Chapter 6
At one o’clock sharp, I stepped onto the ice.
I loved the sound my blades made as they slid over the ice, cutting into the surface.
It would have been marked before lunch, but was now smooth after the Zamboni had resurfaced it.
There was something peaceful about the sound, even though it was caused by destruction.
The ice was like a blank canvas now, but instead of paint, we would mark it up by cutting into it.
In a couple of quick strokes, I was away from the boards, gaining speed as I went. Even though I was in a zip-up athletic sweater and leggings, I could still feel enough of the breeze against my face. I smiled. The cool air was always welcome when I got going.
I picked up speed as I made it to the other end of the rink, turning counter-clockwise with deep crossovers.
I continued to go faster as I went, turning a few times, before flinging myself into the air.
Taking off on the edge of one foot and landing on the other after two rotations, I felt myself grow relaxed.
The feelings that had inundated me that morning were ones I hadn’t felt for six years.
This, on the other hand, was calming. It had been years since I’d first attempted a double Salchow.
I had struggled at the time not to cheat the landing, but it had long since become easy.
After spending so many years doing triples, doubles felt like a nice warm-up.
Although my coach had thought I might do better as a pair than as a singles skater, I’d always been a strong jumper.
I was the first girl in my class to land a double jump.
As soon as I’d gotten confirmation that I’d done it right, my grin had been plastered to my face.
I landed each type of jump in turn, working my way up to a double axel.
That extra half rotation had proven more difficult than I’d been expecting, but in time I’d mastered that too.
Coming out of a jump and picking up speed again, I saw a dark figure out of the corner of my eye.
It was barely a glimpse, but I recognized it as Dom instantly.
We didn’t always get the rink to ourselves, but I’d been able to pick out his stride amongst others for years.
The way Dom skated was identifiable even amidst the warm-ups before a competition, with five other pairs moving around.
I skated towards him, long strides helping me reach him quickly.
We were near centre ice when we met, hands outstretched.
We skated side by side, matching our strides to each other effortlessly.
He may walk faster than I do, but I didn’t have to worry about him outpacing me on skates.
We had long since adjusted to each other, so much that I found myself going at this speed even when he wasn’t around.
We had made it most of the way around the rink before he said, “Let’s get you up.”
I grinned. He knew me so well. I turned so I was skating backwards. I was a couple of paces in front of him, but we were still in sync. “Should we start with the beginning of last year’s short program to get warmed up?” I asked.
Dom nodded, eyes sparkling under the bright fluorescent lights.
A moment later, his expression changed. I knew he had turned all his focus to the routine.
He offered me his hand and we pushed off together.
We had a few warm-up moves, each of them so ingrained in my muscle memory that I didn’t have to think about what I was doing.
Then both of my hands were in his and he lifted me into the air easily.
I was above his head, legs spread, spinning as we went.
A turn later and I was down, each of us balanced on one foot with our free hand outstretched.
We continued for a bit, getting past our side-by-side jumps and a bit of footwork before slowing down.
Mark and Olga were standing near the boards at the entrance to the ice.
He was wearing a nondescript black jacket and jeans, while Olga had her signature ruby red jacket on.
I had been vaguely aware that they were watching at first, but once we started skating, my world shrunk to Dom and me.
Everyone and everything else was simply background noise.
Nothing else in the world mattered. It was a good thing in competitions, since I didn’t overthink all the judges and cameras watching me.
It didn’t have the same benefits during practices, especially when somebody was trying to talk to us or get our attention.
We stopped in near unison, a few feet in front of Mark and Olga.
Even though we had skated over on our own, we still stood only a foot apart.
We didn’t need to be so close together when we were talking about our plans for ice time, technically speaking, but it was habit.
If it were anybody else, I would feel crowded, but personal space with Dom was different somehow.
Grinding up against him earlier had been weird, and maybe that feeling would extend to the ice too, but I didn’t think it would be so bad.
On the ice, we were one. It was weird not having him with me here.
On the very rare occasions that I skated without him, I found myself looking for him absentmindedly.
“You practised your steps earlier?” Olga asked. We nodded and, if not quite pleased, she at least seemed satisfied. “Let’s see how the practice transfers to the ice.” She unclasped her hands, which were covered in black leather gloves, and gestured to the spot she wanted us to start from.
Dom and I took off for centre ice together, close enough that we could reach out and touch each other if we wanted to.
My on-ice instincts for him felt like those of a child reaching for a favourite stuffed animal.
Knowing that he was there if I needed him was always reassuring.
I didn’t know why I would need to grab at him now, but him being next to me was comforting just the same.
We got settled into our opening position.
I arched my back and leaned back slightly while Dom supported me.
I did my best to look ladylike while Dom was allowed to look stoic.
We stared into each other’s eyes like we had done a million times before, watching each other as we prepared to start.
Yet the feeling from earlier came back, the tightening in my chest and warmth rushing through my body.
The pressure of his fingers through my shirt sent a jolt of electricity through me.
Shit.
Dom was counting us in, so there was no time to think about it. Thankfully, my body registered that it needed to get moving before my brain did. Olga's criticism would be unbearable if failed to get out of the starting pose without screwing up. I might as well hang up my skates.
We moved slowly at first, arms out as we first skated away from each other and then closer together.
A few spins as we skated in the same area, before we started off to one side of the rink.
I could barely see him out of the corner of my eye as we flung ourselves into the air for a pair of triple Lutzes, landing in sync with our arms outstretched.
It was the most difficult jump that we did, so it made sense to get it out of the way early.
We could get extra points for doing moves in the last stretch of the program, but there were some things that were nearly impossible to pull off when you were exhausted.
It was also why we had our twist in the first 45 seconds of the program.
Dom made it through the step sequence without speeding up like he had earlier, which meant Olga wasn’t yelling at us that we needed to fix our timing.
A few more joining moves and then I was up against him like we had been in practice earlier, moving my hips.
He spun me around with a grip of the hand, holding it through the rotations until I stopped so we were face to face.
His free hand gently ran down my cheek and jaw while we stared into each other’s eyes.
Focus, focus, focus, I told myself as he lifted me briefly, spinning both of us.
My brain felt like it had turned to jello.
Thankfully, it was over with quickly. We started skating again and I turned my attention to our upcoming lift.
We finished the program just off of centre ice, pulling out of a spin, bodies close together in a way that was awkward if you weren’t really focusing on what you were doing.
Dom and I were both breathing hard as he pulled me out of my final position, making sure that I was steady before he let go.
“That didn’t go too badly,” he said.
I nodded rather than speaking. Two minutes and forty seconds wasn’t that long in most circumstances.
But when you pushed yourself physically for that long on the ice, it took a surprising amount out of you.
My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest and it would take me a bit to catch my breath.
I licked my lips before saying, “Well, we didn’t fall. That’s got to count for something.”
“Because that's the bar we should be working to clear after eight years together,” Dom joked. “Any routine that doesn’t end in a fall is a success. That's going to get us gold medals at the Games.”
“Maybe, but we’re just hopefuls at this point,” I corrected.
Dom’s raised eyebrow made it clear that he thought we would have to screw up pretty badly to not make it. Even with our position as the favourites to win Nationals, I still didn’t like how he was talking.
“Don’t tempt fate,” I told him, looking down at my feet.
The sound of Mark and Olga skating towards us surprised me, making my head jerk back up. It really shouldn’t have. Of course, they would want to discuss what they’d seen with us after the routine, but I had been so focused on Dom that it had somehow caught me off-guard.