Chapter 18
Blue
Stanley chirped me the entire way through the away game.
The moment the house realized I had not slept in my own bed on Thursday night, my phone was a war zone.
The group chat was a war zone. The bus to the airport on Friday morning was a war zone.
Stanley led the charge. He cited the rule.
He cited Benson, who has personally broken the rule, who is currently in love with his sister’s best friend, who has spent one month making heart eyes at his own girlfriend across our kitchen, and who was, instead of defending me, giving me equal shit because Benson is captain and captains give their men shit.
I told Benson he could go fuck himself. He told me he loved me too. Stanley laughed for forty minutes.
I don’t care.
I broke the rule. So what. I’m going to keep breaking it if it means I get her.
We won Friday’s away game three to one.
I have an assist on Stanley’s goal in the first. I don’t pick a fight, which is the first time in four games. The shoulder isn’t so bad.
Melly texts me when the game ended, but I don’t look at it until we’re on the flight back.
Melly: I watched your game.
Melly: Proud of you for not getting into a time-out tonight.
I smile while reading it. My mom and Devin sent me text messages about the game, too. It makes me smile that they still watch from home.
Saturday morning, I sleep until nine. I get up. I lift weights in the garage. I bike for twenty minutes and stretch for fifteen. I clean my room. I eat lunch in the kitchen with Benson and Lucy.
Benson says to Lucy, “Baby, there’s no party tonight, but do you want to invite the girls anyway? We can play board games and––”
“Why, so you can cheat at Uno?” Lucy asks.
He smirks at her. “Baby, it’s Stanley’s rules.”
I don’t want to know what they’re talking about, so I pull out my phone and ignore the rest of their conversation.
“Blue,” Benson says. “How does that sound?”
“What?”
“We’ll invite some of the guys. Lucy can bring her friends. It won’t be a party, but…” He shrugs.
“Yeah. Sounds good.”
He pats my shoulder. “Go buy the booze.”
I text Melly.
Me: We’re doing something at the house.
Melly: Lucy just texted the group about it.
Me: Are you coming?
Melly: Should I not?
Me: What?
Melly: Idk.
I stare at the phone for a second. I can’t tell if she’s messing with me.
Me: Do you have other plans?
The three dots appear and then disappear. I look up, and Lucy quickly looks away, pretending like she was doing something else. I look back at my phone. Melly didn’t text back yet, and it doesn’t look like she’s going to.
Me: I was going to ask if you want me to pick up.
Melly: I can catch a ride.
I sigh, scratching my face. I was holding my breath the whole time. For a minute, I thought I blew it.
Me: I want to see you.
Silence.
I rub my chin, leaning forward. I hold my phone in front of me and wait for the dots.
Nothing.
Me: I’m not drinking tonight. I want to be sober. With you.
The dots appear for a count of eight.
Melly: Okay. I won’t drink either.
That’s all I needed. I put my phone face down and look up at Benson and Lucy. They’re kissing. Christ. I grab my phone, pocket it, and tell them that I’m going out to get the beer.
The store run is quick. The group chat was blowing up with all the dumb shit Stanley wanted me to buy. Benson threw a few things in there, too. I got a lot more than just alcohol.
The guys are playing video games when I get back. Stanley throws a controller at me the second I’m done putting the groceries away. I sit on the couch and jump into the game.
After an hour, Benson tries to pass me a beer. I push it out of my face. “Nah, man. I’m not drinking tonight.”
“The fuck?” Benson says. “Why not?”
“Not in the mood.”
Rowan says, “Are you quitting alcohol? If you are, I’m down.”
I bump my forearm with him. “Let’s do it.”
Benson looks at Rowan and I while Stanley scoffs under his breath.
Percy says, “I’m in too.”
“What do you say, cap?”
He drinks the beer he was going to hand me. “Someone’s gotta drink this shit.”
I turn back to the game, and the time slips away from me. Before I know it, Melly’s walking through the front door. I hear Gianna and Mara talking as they walk in.
I don’t pause the game when I turn my head.
Melly is in a dress. It’s short and blue. The soft kind of blue that lives in the middle of the spectrum. Tights underneath. Boots. A long coat, unbuttoned at the top, the dress showing at the collar. Her hair is half-up, half-down. She’s wearing makeup.
And I fucking tremble at how stunning she looks tonight.
Nothing good comes out of trembling at the sight of a girl.
My heart starts on a racetrack.
She looks up when Stanley is screaming at me to pay attention to the game. I ignore him and watch her face break into a full smile.
I lift my hand to wave at her when Stanley shoves my chest.
“Fuck,” I huff out to Stanley. “It’s just a game.”
His head turns to see what I’m looking at, and he double-takes. I know why. Melly is gorgeous. The pop of blue makes her eyes pop, and her full face of makeup enhances her features. Hell, she doesn’t need the makeup, but I’m in deep trouble.
I give Stanley a death glare, and when he doesn’t stop staring at my girl, I shove his chest hard.
“Fuck, Blue,” he snaps.
I throw another death glare at Walker and Tate who just walked in and look at her. I throw the controller down and walk over to Melly.
I feel so out of my mind right now. I might lose it completely.
