Chapter 30
SAGE
Iwake to the sound of rain, tinkling against the windows like a melody I can’t quite catch.
At first, I think I’m at home tucked up in bed, maybe with some soup left out for me by Claire, the housekeeper. My mother’s downstairs on one of her rare visits. My father’s in his study. And outside, a storm is subsiding…
It’s one of those days where the tree outside my bedroom window rustles in the wind, sounding as though it’s shushing me to sleep, and the fireplace crackles loudly, whispering at me that everything is going to be alright. But when I drag open my eyes, I’m not at home.
And I’m not in my bed.
I’m in Troy Severin’s sitting room, or rather, on the floor of it. I’m lying on his fur rug beneath a thick, cosy wool blanket, and someone, who I can’t see, is holding me. Their arms are enveloping me from behind, their body pressed close, all heat and solid weight.
But I’m too exhausted to care who it is. Everything is warm. Almost too warm, I’m bundled so tight. Slowly, though, the evening returns to me. Not all at once, but in flickers, bit by bit. One broken memory after another, until the haze begins to clear and everything clicks into place.
The dead body in the freezer.
Troy chasing me up the tower.
Then he tried to kill me.
At that, my breathing hitches ever so slightly, but I stay stock still as the memories come flooding back.
I remember sinking. And Troy crashing into the lake, diving down with me, though I’d started to flail uselessly, my limbs heavy with panic.
I thought I was going to die. But he gathered me in his strong arms and dragged me up, back to the surface.
And now, wrapped in his blanket, with his fire warming my skin, I feel…
content. Like I can finally close my eyes and rest.
The thought should scare me more than the lake did. I should be hysterical. I should be running away screaming. But my body has gone soft and pliant, like I’m still dreaming.
Maybe I am.
Inside the fire is lit, its glow warming the room, chasing away the horrors of the night. But outside, it’s still dark, the rain beats the windows, making me want to curl up into a ball when I recall just how cold it was at the top of the tower, and then in the lake.
But not in Troy’s arms.
I’m scorching in his embrace.
It’s then that I notice underwear, my underwear, drying in front of the fire.
Wait. Does that mean I’m not wearing anything?
My nerves shake as I check beneath the covers, relief quickly washing over me to find that I’m wearing a shirt, one that’s soft and oversized. His shirt? Oh, God, I don’t even want to think about it. A second or two later, it gets even worse…
Troy undressed me.
Visions of his hands on my skin, peeling away wet lace, seeing everything, flash through my mind. How long was I unconscious? Did I put the shirt on myself? What did he help me with? All I know is that I’m so very naked beneath the shirt.
And in some dark recesses of my mind, I know who is spooning me.
I can feel every point where we’re touching: his chest against my back, his groin digging at my buttcheeks, his arm heavy around my waist, the steady rhythm of his breathing that somehow matches mine.
His hand is tight, tucked against my hip, keeping me close, like it’s where I belong.
I shouldn’t want to stay like this.
But I do.
At that, my entire body burns hot, and my skin feels like it’s on fire.
I can’t stay like this.
How can I feel this safe with someone who tossed me in a lake to die?
I need to extract myself and run, but I don’t want to wake him up, and I certainly don’t want him to know I’m awake.
Forcing my breathing to slow, I ease out of his grip, but the moment I shift, his fingers tighten under the blanket, stopping me like I’m not supposed to move.
“Where do you think you’re going?” His voice is whiskey smooth, his breath warm against the base of my neck. With him around me like some dark, possessive shadow, my body betrays me, relaxing into his hold even as my mind screams danger.
A dull, sweet ache flutters at the apex my thighs, making me want to press myself closer.
No, no, no.
“I-I need to go…”
“I just saved your life. You need to rest.”
“Please. I have to get up.”
“Not on my watch. You nearly drowned.”
Annoyance whips through me, cutting through the confusing warmth. “But you were the one who threw us into the lake.”
“I did.”
In the casual way he admits it, something twisted in my chest responds to his honesty.
At least he’s not lying. But I’m still upset.
I wrangle my way out of his iron grip and try to sit up to get away from him, but his arm locks tight.
Struggling to get free, we roll, and somehow he ends up on top of me, securing my hands on either side of my head.
He stares down, his eyes never leaving mine. “Stop, just let me explain.”
“You tried to kill me.”
His eyes blaze. “I didn’t mean to—”
“You threw us off the tower!”
