Chapter 29
The air in the Santori house remains thick with the grief of Leo’s death.
We’ve been under the strictest lockdown I can remember, and it’s been…
hard. Mama hasn’t left her room, which I understand.
If Nonna hadn’t stressed how important it was to everyone for me to be strong, I wouldn’t leave mine, either.
“Don’t let them fool you. They may seem tough on the outside, but internally, they are waging the same war of pain we are. They are going to need you, Elia. You represent the last bit of goodness in their world, and without that reminder, I’m afraid their bloodlust will blind them.”
And she isn’t wrong. All Gabri and Nikki care about is revenge.
They’re insatiable, and I’ve never seen Papa in such a way either.
He walks around the house, face streaked red from tears, commanding our men with a brutality I’ve never seen before.
He’s ill with everyone. Even Nonna hasn’t escaped his hostility, and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen her cower to her son.
She’s been helping as much as she can as well, stepping back into the role as the lady of the house in Mama’s absence.
“Don’t be too hard on your mama. There is no mourning like that of a mother losing her child.
I know firsthand. I lost a son of my own.
Your Uncle Franco wasn’t much older than Leo when he was killed.
Your father had to step into his role as the heir of the Santori family while grieving his brother.
Luckily, he already had Guilia by his side, or I don’t think he would’ve made it. ”
Leo was the life of our house. He was the final piece of our family unit, and without him, we’re lost. My life has ceased to exist as I know it, yet the world carries on. The days continue to fly by, and somehow, a week has passed since his death.
The dimly lit house is especially quiet as I sulk to the kitchen in search of my morning coffee.
It’s hours later than I would normally be starting my day, and the halls that would once have been filled with laughter and music are now abandoned.
The only sound is the television coming from an empty den.
“The Rising Tide will be starting the final series of the playoffs here in Thunder—”
Fuck, the playoffs start today? I forgot hockey existed the moment the beeping stopped in the hospital.
Abandoning my pursuit of coffee, I turn and head toward Gabri’s office instead.
I want to check in with them because, in the midst of everything going on right now, there’s no way my brothers are in the right headspace to play today.
I’ve barely knocked on the door when Nikki yells for me to come in.
“How did you know it was me?”
“I know your knock. You okay?”
Gabri turns his computer screen back from where it was facing Nikki and sits up a bit straighter. “What do you need, Elia?”
It’s obvious he doesn’t want me in here right now, but I’ve never minded his moodiness. I kiss Nikki on the cheek, then sink into the chair beside him, opposite our brother. “I just wanted to check in on how you two were feeling before the game tonight. I know it’s been—”
“We aren’t playing,” Gabri says with finality, turning back to his computer.
“Wait…what? You aren’t playing in the playoffs?”
“Is that really so shocking to you? Our brother was murdered one week ago. How could you—”
“Don’t be an asshole right now.” Nikki cuts him off and takes my hand. “We talked about it and decided it would be best for the family if we sat this series out and focused our efforts elsewhere.”
I’m trying to justify this, just like I’ve tried to be the strong one for everyone all week, but I can’t.
“But your team is counting on you.”
“Our family is counting on us. I couldn’t care less about those guys.”
“Are you serious? You’re their captains!”
Gabri slams a fist on his desk, startling me. “And I would trade every single one of them to have Leo back. I would have thought you would too, but it seems like you care more about random guys you don’t even know than your own brother.”
White-hot rage fills my body at his accusation.
As if either his or Nikki’s relationship with Leo ever held a candle to my own.
They were off doing whatever big bad Mafia things they had to do or being their hockey-hotshot selves.
They always left Leo and me out. Because of our age gaps, we were basically two separate sets of siblings.
It wasn’t until Leo got into college and Papa started including him in the family business that they made a point to spend time with him.
“How dare you—”
Nikki steps in again, trying to ease some of the tension. “This is a lot for all of us. Gabri and I wouldn’t be good for the team right now, even if we tried. It’s better for them if we aren’t there, trust me.”
Teddy.
I haven’t thought much about anything in the past week, even the man who would normally occupy my every thought.
