Chapter 38
SAGE
“We’re landing,” the pilot announces.
I look down through tear-blurred vision. Laine’s house looks like a snow globe from here, all glass and metal. I want to pick it up and shake it, much like I want to shake myself awake from this nightmare.
At least this is far away from Grayfleet and Troy and the version of reality I don’t want to look at right now.
The helicopter touches down. As soon as I’m able, I almost stumble out, still holding onto both halves of the letter, my vision distorted by tears.
Laine is running across the common, a host of emotions flitting over her face that tells me she wasn’t expecting me to be so distraught, but also that she’s relieved to see I’ve actually turned up.
“Sage! Shit, did something happen? Did he show himself?”
I nod and collapse into her arms, and that’s when the sobs finally come, great heaving gasps that wrack my whole body.
I can barely speak. “I need you to tell me I’m not crazy.”
“You’re not crazy.” Her arms are tight around me.
“Whatever he said, whatever that bastard did, you’re not crazy.”
“But I’m going mad, Laine.” The words tear out of me, and I shove the letter at her. “Read it, please. Tell me I’m seeing things. Tell me this isn’t me.”
She takes it with one hand, still holding me with the other. Her eyes scan the words. Her brow deepens, but she doesn’t react the way I hoped. I thought she’d rip it up, say it was ludicrous. But she doesn’t.
Sage...” Her voice is soothing, calm, a voice of reason. “Let’s get you inside. I’ll put the kettle on.”
I’m shaking so hard my teeth chatter. “It’s mine. The letter is mine. Which means Nell isn’t dead.“ I can’t say the rest of it.
“Oh, Sage.” She pulls me into a hug, the one I needed but didn’t know to ask for, then walks me towards her door. “Jaxon, get her bags.”
I’ve only ever seen Jaxon from afar, and honestly, I don’t really see him now. He’s tall, that’s all I could tell you, and then he’s striding past us, towards the helicopter, jumping to do whatever Laine asks of him.
“Come inside. Let’s figure this out together.”
But there’s nothing to figure out.
The truth is right there in black and white, in handwriting I can’t deny, and penned in citrus ink like the invisible letters I would hide in books when I was a kid.
I’m not Sage mourning her sister. I’m Sage, who pretended to be Nell, and then forgot she wasn’t real.
And Troy knew.
He’s read this letter, so he knows who I really am. And yet, he sent me away anyway, because even knowing the truth, knowing I was Nell once…
I’m still not enough.