I first moved in, and I’ve always loved the feel of a physical book in my hands, but the Kindle is just so damn convenient. I settle into the chair and prop my feet on the railing, taking a minute to appreciate the city skyline.
I’m just about to pick up where I left off with my latest thriller when my phone chimes with an incoming call. Nervous energy floods my system when I see that it’s a FaceTime from Rory. I always love seeing her, but how mad is she going to be? I drop my head back and take a deep breath before swiping to answer her call.
When her face fills the screen, I’m prepared for the worst. But I’m met by her soft laugh and a small smile playing around her lips. Huh, that’s not what I expected.
“You look scared, Wessy. Worried your little sister is going to scold you?” She chuckles, and I instantly relax.
“You’re not mad?”
“Oh, I’m plenty mad. Unfortunately, you’re a grown-ass man and I can’t really tell you what to do. Plus, you’re in one piece, so…” She shrugs like this answers everything.
“It was incredible, Roars, seriously. I was nervous, but… I don’t know. It was good too.”
“No panic attack?” Her question is soft, genuine. She’d never make light of the fact that she’s seen me in the throes of a flashback.
“No, none. It felt liberating, like some of that baggage fell out of the plane with me and was lost to the wind.” I scrub a hand over my face. That probably sounded stupid, but I feel lighter after today’s jump.
When I bring my gaze back to hers, there’s hope in her eyes, like maybe she’s finally realizing this move was what I needed.
“That’s really great.” She drops her eyes, like she’s thinking over what to say next, and then brings them back to mine. “You’re doing okay then?”
She and Breck are the two people who fully understand what I’m dealing with. What I left behind. Why I left.
“Yeah. Coming here was a good call. It was what I needed. I think… I think this is where I’m meant to be right now.”
She nods, but her face is sad. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” I hate knowing I put that look there, that I’ve put it there too many times. “Maybe you need to come visit. I think you’d love it here. Breck and I can show you around.”
Her laugh is light and her eyes say yes, but her words don’t match them.
“Maybe. You know I’d love to. Life just feels extra busy right now.”
“Yeah. Of course. But, you know, you’re allowed to take time off. That’s what vacation days are for.”
Her eyes flare slightly at the words, almost like I’ve hit a nerve .
“Have you seen Mom and Dad lately?” I change the subject, and the question earns me an eye roll. I laugh, reminded of a younger Rory, one that had sass for days.
“Oh, they’re Mom and Dad. I see them once a week for dinner because we’re family …” She adds air quotes and lowers her voice to mimic our dad. “Never mind the fact that they’ve been divorced for twelve years. I’m still required to sit in awkward silence with them both until they ask me once again about my love life, when I’ll be bringing Jamie around, how Jamie is doing.” She shrugs dramatically. “Or they ask about work, but only to insinuate that I could do so much more if I just put my journalism degree to work. My love life or work, those are our two topics of conversation. They’re exhausting.”
“I’m sorry, Rory.” There’s not much else I can say. I haven’t lived under their thumb for sixteen years, and I was glad to escape it when I did. Rory has always been there, close enough for them to try to control or manipulate. I’ve often wondered why she didn’t leave like I did. “At the risk of sounding like Mom and Dad, how is Jamie?”
Jamie is Rory’s best friend. They’ve been inseparable for years. Much like our parents, I keep waiting for the day she tells me they’re together, but she swears it’s only friendship between them, that she’s never wanted him like that. I think back to Breck commenting on my friendship with Joss. Oh the irony.
“He’s great. He’s on his way over here to watch a movie actually, so I should probably go. I just wanted to call and yell at you for jumping out of a plane.”
“You didn’t yell at me. ”
“Yeah, your scared puppy face when you answered took the edge off. Plus, I’d rather just tell you that I think you’re brave and that I love you. I’m here if you need me, okay?”
“Thanks, Roars. Have a good night. Tell Jamie hello from me.”
She waves a hand at the screen. “Night, Wessy.”
I want to roll my eyes at her nickname for me, but it’s what she’s called me since she was little, and I’d let her call me just about anything. I wish I could’ve brought her here with me; she could use an adventure. As far as I know, Tahoe is what she wants. Her whole life is there, but if she ever wanted something different, I would move heaven and earth to help her, just like she’s done for me.