“Hi, Blue,” she says as I stare at Walker and Tate to keep fucking walking.
I look down at her, trying to calm the hell down before I scare her away.
“Hi, Melly.”
I stare into her eyes. Jesus Christ, her eyes are my favorite color.
She pushes a container into my hands.
“I baked brownies.”
I open them on the spot. “I’m hiding this in my room.”
She snickers. “They’re for the party.”
I take a bite of the brownie and shake my head. “So good.”
I walk to the kitchen and place the container on the counter. She follows me in, talking with Mila. I look down at Melly’s legs in the black tights and internally sigh. Mila leaves two minutes later, and Melly looks at me.
“Are you going to be okay tonight?” she asks.
“What do you mean?”
She smirks. “You didn’t start a fight at last night’s game, so I’m a little worried you have some pent-up energy.”
I inhale. She has no idea. “I’ll be fine.”
“You look tense.”
I can’t help but let out a small laugh. It’s because she’s dolled up, and I have to protect her from my horny teammates.
“Water?” I ask.
She nods. “Yeah.”
I get both of us waters, and the crowd of girls walks in, being loud about I don’t know what. Melly seems to know because she butts in. When she does, she slides under my arm without meaning to. I look down at her and let my arm rest on her shoulder.
She leans against me, and my heart’s racing wildly against my ribs. I inhale her shampoo and blink slowly. Tonight’s going to be a slow kind of torture with all these fucking people in my house.
Stanley makes a sound, so I lean my head back to look in the living room.
I don’t know what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got my full attention.
When my head tilts back, I learn that he was trying to get my attention.
He points at the Hawthorne House rules on the whiteboard. I lift my hand and flip him off.
Melly looks up at me, so I look down and smile. I place my hand down and whisper, “Wanna go upstairs and talk?”
She looks at my mouth. “Talk?”
I nod. “Yeah, I have something I wanted your opinion on.”
That catches her attention, so she nods. I grab her hand and lead her away from the noise.
“Where are you going?” Stanley says in a sly voice. “Upstairs is off-limits, Melly girl.”
I tighten my grip on her hand. “Don’t listen to him. He needs to get a life.”
We walk faster up the stairs now that the entire house is our audience.
One of the girls catcalls us.
“God,” I mutter.
I pull her into my bedroom and turn on the light. I shut the door and turn the lock. She walks to the bed and sits on the edge. She sets her hands in her lap and looks at me.
“You look stunning, Melly, as always.”
“Always?” she asks.
I nod. “Always.”
I sit on the bed next to her and say, “The get-together tonight was Benson’s idea, but I was hoping to hang out with just you.”
“Oh,” she says. “What did you want to do?”
I shrug. “Watch a movie or something.”
“I thought you wanted to talk?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I smirk. “That too.”
She waits patiently for me to continue. I stare at her legs for a long moment, not knowing where to start.
My heart’s slamming so hard against my chest that I forget how to talk.
My eyes meet hers, and I think she knows what’s coming.
I think she wants me to kiss her, but I can’t do that.
Not yet. Not like this. Not without talking.
I want to tell her I’m done with the distance. I want to tell her she’s been the only one. I want to tell her every fucking thing I have not said. I open my mouth, and nothing comes out.
She places a hand on my back and asks, “Are you okay?”
I shake my head. “No. Yeah. I’m okay.”
I drop my head and adjust my hat. “I just don’t know how to do this, Melly.”
She doesn’t say anything.
“I haven’t done this before, and it feels––”
She leans her chin on my shoulder and murmurs, “It feels scary.”
I swallow. “Yeah.” I nod. “Very.”
I lick my lips, staring at the ground.
“I’m scared too,” she whispers. “Scared that you’re going to change your mind.”
I turn to her. Is she kidding?
I say, “I’m scared you’ve already changed your mind.”
“Then we have the same problem.”
I reach for her face. “I’m not going to change my mind, Mel. I’m done changing my mind.”
Her cheek rests in my palm as her breath falters.
“What if you do?”
“I won’t.”
“Blue.”
“Mel, I won’t.” I look at her, and I hold her eyes until she stops looking for the exit in my face. “I have spent two years pretending I could live without you. I can’t. I’m done pretending.”
Her eyes fill with water, but she doesn’t let the tears fall.
I continue, “I want you. In every way you’ll let me.”
She lifts her hand and touches mine on her cheek. “So, what are you saying?”
A slow smile grows on my face as I look at her. “I want to call you mine.”
“Really?”
I nod. I reach for her other cheek with my other hand. Both of my hands on her face. Her teary eyes on mine. “Melly Sorcha, will you be my girlfriend?”
Her face breaks into the biggest smile I have ever seen on her face, and it is wrapping itself around my heart and squeezing. It’s the look I have been dying to see on her face ever since I left her that night in high school.
She nods. “Yes.”
I exhale a breath I have been holding since I was seventeen years old.
“Yes?”
“Yes, Blue. Yes.”
I drop my forehead to hers.
I feel her breath sync with mine.
She’s looking at me like a girl who has loved me her whole life.
She has.
She has loved me her whole life, and I’m about to lean down and kiss her for the first time in a long time.