“Because you didn’t believe me.”
“You let go of me in the water!”
“You were heavy and kicking me. And no one forced you to go into the tower in the first place.”
“You chased me!”
He exhales. “Because you made me angry. You drugged me.”
“So you tried to kill us?” In the back of my head, I sound a little frantic.
“Is that what you think I was doing? I was proving a point, and then I was dragging your ass out of the water, giving you the kiss of life.” The furrow on his brow is back with a vengeance.
I glare back. For once, I’m fed up with his bullying. “Is that why your tongue was in my mouth?”
The muscle in his jaw ticks. “Don’t be so dramatic.”
I don’t know why I’m so fixated on the kissing now, instead of the killing, but I carry on. “I’m not, you say you won’t touch me, and yet you keep on kissing me.”
“Because it’s the only way to shut you up.”
His words hit harder than a sixty-foot drop into ice-cold water did. Why does he keep doing that, treating me like I’m nothing but an inconvenience—a problem to be managed?
My chest coils tight, and he sees it on my face because his grip loosens, just enough, and I wrench free to stagger away from him, toward the fire, needing the distance, and the heat to scare away the sudden chill in my bones.
His eyes track to the fire poker before I even realize I’m reaching for it. Of course, he notices…the man notices everything.
I seize the iron poker and brandish it like a weapon, but he doesn’t bat an eyelid, not even when I poke the pointed end to his chest.
“So you’re planning to dent my skull with that, are we?” His tone is almost amused, and his expression is curious, like he’s watching a kitten bare its claws for the first time. The condescension makes my jaw ache.
“No.”
He snorts. “You’re a terrible liar, Sage Lovett.”
“I want to go home.” Even though my body wants to stay. Despite everything, even though I promised Nell would avenge her, despite knowing what he’s capable of…
I’m done here.
I don’t like who I am around him; emotional, falling apart, desperately wanting him even though he’s a monster, confused why some traitorous part of me feels safer in his arms than I have in months, even when he’s throwing me off towers. Maybe I am delusional, like everyone says I am.
He snorts and shakes his head. “Now you want to leave.”
“Oh, of course, I do. You just tried to kill me.”
His mouth curls, but his eyes aren’t amused. “Take a swipe at me, I won’t stop you.”
“What?”
“I deserve it.” He steps closer. “I’ve done a lot of terrible things, Sage.”
“Stop.”
He steps forward again, flat out ignoring me and the poker digging in his chest. “You should kill me. Isn’t that why your father gave you the poison?”
“No. He wouldn’t….”
But he would. That fact aside, I can’t tell Troy about Laine and Nola.
I shake my head, my words dying on my lips as I half step back.
There’s nowhere to go. Though the blazing fire behind me is nothing compared to the inferno of his gaze following my every movement. “The poison is mine. You killed Nell.”
“We’re still on that?” He sighs, pushing on the point of the poker iron. “Of all the sick and twisted things I’ve done.” He lets out another breath, his green orbs reflecting the flames. “I. Didn’t. Hurt. Your. Sister. How many more damn towers do I need to jump off?”
“We only survived because you swam us to shore.”
“Because for some reason, you can’t swim, even though your sister could. She was a strong swimmer for Christ’s sake.”
“How…How do you know that?”
His eyes narrow, and he sighs. “Because Nell was someone I admired.”
Neither of us moves, not until the fire crackles and a hot ember jumps out and singes my bare skin, and I flinch.
Troy moves fast, ripping the poker from my hands, pulling me towards him. For a second, I’m slammed against his solid form, looking up at him, staring into his vivid eyes, and getting so lost in them that I hesitate.
There are flecks of gold in the green, and his tousled hair hangs over them, making him look incredibly sexy. His heartbeat is against my chest, and he smells of a storm, as though he’d brought it inside with him. I remember how his arms felt around me in the water, pulling me to safety.
And I sigh.
He glares at me, but then softens.
Then his gaze drops to my mouth.
And….he leans in.
And I let him kiss me again.
I planned not to let him, but it just happens. His lips brush mine, and my tongue darts out to taste him. He groans at that and nips at my lower lip, making me moan. That’s all it takes.
One little lick and a sex noise from me.
Then his mouth is on mine, soft this time, tentative, almost sweet. I should push him away. I should be mortified. When he kissed me before, he said it was to shut me up. Is that what he’s doing now?