CHAPTER 11
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Kaleasha “Kales”
I was sitting in this massive bedroom, looking around and still kind of in disbelief at how fast life could change.
After that day in Samir’s office when he forced me to sit down and have lunch with him, something shifted between us.
At first, I tried to act like it wasn’t nothing, like it was just him being him and me going along with it because I was bored and needed the company.
But that wasn’t what it was, and I knew it.
From that day forward, it was like me and Samir had become inseparable.
First it was texting. Then calling. Then little quick food runs and long conversations in the car. Then dinners that turned into late nights. And now here we were.
I couldn’t even lie to myself and act like I didn’t know how I got there.
I let myself get there.
And if I was being honest, I wanted to.
Last night was proof of that.
One minute we were sitting up talking, and the next minute his hands were on me in a way that had my whole body lit up.
He started rubbing on my thighs, then slowly moving higher until my breath got caught in my throat.
By the time his hand slid between my legs, I was already gone.
I should have stopped him. I probably would have if this had been anybody else.
But it was Samir, and the way he touched me felt like he already knew exactly what I needed without me having to say a word.
One thing led to another after that, and I wasn’t mad at all.
Not even a little bit.
If anything, I was still sitting there feeling it all over again.
The way he had kissed me slow at first like he was trying to give me time to change my mind.
The way his hands moved over me like he really wanted to learn every part of my body.
The way he kept looking at me like I was something he had been wanting for a long time and had finally gotten his hands on.
I had never been with a man who felt so patient and in control at the same time.
And maybe that should have scared me more than it did.
But right then, all it felt like was safety.
Samir made me feel loved, protected, and seen, and after everything I had been through, that was what I needed. I needed somebody who made me feel like I deserved softness. I needed somebody who made me feel like I wasn’t crazy for wanting more than struggle, lies, and pain.
The sound of the bedroom door opening brought me from my thoughts.
“Hey, you.”
I looked over and saw Samir walking in with a couple bags in his hand.
“Hey, what you got?” I asked, sitting up a little straighter in the bed.
“I went to the diner and got us some breakfast. How long you been up?”
“I just got up. This view is so beautiful,” I said, glancing back out the oversized window.
Samir had a big ass home. A fucking mini mansion out in Voorhees, New Jersey. I had never been in a place this big before in my life. Me and Quay lived nice, I wasn’t gone lie, but this was different. This had a different kind of money on it. A different kind of power.
Everything about Samir’s house said he was the man.
And the more time I spent around him, the more I realized that was exactly what he was.
I had learned that Quay and Markie had both worked for him for years, and when Samir first told me that, he had watched my face close like he was waiting to see if it was gone change something for me. Truthfully, it didn’t.
Quay hurt me for the last time.
At some point I had stopped caring about who might feel some type of way about me and Samir. I liked what we had going on, and for once, I wanted to let myself have something that felt good without overthinking every damn second of it.
Samir set the bags down on the dresser before walking over to the bed. He had on some gray sweats and a black T-shirt, and just looking at him had me thinking about last night all over again.
He leaned down and kissed my forehead first, then my mouth.
“You sure you okay?” he asked. “You not having second thoughts, are you?”
“Nah,” I said, looking up at him. “I told you I’m good. If I didn’t feel right, I would have never did it.”
One side of his mouth lifted.
“So, you feeling a nigga?” he asked, making me smile.
“Something like that,” I giggled before leaning up to kiss him.
What was supposed to be a quick little peck turned into a long, slow kiss that had my whole body softening against his.
Samir kissed like he meant it. Like he was in no rush but still fully in control.
By the time he pulled away, my lips felt warm and my chest was rising a little faster than before.
I looked at him. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything good,” he said, but his face had changed. “I just gotta holla at you about something.”
The way his expression shifted made my stomach tighten.
“Okay,” I said slowly. “What’s up?”
Samir sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at me for a second before speaking.
“Quay been trying to reach me.”
I blinked.
For a second, I was too shocked to even say anything.