All that time, we kept things hidden because it was best for the team.
He wanted to tell my brothers about us but agreed not to, so the guys, including my brothers, could have a chance at their dream.
How could my brothers care so little about their team that they wouldn’t even show up? I know things are hard right now, but…
My feelings explode in waves, and I know that I can’t keep them hidden any longer. I’ve been suffering for months, wanting nothing more than to be with my Teddy, and for what? If they don’t care about the playoffs, then what’s the point?
“I have to tell you both something. There’s this guy and—”
Gabri sighs. “This really isn’t a good time—”
“It will never be a good time,” I yell, tears streaming down my face.
My outburst finally stuns my brother into silence, and for the first time in my entire life, I have both his and Nikki’s full attention.
“It will never be a good time, but if Leo’s death has taught us anything, it’s that life is too fucking short!
I’m in love with your goalie, okay? I know about your stupid rule, but I don’t care anymore!
We’re great together! I promise neither of us knew about the other when we met.
He wasn’t going behind your backs, and neither was I.
And we did try to part ways when we found out, but we just…
we couldn’t stand it. I love him, okay?”
Whatever reaction I thought I’d get, it most definitely isn’t them just staring at me speechless. I know Gabri is a man of few words, but I expected something from Nikki. Minutes pass in silence before Nikki finally speaks up.
“You’re dating…Pretzel?”
“No? I’m dating Teddy.”
Nikki’s eyes flood with anger. Alright, this is more the reaction I expected.
“Teddy Taranov?”
“Um, well no, Teddy Williams.”
I glance at Gabri to see him seething as well. “His last name is Taranov. Williams was a ruse.” His voice is calm. Too calm.
“Taranov, like the family that killed our brother!”
Nikki never yells at me, but I see now why he inspires such fear in people. I’ve never been so afraid as they both glare at me. Not that I believe they would ever truly hurt me, but Teddy and our baby…
“What do you mean? Teddy would never hurt—”
“Wouldn’t he, Elia? Doesn’t the timing of it all seem suspicious?
When exactly did you start dating him? A few months ago would be right after he got traded to Thunder Bay…
Out of fucking nowhere, might I add. That kind of trade mid-season is rare.
Unless someone with power is pulling the strings.
Wouldn’t it make perfect sense for him to use you, the daughter of Dante Santori, to weasel his way into our family?
You’re the easiest way to do that. No offense, but you’ve always been the weakest of us.
Always trying to see the good in everyone. Your naivety is undeniable.”
“Kindess is not a weakness! And I don’t believe you. Teddy didn’t use me. He wouldn’t. I know he wouldn’t.”
Right? I know things have been tense between us, but he wouldn’t hurt me like that. I’m not that naive. Even if every word out of his mouth was a lie, there was authenticity in the way our souls called to each other.
“Then where is he now?” Nikki asks, but it seems as if he already knows.
“I…I haven’t talked to him since Leo di…I haven’t even looked at my phone.”
Gabri stands from behind his desk and rounds the corner to stand over me.
“If you’re so sure of his innocence, then go to him.
Ask him what he and Leo were doing together the night before our brother died.
Take ten of our best men and be careful.
Mama won’t survive losing another child.
” He leaves in a huff, and I don’t think he’s ever made me feel so small.
Nikki follows without so much as a goodbye as they leave me to cry alone.
I’m equal parts frustrated at my brothers for believing Teddy would do this and at Teddy for not being honest. Not that I can blame him for his lack of transparency, when I didn’t tell him about my family either.
One thing I do know is that I have to see him.
I’ve been too wrapped up in the loss of Leo to think about anything else, but I owe it to my heart and our baby to resolve this.
With the lockdown still in full effect, I didn’t think I would stand a chance, but Gabri was true to his word. Ten of our best men are waiting for me in the garage. They file into three bulletproof SUVs after helping me into the most heavily guarded vehicle, then my driver turns to me.
“Where to, Miss Santori?”
My entourage parks at the back of Teddy’s condo and leaves their vehicles to scope out the safest vantage points around the area.
