Chapter Twenty-Eight #3
And so they stayed there, for too long, each passing moment spiking the hot prickle of anxiety in Kai’s blood and leeching into their kiss until it became as bitter and sharp as it was desperate and sweet.
All the makings of an encounter that could quickly grow out of hand under different circumstances, if they had time.
If their lives and so many others were not at stake.
As it was, they simply clung to one another as hard as they could, held on for as long as they dared.
And when the pattern of Adeline’s breath sent her chest stuttering against his own, he knew it was not the overwhelm of desire but of pain, sorrow racking her whole body and his.
He pulled back and kissed away her tears.
“Go now,” he said gently.
She nodded, her nose brushing over his, her tears cooling on his cheeks. Adeline pressed her lips to his in one parting kiss, hard and swift, before a hiss from the doorway had her jolting back.
“Are you insane?”
Adeline’s gaze snapped around, and beyond her shocked face, Kai found Gerard leaning over the threshold, both hands braced on the frame and wearing a thunderous expression Kai had not known he possessed. The gard threw a sharp glance into the hallway, then stormed into the room.
“I brought you here,” he whispered furiously, “risked your safety and Jack’s so you could talk, for fuck sake.”
“We were talking,” Adeline said stiffly.
But they hadn’t been; they had been indulging, for too long, in a goodbye that neither of them wanted.
Kai’s stomach sank and swirled, guilt and shame building a hot weight in his gut.
He wished she would get up, even though his hands did not seem capable of releasing the knot he’d made in her woollen dress.
“Certainly looks like it,” Gerard scoffed, with a broad gesture at where they sat on the bed, Adeline straddling Kai’s lap. His eyes flashed to Kai then, sharp with accusation. “You know better,” was all he said.
He was right. Kai knew what would happen if anyone had found them, and still he’d let his relief cloud his judgment. He’d put Adeline in danger with every moment he’d spent holding her to reassure himself she was really here, safe and untouched.
“He’s been trying to get me to leave since I got here,” Adeline snapped.
The waver in her voice wove around that guilt still curdling in his stomach, and Adhlas, it was a thousand times worse.
“As he bloody should,” Ger shot back. He dropped his voice, but fury made every word ring clear in the tense, cold air. “What do you think happens if the jealous lunatic who imprisoned you finds out you’re fucking the man she intends to marry next week?”
“Don’t be crass,” Adeline huffed, but when Kai finally managed to untangle his stiff fingers from her waist, she froze.
“Enough,” he said quietly; both Gerard and Adeline fell silent. She let him guide her off his lap. Kai stood, and as their gazes drew even, he caught the defiant tilt of her chin, saw how hard she worked to suppress the tremble of her lip and the gleam that leeched the warmth from her eyes.
She did not like to cry. He knew that.
“He’s right,” Kai said, gently, as though he could halt the tears with his words alone. “You know he is.”
Adeline swallowed hard, resolve hardening the soft slope of her brow. She snatched up his hand and pressed another parting kiss to the backs of his fingers, swift and decisive.
“We’ve been here too long, Ade. He could wake up any minute. Let’s go.”
“The next time I see you,” she swore, even as Ger took her arm and began towing her to the hall.
“The next time,” he agreed.
And with one bright, honest smile lighting up his doorway, she was gone.
Kai stood where she’d left him, staring at the frostbitten door, hardly daring to move lest the warmth she’d left in her wake fade a little quicker.
He believed what he’d said; believed that the next time he saw her, she would tell him what he’d wanted to know for months now.
Believed that she was brave enough, clever enough, or perhaps just bloody stubborn enough to save them all.
But she would not do it alone.
Kai’s knees swayed beneath him as he turned, and for the first time, it occurred to him to regret the now frozen broth splashed across his floor.
But there were more important concerns than his weakening body; every joint moved like gelatin as he turned for the dresser and began to hunt for a scrap of paper.
You have never listened to a word I say, he wrote, the ink splotching beneath his trembling hand. And for that, I am grateful. For everything, I am grateful. May the Mother be with you all while I cannot. Will send word soon.
It was a struggle to unearth the conch from where Adeline had wedged it, let alone to feed his note into the mouth of the shell.
When he did, it disappeared with a distant gust, as though his words had been inhaled.
Kai was slipping into the dark and uncomfortable unconsciousness that had become his bleak sleep when another soft breath roused him.
He fumbled beneath his pillow, heart pounding.
Grateful you’re not dead. Your drown’d clan loves you.
Kai traced the rounded letters of his sister’s note and laughed. He was still laughing as he lay back, and even as his eyes fell shut. But somewhere between laughter and the numbing sleep that claimed him, Kai was distantly aware of the sting behind his tired eyes.
The frost that had pooled beneath his lashes by morning.