CHAPTER 7
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Quay
Jail days had a way of running together the same cold air, ugly walls, and loud noise.
Same miserable ass food that tasted like it had been cooked by somebody who hated everybody in the building.
Every morning felt the same, and that was what made this shit dangerous. A man could definitely lose himself in routine if he wasn’t careful especially losing track of who he was before the cell doors started deciding when he could piss, eat, shower, and breathe.
I hated that more than anything.
Not just being locked up but being controlled too.
That was the shit that sat heavy in my chest every single day.
By the time they let us out for yard, I was already irritated. I had barely slept the night before, and that was saying something because sleep didn’t come easy in that place no matter how tired a man was. Too much noise, tension, and thinking.
And every thought I had somehow found its way back to Kales.
I kept seeing her face in visitation telling me she had been ready to ride with me until Victoria showed up.
Hearing that hurt in her voice when she said fuck me up the most.
And the crazy part was, I couldn’t even blame her.
I had gave her too many reasons…too many lies, and too many things to find out the hard way.
So yeah, my mood was already fucked up before I even hit the yard.
The second I stepped outside; I checked out everything the way I always did. Who was posted where. Who was talking to who. Who looked too quiet. Who looked like they had something on their mind. In jail, paying attention wasn’t optional. It was survival.
A couple dudes nodded at me as I moved through, and I nodded back.
I wasn’t cool with everybody, but I was solid enough in there that most people knew not to play with me for no reason.
Plus, I had a couple guards that fucked with me.
Not on no weird shit, but enough that they knew I wasn’t one of them wild crash-out inmates looking to cause problems every five minutes.
That helped me out a little, but not enough to stop bullshit from finding me.
I was standing over by the fence talking to one of the older heads about absolutely nothing when I heard somebody behind me say, “Ain’t that Quay?”
I turned and saw a nigga I knew by face more than name. Stocky build. Gold tooth. Beady eyes. One of them loud types that always looked like he had something to prove.
I ain’t say nothing.
He smirked when he saw me look at him.
“Heard your bitch out there working with Samir now.”
That was all it took.
I moved before I even really thought about it.
My fist landed in his mouth so hard his head snapped back, and chaos hit right after that.
He swung, I ducked, and then we was going at it in the dirt with everybody around us yelling like this was the best part of their day.
I caught him twice in the ribs and once across his eye before the guards rushed in.
He got one good hit on the side of my face, but it was weak and sloppy because he was more shocked than ready.
The whole time, all I could hear in my head was that one sentence.
Your bitch out there working with Samir now.
That shit made my blood boil.
Because my mind did exactly what I didn’t need it to do, and that was run wild.
What did he mean working with Samir?
How close had Samir gotten to her?
How the fuck did Samir even get near her?
Was Kales around him by choice?
Did she know who he really was?
Did she know what kind of man he was standing ten toes in front of?
By the time the guards pulled us apart, my chest was heaving and my jaw was tight enough to crack teeth.
“Enough!” one of the COs barked, shoving me back.
The other dude was still talking, blood on his lip and that stupid ass smile still on his face.
“I’m just saying what everybody saying.” He laughed. “Your girl getting money from that nigga now.”
I lunged again, but the guard in front of me caught my chest.
“Quay, chill the fuck out,” he snapped.
I looked over at the other dude and pointed. “Tell that bitch ass nigga keep my woman name out his mouth.”
The CO looked at him too. “You. Shut the fuck up.”
The other inmate kept grinning, but he backed off because even he knew he had already pushed his luck.
They walked us both off, but I already knew I wasn’t going to the hole.
For one, I had not started the fight. Everybody in that yard had heard him run his mouth first.
And two, a couple of the guards knew me well enough to know I didn’t just snap for no reason. I might have handled it wrong, but I wasn’t one of them inmates looking for random action just because I was bored.
So instead of the hole, they stuck me back inside early and gave me that same warning they always gave.
Get your shit together.
As if that was simple.
Like hearing Samir’s name next to Kales was something I was supposed to just breathe through.
By the time I got back to the cell, my face was hot, my knuckles were sore, and my mind was all over the place.
Reese looked up from his bunk when I came in and frowned.
“Damn,” he said. “What the fuck happened to you?”
I sat down hard on the edge of the bunk and rubbed my hand over my mouth. “A nigga got slick in the yard.”
Reese studied me for a second. “About what?”
I let out a breath through my nose. “Bitch ass nigga said Kales working with Samir now.”