I tried insisting that it would be best for me to go in alone, but that was quickly shot down.
I guess it’s time to clean out all the skeletons in my closet anyway.
My two lead guards flank me as we knock and wait for Teddy to answer the door, but he never does.
“He’s probably already on his way to the game. Here let me…” I pull my keys out of my pocket and find the one for his condo, then shimmy my guard out of the way to let myself in. They go in before me with guns drawn before giving me the all clear.
His condo looks bad. It’s always been a bit bare, something we’ve discussed multiple times about remedying, but this seems even more dull than before.
It lacks the usual clutter that comes with daily use, and without that proof of life, it almost seems haunted.
It’s like Teddy hasn’t been here in days…
Just like my brothers said. Alarms blare in my mind as I go farther into the condo to find every room sterile.
The only thing out of place is a picture album on his nightstand.
I’ve looked through his albums many times, admiring his photography, but I don’t recall this one.
It’s beautiful, with leather binding and etchings of roses on the spine.
My guards stand at the bedroom door as I take a seat on his bed.
His portfolios are themed to each place he’s lived, and I smile when I open this one and see a picture of him and me with the Thunder Bay skyline behind us.
He told me he was struggling to find the desire to take pictures here, and it makes me happy that he was able to find joy in his hobby again.
Flipping through the album brings tears to my eyes.
Each picture represents a memory—from our first picnic on the beach to me standing on the balcony the last morning we were together.
I’m only halfway through the pictures, and I’m excited to see what he’s been up to in the month we’ve been apart, but as I flip through the pages, I’m stunned.
They’re all photos of me: sleeping, changing clothes, in the shower.
They aren’t sexual in nature, even though I think I would be less creeped out if they were.
A boyfriend taking nudes of his girl is way more normal behavior than this.
I’ve just flipped to a picture of me in my bedroom on a night I know was a night he was across the country playing hockey when the front door opens.
My guards usher me into the closet as a voice I know all too well rings throughout the condo.
“There they are! Thanks for agreeing to bring me. Mila would be pissed if she found out I didn’t go straight to the game.”
Mila?
A voice I definitely don’t recognize answers him.
“No problem, man. I get it. You can’t play without your lucky…
socks. Anyway, nice condo. It could use a little color, though.
It might be a shock to your system at first, but trust me when I say, coming home to a cheerful house makes all those kills a little more manageable. ”
“Yeah, as if Mila would ever let me add color to her place.”
Who the fuck is Mila?
“And I doubt she will ever let me live anywhere else after this whole deal with the Santoris is over. Wait, did you say kills? Jesus, Sasha…how many do you have?”
The other guy, who I assume is Sasha, replies. “Oh, I have no idea. You could count my tattoos. I get one for every kill, but I’m running out of skin. I suggest you come up with a better way to keep track of yours, although you do have a lot more real estate than I do.”
Their bellowing laughter carries down the hall before the door opens and closes again, and they’re gone.
My guards don’t give me the all clear to exit the closet for several minutes, although I doubt I could move even if I wanted to. My brothers were right. Teddy is in the Bratva. Teddy is in the Bratva and is moving in with some woman named “Mila.”
I simultaneously feel my heart shatter and feel nothing at all.
Why would he do this? What could the Taranov’s hate about us so much that he would do this?
Why Leo? Of all of my brothers, why would he go after the only one without a hardened heart?
And why use me? He didn’t need me to get to Leo.
He didn’t need to make me fall in love with him. He didn’t need to…
I place a hand on my womb as the tears welling up in my eyes finally fall freely down my cheeks.
My guard holds me as long as he can as I break down in Teddy’s room before insisting that we have to leave.
He tries to pick me up when I struggle to stand, but I don’t let him.
I’m stronger than that. I’m not going to let a man, even one sworn to protect me, hold that kind of power over me right now.
Every step to the car is a little stronger as my lust for vengeance grows, and by the time we’re pulling out onto the road, all I can see is red. I take my phone, ignoring the dozens of messages and calls from Theodore, and dial Gabri.
“Hello?”
“I believe you. How do we take him down?”