Chapter 23
I’m on the floor of my bathroom where I’ve been all morning, playing with the tufts of my soft fuzzy mat, when the inevitable knock comes on my bedroom door. I’ve been here way too long not to raise suspicion from someone.
Mustering up all my strength, I give my best, “Hello?”
“It’s me, sweetie,” Mama calls from the hall. “Are you still going to the hospital today? Nonna wants to know how many hats you need.”
Fuck me…I completely forgot about the hospital this week.
I’ve actually forgotten about anything aside from hockey.
This is the first year in a long time that the Tide has a real shot at the Cup, and I’m genuinely excited for my brothers, but my excitement for Teddy is unmatched.
I want this dream of his so bad, even if it means we don’t get to see each other as much.
“Actually, I’m feeling a little under the weather today. I must have eaten some bad sushi last night. I’ll call them and let them know I’m not coming.”
It takes Mama a moment to respond. “Oh, I’m sorry, dear. Is there anything I can get you?”
“If you could bring up some ginger ale and crackers, maybe?”
“Are you sure that’s all? I can go to the store and get you whatever you need…”
“No? I think that’s all. Thank you, though.”
“Alright, tesoro, well…let me know if you need anything else…”
“Will do! Thank you!” I yell back to her, hoping that she will finally leave me to throw up in peace.
Weirdo. What could I possibly need that would require her to make a trip to the store?
I catch a glimpse of a half-empty box of tampons that I must have left behind my toilet, and it hits me…
I was supposed to start my period a week ago.
With the playoffs in full swing, my whole schedule has been thrown off.
Oh god. There’s no way I’m fucking pregnant…
right? I stopped taking my birth control the last day Teddy and I were together, which would’ve been…
I run to my room to grab my phone, searching like a maniac for my cycle tracker app. Lo and behold, that weekend lines up perfectly with my ovulation.
That would put me at…five weeks pregnant…
Taking a deep breath, I look down at the stick and almost faint when I see two pink lines. I toss it down and pick up a second test to see the same two lines, then a third, then a fourth, until I reach the digital one that flat out reads “Pregnant.”
“Holy. Fuck. ”
I spin around with a racing heart to see a pale-faced Leo, looking just as stunned as I feel right now. If it were either of my other brothers, I might be scared, but I’m in too much shock as it is to worry about Leo’s judgment.
“Ellie, are those…Are those real? Are you pregnant?”
All I can do is nod as I turn back around to look at the collection of tests laid out before me.
“Fuck,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “Does anyone else know?”
The thought of my other brothers or Papa finding out finally scares my voice back into order. “No!” My shout startles Leo, and I lower my voice to a whisper. “No, nobody knows, and you can’t tell anyone. Okay?”
Leo looks between the tests, my belly, and finally meets my eyes, “Okay, I won’t say anything…”
“Promise?” I hold my pinky out for him to take, a secret pact between us that has always held the utmost importance.
“Only on one condition. You have to tell me who the father is.”
I shake my head, causing him to grab my shoulders. “I swear to God if the man has done something to hurt you, you’d better tell me right now. I’ll kill him. I don’t care what Papa says, I’ll take some men with me.”
“No! No, Leo, I’ll tell you! It’s…It’s nothing like that, I promise.” I take his hand and lead us from my bathroom to my sofa, then pull him down to sit with me. “Mama and Nonna already know about him, but you have to swear you won’t say anything to Papa, Gabri, or Nikki.”
He holds his pinky out to finally seal our promise so I loop mine through his and take a deep breath.
“It’s Teddy.”
“Teddy?”
“Theodore.”
He blinks.
“Theodore Williams…”
“The fucking goalie?”
“Yep. The one and only.”
Leo and I sit in silence for what seems like an eternity. I’m sure he doesn’t know what to say, because what does a guy say when he finds out his sister is knocked up by the forbidden goalie of his brothers’ hockey team?
“How?”
This time, I’m at a loss for words. Because I certainly don’t know how to respond to that question.
To be fair, I don’t know for sure the exact “how.” The last weekend I was with Teddy, he fucked me in every way possible.
But I’m sure my little brother isn’t asking for the specifics of the conception.
“Well, we, um…”
Leo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I got that part, thanks! I mean, how did you and Teddy…was this just a one-time thing, or are you together? How long? Does he know?”
“Leo, I just found out…at the same time as you apparently. So, no, he doesn’t know yet. But no, this wasn’t just a one-time thing. We’ve been seeing each other for months.”
“Fuck. What about Gabri and Nikki? They are going to lose their goddamn minds when they find out that you’ve been hooking up with their goalie for months now.”
“That’s exactly why you can’t say anything! We’re going to tell everyone, I swear. We’re just waiting on the season to end so it doesn’t fuck the whole team up. And we haven’t just been hooking up. I lov—”
The horror on Leo’s face melts into something else, something soft. “You love him?”
I nod. “Yeah, I do. I love him.”
This is the first time I’ve said it out loud, and hearing it makes me smile.
I love Teddy. I’ve loved him for a while.
For the first time since seeing those tests, I’m excited about the results.
This is why I stopped taking my pills in the first place.
Because I love Teddy Williams. For some reason, he’s been adamant about getting me pregnant, and for a stranger reason, I’ve been okay with it.
I definitely didn’t expect it to happen so fast, but I would be lying if I said I haven’t dreamed about it every night since our last time together.
“And he loves you too?”
I nod again, this time with fervor. Because I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me. He might not have said those three words to me yet, but I know. It’s the way he looks at me, the way he holds me, the way he makes me his priority each and every day.
“He’s really on board with telling our brothers about the two of you?”
“Yeah.” I chuckle. “He wanted to tell them a while ago, but I insisted we wait until the playoffs were over.”
“Damn, he really must love you. Those are some scary motherfuckers.”
“I know, right? Maybe if he knew exactly how dangerous they were, he would think twice about it all.”
“Nah, trust me. When a man really loves someone, no one in the world can come between them. No matter how scary or forbidden it is.” Leo wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. “I’m so excited for you, Sis. God, you’re going to be the most amazing mama.”
“Thanks, Leo. You’re going to be the best uncle. I know that Gabri and Nikki will love them, but you’re going to be their favorite.” When I pull back to see him, there are tears in his eyes.
“You really think so?”
“Absolutely. And one day, when you have babies of your own, you’re going to be the best dad in the whole world.”
“I hope so.” His eyes glaze over momentarily as he stares out my window before his attention snaps back to me. “Anyway. Holy shit…you’re having a baby!”
Leo spends the rest of the day rotting in my room with me, holding back my hair while I puke, getting me food, and trying to keep me hydrated.
He rubs my feet and helps me set up a registry.
I know that even if I didn’t have Teddy, Leo would take care of me during this pregnancy.
Luckily, I have a man who already worships the ground I walk on.
I can’t imagine how happy he’s going to be about the baby.
I just have to figure out how to tell him.