4. Chapter Four
Penelope
Somebody yells, “Shots!”
The whole house erupts, screaming as everyone rushes to the kitchen. Bodies are squeezing through the doorway in a wave of hockey players and girls laughing into red cups.
Stanley, who is either the funniest person in this house or the biggest liability, vaults over the back of the couch instead of walking around it, lands with both feet, throws his arms into the air, and nearly takes someone out.
“If you break anything, Stanley,” Benson calls over the music, “including someone’s sanity, you’re going to pay for it.”
The room dissolves into laughter.
I smile into my cup.
Hawthorne House feels like someone bottled chaos and let it explode.
These parties are known for getting wild.
Every room has something happening. Somebody’s playing cards on the dining room table.
Music is so loud that I can’t hear Ivory over it.
The kitchen is so full that people are crowding outside the door, trying to look in.
Every few minutes, someone new walks through the front door.
And I’m standing here, soaked in the beer I wasn’t even drinking, because a freshman the size of a wall wasn’t looking where he was going.
I thought athletes weren’t supposed to be clumsy, like that’s a rule, isn’t it?
Ivory appears beside me with Drew Faulkner resting his arm around her neck.
“I leave you alone for two minutes,” she says, “and you’ve already lost Theo. Where did he go?”
“With the crowd,” I say, gesturing towards the kitchen.
She looks me up and down. “You’re judging.”
“I’m absolutely judging.”
She laughs.
I take another sip of my drink, though I don’t really want it. I prefer wine to whatever vodka cranberry juice someone made. I’ve been sipping the same cup since the beer spilled.
Drew disappears when somebody yells his name from the kitchen.
Ivory follows after him with an exaggerated sigh. “Do you want to come?”
I shake my head right as Theo walks around her. “I’ve been looking for you,” he says to me. “Where did you disappear to?”
I blush, looking at Ivory, who makes eyes at me and quietly slips away.
Theo Marsh. His smile gets me every time.
“You disappeared,” I tease.
“I went to Italy,” he says as he lifts the cup in his right hand.
“You did?”
He passes the cup to my open hand and takes the vodka cranberry that I’ve been nursing. “I brought you a postcard.”
I glance at my new cup.
He smirks. “It’s wine.”
I look at his face, flattered. “A postcard?”
He nods, drinking off the rest of my vodka cranberry. Then he stacks the cups together. His shoulder brushes mine as he leans beside me, completely comfortable invading my personal space, but I notice that he’s doing it on purpose. He sips his drink and watches me over the top of it.
I drink the wine he brought me and nearly hesitate, because beer, vodka, and wine are probably the worst combination. I take a small sip anyway. Cheap wine.
“Still drawing?” he asks me, leaning in so that I hear him over the music.
I nod.
“What’re you drawing these days?” he asks.
“Houses.”
He makes a face.
I lean in. “Still hitting pucks?”
He grins, nodding. “Do you wanna get out of here?”
I look at his eyes. His face breaks into a smile. He knows exactly what he’s doing. I smile back.
Then my phone buzzes in my purse. I don’t answer him as I grab it and look at the screen.
Mom: How did the interview go?
My smile fades before I can stop it. I can’t tell if she’s asking a genuine question or if she’s waiting to pounce.
The cream-colored folder flashes through my mind exactly where I left it on my passenger seat.
It’s unsigned and waiting. I know I’m going to take the internship.
It would be dumb not to. It’ll give me the experience I need.
Even here, with music pounding and Stanley waltzing back into the living room, attempting something that looks suspiciously like another backflip, Chicago somehow finds me.
I’m not sure how to tell my mom that it’s not what I want.
Theo glances down at my phone and takes a sip of his drink. Then his eyes travel back up.
“Yeah,” I say, putting my phone back in my purse. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Your place?” he grins.
“What?”
“I’m in the dorms again this year.”
“Oh,” I say, looking around the room. “Okay. Yeah. Ivory and I came together.”
He grins wider. “I know. Drew is going home with her. We can catch a ride with them.”
A slow smile spreads on my face. Catch a ride with them.
She took an Uber and was planning to drive home with me.
It dawns on me then that the guy I’m hooking up with –– doesn’t matter how hot he is –– is living in the dorms, with no car, relying on his friend’s girl for a ride, and the bittersweet irony is that I’m the one with the vehicle.
“Right.” I nod politely. “Yeah. Let’s go find them.”
He pulls me through the party, slipping right past the loud crowd. Drew and Ivory are in the corner of the kitchen, making out. Theo doesn’t hesitate. He walks right up to them and starts talking. Ivory wipes her mouth as she giggles, looking up at me.