That made his brows pull together.
He was quiet for a second, then said, “And you believed him enough to swing?”
“I didn’t swing because I believed him,” I snapped. “I swung because he said her name.”
Reese gave me a look that told me he wasn’t buying that full story.
I looked away.
Because truth was, some part of me had believed it.
At least enough for it to get under my skin.
Enough for jealousy and fear to hit me at the same damn time.
Reese leaned back against the wall. “First of all, Kales don’t even seem like that.”
I looked up at him.
He shrugged. “From everything you said, she is not no grimy female. She not the type to just jump ship and start fucking with your enemy because you got locked up.”
I clenched my jaw.
“I know that.”
“Do you?” he asked.
That irritated me, but I let him keep talking.
“Because right now you sounding more mad at her than at the situation.”
I stared at the floor for a second.
He wasn’t completely wrong.
And I hated that too.
Reese rubbed his hands together and looked at me. “Let us say for a second it is true. Let us say she is around Samir. You really think it is because she woke up one morning and decided she wanted to be around that nigga?”
I didn’t answer.
He nodded like he already knew.
“Exactly. So think, Quay. You took care of everything for her, right?”
I looked over at him. “Yeah.”
“Bills?”
“Yeah.”
“Food?”
“Yeah.”
“School?”
“Yeah.”
He spread his hands. “Aight then. So now you in here, and all that stops. What the fuck you think life look like for her right now?”
That shut me up.
Because as much as I loved Kales, as much as I thought about her every damn day in that place, I had still been caught up in my own anger just now. My own jealousy and fear of Samir getting near something that belonged to me.
But Reese was making me look at it another way.
Kales was probably drowning.
And I had thrown her in that water myself.
Reese kept going. “Then on top of all that, she found out about the baby shit.”
I closed my eyes for a second.
That one still made me sick.
He was right, though.
That alone probably had her fucked up in ways I couldn’t even fix from in there.
“She probably all over the place right now,” he said. “Hurt. Embarrassed. Angry. Trying to survive. So if Samir did get near her, maybe he made it so she had to work with him. Maybe she needed money. Maybe she ain’t have no other move. The last thing you should be doing is getting mad at her.”
I really sat there with that.
Because every word was hitting somewhere I didn’t want touched.
He was right… Again.
And I hated that I needed another man in a jail cell to remind me not to punish Kales in my head for the mess I created in real life.
I dragged my hands over my face and leaned forward, elbows on my knees.
“I know,” I said quietly.
Reese looked at me but didn’t say nothing right away.
Then he said, “No, I don’t think you did know. Not until just now.”
I let out a bitter laugh.
Maybe he was right about that too.
Because all I could see at first was red.
Samir, Kales, money, and danger.
Every ugly possibility my mind could come up with.
But once that heat cooled off, all that was left was the truth.
Kales was out there alone without me, with no money or protection.
Just my mess raining down on her from every direction.
And if Samir had found a way to put her to work, then that probably said more about how desperate she was than anything about her character.
That thought made my chest hurt in a way the fight never could.
Because I knew Kales.
She was prideful.
Too prideful sometimes.
If she had put herself in somebody else’s hands for money, especially Samir’s, then she had to be in a real bad place.
And instead of thinking about that first, I had put my fist in another nigga mouth over how it sounded.
I leaned back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling.
This whole shit was getting uglier by the day.
Not just the case.
Everything… My life, choices, and lies.
And now maybe Kales’ survival too.
Reese was quiet on his bunk, letting me sit in it.
That was one thing about him. He knew when to talk and when to leave a man alone with his thoughts.
I appreciated that.
Even if I didn’t say it.
After a while, I looked over at him. “If she really working with Samir…”
He cut in before I could even finish.
“Then pray she smart enough to get through it. Because you cannot do shit from in here except make it worse by turning on her.”
I swallowed hard and nodded once.
He was right.
That was the worst part.
I couldn’t do a damn thing from behind them walls.
Couldn’t pull her out.
Couldn’t warn her the right way.
Couldn’t stand between her and whatever Samir had planned.
All I could do was sit there in that cell and hope the woman I loved didn’t get swallowed whole by the world I should have kept far away from her to begin with.
And for the first time since I got locked up, that helpless feeling sat on me heavier than the case.
Heavier than the fight.
Heavier than the cell.
Because losing my freedom was one thing.
But maybe losing Kales to all the damage I caused?
That was a different kind of sentence.