I knew people found out all kinds of stuff in jail, but I didn’t think he would hear about me and Samir this fast. And even if he had, hearing it said out loud still made my stomach flip.
I looked down at the blanket over my lap, then back at Samir.
“And?” I asked.
He shrugged one shoulder. “And I wanted to run it by you before I talked to him. I don’t move funny with shit like that.”
I studied his face.
The wild thing was, I believed him.
He was a lot of things. Controlling. Intense. Too used to getting his way. But funny acting? Nah. Samir had been straight with me in his own way since the beginning. Even when he was being difficult, I never felt like he was trying to hide where I stood with him.
That mattered more than I wanted to admit.
“What are we doing?” I asked before I could stop myself.
Samir looked at me like that was the real question he had been waiting on.
“I’m feeling you,” he said. “And I ain’t no nigga that just play around. I’m looking for some long-term shit.”
My heart beat harder at that.
I knew we were moving fast. Too fast probably. But nothing about my life had been moving normal for a long time now, and the feelings I had around him didn’t feel fake. They felt rushed by circumstance maybe, but not fake.
I looked him in his eyes. “Okay. And I’m looking for the same. So maybe a conversation do need to be had.”
The words shocked me even as they came out.
But they were true.
I was comfortable where I was. And right then, where I was felt like Samir.
He stared at me for a second like he was making sure I meant what I said. Then his hand came up and rested against the side of my face.
That simple touch did something to me.
It wasn’t rough. It wasn’t demanding. It was just firm enough to let me know he was there.
“You sure?” he asked quietly.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
His thumb brushed across my cheek before sliding down to my jaw. “Because once I lock in, I lock in. I don’t do halfway.”
I swallowed.
Something about the way he said that should have made me step back and think longer. Instead, it made heat curl low in my stomach.
Maybe because a part of me was tired of being uncertain. Maybe because I had spent so long feeling unwanted, lied to, and left in the dark that being wanted this openly felt like a drug.
“I’m sure,” I said.
Samir leaned in and kissed me again, slower this time, like he was sealing something.
When he pulled back, his forehead rested against mine for a second.
“Then let me handle Quay,” he murmured.
The way he said it made my chest tighten, but not in a bad way.
More like the kind of feeling you get when you know something is shifting and there is no going back to what it was before.
I nodded once.
“Okay.”
He looked at me a moment longer, then stood and held his hand out. “Come eat before all this get cold.”
I laughed softly and took his hand, letting him pull me up from the bed.
The minute I stood, he slid his arm around my waist and pulled me into him like it was the most natural thing in the world. I looked up at him and smiled without even meaning to.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said, even though it wasn’t really nothing.
It was just that I had not expected to feel this calm in somebody else’s arms so soon. I had not expected to want this. And I definitely had not expected it to be with him.
But there I was.
Wrapped up in Samir, standing in his bedroom with the morning light pouring through the windows, and for the first time in a long time, life didn’t feel so heavy.
He kissed me one more time, softer now, and his hand slid lower against my back.
I felt that kiss all through me.
The kind that made you lean in deeper without even thinking. The kind that made the room go quiet around you. The kind that made it easy to forget every reason you should slow down.
When he pulled away, his eyes searched mine for a second, and the look in them made my stomach flutter.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I said, trying to hide my smile.
“Like what?”
“Like you trying to get me back in that bed before breakfast.”
A grin spread across his face. “Trying?”
I laughed then, real and easy, and pushed lightly against his chest.
“Samir.”
He caught my hand and kissed my palm before turning toward the little sitting area with the food.
I followed behind him, but the whole time my mind was still on what he said.
Quay trying to reach him.
A conversation needing to be had.
Us becoming something real.
It was a lot. Maybe too much. But I wasn’t ready to pull away from it.
Not yet.
And as I watched Samir start pulling food out the bags like this was something we did every day, I knew one thing for sure.
Whatever me and him was becoming, it had already gone too far to pretend it wasn’t nothing.
And the crazy part was, I didn’t want it to stop.