Drew turns around and nods. “What’s up?”
“Let’s go back to their place.” Theo pulls me into him and rests his arm around my neck.
Drew looks down at Ivory. “Ready?”
She shrugs. “Yeah, sure.” And then she sneaks around him, grabbing me by the arm. “After we dance a little.” She shrieks loudly as she pulls me out of the kitchen.
I catch Theo’s eyes right before we cut the corner.
She pulls me through the house, past where everyone’s dancing, and straight to a door I hadn’t noticed before. She opens it, and there are two people sitting on the step. They stand up immediately as she tugs me out. I close the door behind me and shiver. The cold reaches every inch of my skin.
“I thought we were dancing,” I mutter, stepping down. Then my eyes look up at the two tall guys, standing with their hands in their pockets. I lock eyes with the guy who ran into me earlier.
Ivory pulls my attention back to her and says, “Do you want them to come to our place? I know you barely had anything to drink, and I just want to make sure that you’re good.”
“I’m good.” I nod. “Yeah. Are you?” I look at her flushed face. “Should we not invite them back?”
Ivory turns around, finally realizing that we’re not alone. She points with her thumb and whispers, “Is that?”
I nod.
Ivory turns around and says, “You spilled beer all over my friend, you big––” She looks at the other guy. “Boof!”
Boof?
That’s new.
“And you didn’t even offer her a new shirt, but look at you. You can change into something clean.” She turns around and storms back to the door. “Let’s go, Penelope.”
I let out a breath because she’s drunk, and I don’t want to apologize for her, but it was a little uncalled for. The two guys stare at me for an awkward millisecond.
The one who bumped into me clears his throat. “Do you want a new shirt?”
“For the love of God!” Ivory snaps, grabbing my arm and pulling me back into the house. She shuts the door and says, while rolling her eyes, “Freshmen.”
We walk around the party until we find Drew and Theo.
“Ready,” she says, tucking herself under Drew’s arm. “Let’s go.”
The drive back to Linden Street is louder than the party.
Drew and Ivory occupy the entire back seat, talking over one another between bursts of laughter, arguing about whether Stanley actually landed the backflip or merely survived it.
Every time Drew finishes a sentence, Ivory starts another one, and somewhere in the middle of it all, she reaches forward and turns the radio up another notch.
Theo sits beside me with one elbow resting against the open window.
The late-summer air rolls through the car, carrying just enough coolness to cut through the warmth of the crowded house we’d left behind. At the next red light, his hand settles lightly against my knee. I don’t think twice about it.
“I forgot how nice this town is,” he says, looking out the windshield.
The rest of the drive passes easily. Drew tells a story from preseason that makes absolutely no sense to me but has everyone else laughing.
Theo joins in, adding details, while I keep my eyes on the road and let them fill the silence.
By the time I pull into our parking spot, everyone’s still talking.
Ivory is out of the car before I’ve even turned the engine off.
“Race you upstairs,” she says.
“I’ll give you a head start,” Drew calls after her.
Theo waits while I lock the car. “Are you having a good time?”
I flash him an exaggerated smile and nod.
He smiles. “Okay.”
Ivory doesn’t win the race.
The apartment is warm when we step inside. I lock the door behind us. Ivory grabs Drew’s hand and laughs at something only the two of them understand. They disappear down the hallway. Her bedroom door closes, and silence settles over the apartment.
Theo looks around once. “Nice place.”
“Thanks.”
That’s all. No questions. No curiosity about the sketches spread across my drafting table or the dozens of trinkets I have on the bookshelf or the charcoal drawing clipped beside the window that took me almost three weeks to finish.
He doesn’t ask because he isn’t here for any of it.
I don’t mind. In fact, I prefer it. People spend so much time trying to dig underneath one another, convinced there’s always something hidden worth finding.
Theo has never done that. He likes spending time with me.
I like spending time with him. Neither of us has mistaken that for something bigger.
There are no promises. No expectations. No conversations about next month or next year.
Just tonight, and I like the simplicity of it. Simple has never asked too much of me.
He steps closer, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Everything okay?”
I look up at him.
“Want me to take your mind off of things?”
I nod.
He doesn’t say anything more. He kisses me until my mind quiets. I kiss him back and lead him to my bedroom. The whole time, I can’t stop thinking about how casual this is. I never thought I’d be that girl, only in it for one thing.
On my bed, he slides his hand under my dress. He pushes my underwear to the side and works two fingers into me. I moan against his mouth.
It isn’t that hole that needs filling, but it’ll do.